To have sent DCs friends home for this behaviour?

This . OP had asked them to stop once already and they didn’t and have the rudeness to eye roll too. They learned their lesson there and so did your DD OP.

I’m surprised so many here think spitting on the floor and the rudeness is acceptable and not a big deal.

Thats really sad. You missed some fun. You could have joined in or help them. Its only water. You need to relax. Its a game all over the place.

Does she say it was on her crockery?

Seems multiple opinions on the game itself - some people think it’s “just water” and no harm done, but I see it as spiting into a hosts crockery and therefore very rude game and would insist the game stopped immediately (and they washed everything up and cleaned up as well)

Also to the 34% who think this kind of miserable behaviour is reasonable, what on earth? Do you have no memory of being 11, making new friends, having crazy fun?

And would they feel comfortable sending their DC to sleepover at the house of such a hot-headed parent.

@VictorBaucherOrSomething please come back! 😄

You are an absolute killjoy. What on earth possessed you to act in this impetuous and unhinged manner? Or are you always like this? Your poor, poor kid!

I think you need to apologise to your daughter and her friends and her friends' parents. They were just being 11, playing a game that everyone is playing. They love it! It's a thing. Our kitchen floor has been soaked multiple times.

Also to the 34% who think this kind of miserable behaviour is reasonable, what on earth? Do you have no memory of being 11, making new friends, having crazy fun?

She's probably mortified at how wrong she got it.
I'm guessing this is the eldest child and OP has no experience of dealing with pre-teens or teens.
Honestly if this is your 11 year old being naughty it's a win. When you catch eye rolling you put a stern voice and say "I saw that". 99% of them will stop.

@Fortheloveofpizza

oh for goodness sake, here we go with the whole ‘if you dare to have any boundaries with your kids and ever say no to them then when they are older they will go no contact with you and not let you see the grandkids (as if, they’ll want free babysitter) and chuck you in a terrible nursing home’

I think they were phenomenally rude. I would have sent them home too. I can’t imagine acting so disrespectfully in someone’s home.

But then my parents raised me with standards.

Seriously spitting water everywhere and not even cleaning it up ? Revolting.

HNRTFT but I have eye rolled just reading this ! Complete Over reaction from you OP .
If they were vaping,looking at dodgy you tube or had helped themselves to your booze supply I could understand it but kids having a bit of fun is pretty harmless in the scheme of things.
You really are going to struggle as your daughter gets older if you don’t unclench !

I hope OP does return to the thread. They posted the question as they were genuinely unsure as to whether sending the friends home had been an overreaction.

This thread gives a good cross section of answers and opinions.

Some of the worst behaved kids my children know have massively strict parents who would never believe their darling Katherine/ Harry would act bad so it must have been another child.

I would allow this behaviour and my 11 year old started secondary this year. The terrible misbehaviour she has done is 1). Got a uniform strike as she forgot to tuck shirt in after PE. 2). Got lost 2 weeks into term and got a late mark and finally 3) told me that she sneaked a look on her phone when sat on the loo as she wanted to see if some sports results had been published. I’m not too concerned about her entering the criminal world quite yet, even if I do let her play daft games on sleepovers.

Would you have told them to go and spit out the water in the bathroom sink instead of your crockery though? That’s the thing I would have nipped in the bud.

Slightly off topic but I had two terrifying choking incidents from laughing when drinking water. 😩

I am not sure if I would have sent them home or not but I’d have been pissed off about it and would have got them to clean it up. It would depend on how good they were usually.

I'm a secondary school teacher and a parent of teens. I cannot imagine having such an overreaction over some harmless fun. If you have a wooden floor it would be fine to say "Girls can you do this over there or outside" but it's utterly batshit to control their fun to this extent. They weren't smoking, swearing or drinking. I can't imagine how embarrassed and humiliated your poor dd feels now.

Is your arse not incredibly painful with that stick wedged up there?

You didn't consider the other parents at all. If my kids are going on a sleepover I probably make plans for a rare night out or night in with DH. You ruined their evening without thought. Yes their children were being disrespectful but if it were me I would have considered the knock on effect of the phone call and it would have stopped me from going ahead. Don't be surprised if DD spends her time hanging out in other houses when she is a teen because she and her friends will be trying to avoid you.

Bit of an overreaction to send them home OP. A bit of eye rolling (when they didn’t think you could see them, not quite the same as being deliberately rude to your face) and silliness isn’t that big a deal. I’d had called your DD to another room, told her that you wanted the mess cleaned up. I’d have been pissed off at having to collect a child under those circumstances,

Yeah I wouldn't have sent them home because they rolled their eyes. I'd have made them clean it up and said if you don't stop, then I'll send everyone home. I'd give them a warning.

How Embarrassing for your daughter. Are you always so unreasonable with your parenting?
Look forward to your post in 20 years asking why your daughter doesn’t speak to you!

They were playing a silly game, they weren’t out tagging properties or mugging old ladies.

Parenting is about picking your battles. She could easily have ‘parented’ well without chucking the kids out, pissing off their parents and alienating her own child. That isn’t good parenting.

They probably didn't see it as being disrespectful - they were just (in their eyes) playing a game and OP blew her top and sent them home over it.

Could they have been a bit more mature about it? Sure, but they're 11. They're pushing boundaries and seeing what they can (and can't) get away with.

I honestly think a lot of people on here forget what it's like to be a pre-teen sometimes.

It's a Tik Tok trend, lots of kids do it, your poor DD must be mortified.

I would also have stopped the game and supervised them clearing up.

I wouldn't have sent them home. My dd is 11 and they often do slightly messy, silly games on sleepovers. Water in the kitchen or bathroom is messy but not difficult to clean up, compared to making potions / slime etc in the bedroom where there is carpet, etc. Once they / dd has to clean up, they usually calm down and contain it more.

But I don't blame you for wanting rules followed if this is your normal and dd knows it. Maybe next time remind dd before she has friends over, and warn her again if it seems things are getting out of hand. You can't watch them all the time and it's a good lesson at that age to be assertive and make sure friends do not misbehave at home.