Daughter invited to holiday abroad

It’s not the age that worries me but that you don’t really know the parents. What if they’re party animals and get hammered / don’t supervise. I wouldn’t trust a stranger, in another country with my 11 year old non

Absolute no if it were me. Wouldnt even consider it

Nope.

I’ve taken several 11yos from Italy to GB in groups of 3 plus my own BUT I cherry-picked the kids and made sure the parents knew I was there exclusively for them, not to have a grownups’ holiday.

The kids loved it and it was a test of their survival skills in a safe environment. I genuinely like that age, too.

One of the mums said her son burst into tears when he got home “Nothing will ever be as good!”. Another mum said every second sentence was “When we were on Sgtmajormummy’s trip…” It was hard work for me but very rewarding. I also had to go to the police station with the parents to get authorization, arrange insurance, rent a larger car etc,

That’s the sort of trip I’d want for my 11yo. If you suspect she’s been invited as some sort of travelling companion to keep their daughter entertained, or doesn’t have the skills to travel abroad, maybe wait a year or so.

At 11 I definitely wouldn’t let my child go on holiday with a family I didn’t know that well.

I allowed my DS at 13 - he then did a UK trip with same family at 14. I didn't know Dad (DP had met him on pick ups/drop offs, and FS had a sleep over in primary) and SM, who he went with, but had known child's DM through primary school, and it felt fine. I had taken friend on numerous days out in primary. All went well. I did worry, but more due to DS's social anxiety and limited diet.
At 11,I would need to know the family, and DC would have to be confident and really keen to go.

I let my DD go to China with her best friend from school she was almost 12. It was just too good an opportunity for her to miss. She was at an independent school as she had won a 50 percent scholarship. Her friend stayed with us over half terms as she was a boarder so it would be too far for her to travel home for just a week. My DD was a day girl. After we had hosted her Chinese best friend for 3 half terms the offer came from dd's friends parents to go home with her Chinese friend to China for 3 weeks over the summer break. She had an amazing time and now an adult she is still in touch with her Chinese friend. She also went to stay with her Spanish friend several times and her friend stayed with us too.

I absolutely wouldn't, the dad is just some bloke you don't know.
What if he's a perv or a drunk or beats the mum?

Maybe a bit young, didn’t start this until 14/15

If the holiday had been in the UK, I might be more inclined to let her go. However, this holiday is to Spain for a week, and if your daughter is home sick or the friendship doesn't go as planned, you wouldn't be able to collect her! Your daughter hasn't know the other child for very long and you don't know her parents. It sounds as if your daughter has got the wrong end of the stick, if she thinks you're going on the holiday too.

I think at 11, going abroad with a family she doesn't know well, would be a No from me. If she'd been 15/16, then the answer would likely be different.

No . Protect and safeguard her.
There would be a massive fallout if anything went wrong.

Can you articulate your concerns beyond “she’s too young”?

I’d be proactive and invite the other parents round for a drink, find out more about it, where they will stay, what they would be doing, what you anre expected to pay for etc. You can then judge if it’s something your daughter is likely to enjoy (and you can afford!)

We took son's 3 different friends abroad on holiday, likely aged 9, 12, 13. No problems at all, they all had a fabulous time.

You're not going to let her anyway so what's the point of asking

No too young. If she had been away in the uk with a friend before I’d feel differently.

I took DS’s best mate with us abroad about age 11. But it was only to France by car. It didn’t cost any extra to add him to the booking, so if the friendship broke down before the summer holidays nothing would have been lost.

11 is too young for me I think, I’d thank the family personally but explain it’s just a bit too soon and in a couple of years it would be different.

You have plenty of time to get to know their family and suss them out. Why not include them in your visits to somewhere you both go to .You could invite them for meals. It would be a shame if your daughter does want the holiday and you turn the opportunity down. I am sure you will be more inclined to agree once you have met the family a few times. You will be able to find if they are responsible etc. All the best OP and if she goes I hope your DD enjoys herself.

It’s a no from me as you don’t know the family well enough. My dd started secondary as well this year and I can’t imagine her going off abroad on holidays with people we know nothing about.

I went on holidays to family friends (flying on my own too) from age 14. We knew them all very well. I think 11 might be ok if you were very close to the family. But not if you don’t.

Yes of course I mean if she really wants to go then I would allow it.

I think the issue is that if something goes wrong at 11 coping/getting yourself out of shit skills are very limited. It would be a no for me

She’s 11. It’s up to her parent/guardian

No, I also find it odd they asked so soon if you don’t know them well, because if you say no it might impact their friendship negatively (hopefully won’t happen). If I was you I would politely decline but say you would prefer to test the waters with a short uk break at x age first.