To think some children are just wired to need / want screen time

NRTFT but as a child we didn’t have a tv in the home until I was about 6 years old and it was black and white with limited times - ie not 24/7 like now. Children’s tv was perhaps a couple of bites a week. The tv frequently stopped working as they were pretty unreliable in the 60’s.
Now, as an adult, I love watching tv (and being in mumsnet), I could happily watch tv most of my waking hours.
This can’t be because I’m hard wired to like it.

It's also a case of letting them get bored & them then finding a ay ti amuse themselves & they will.

when I was older than your DS if I ever complained of being bored my Dad would say I could always do xyz (boring job) if I was just going to whinge about being bored!

make it a rule not to 'give in' to screen time & it'll help stop the pestering. If he knows he'll win, you're making it harder on yourself. No means NO. He will play with his toys or look at a book etc, we are wired to amuse ourselves.

that's my age bracket too.

its nothing like the same!

yes all of those things & more were the main 'thing' at one time or another, but nowhere near as exclusively. Not even the hand held consoles (single game).

nor were things like bike riding, playing out, skipping, swimming excluded, they were as well as reading & Lego.

screentime US the issue because it's a mindless dopamine hit, a huge dopamine hit with no effort & there's NO incentive to get a dopamine hit in other ways. It's doesn't offer anything like reading, Lego, hitting a tennis ball did.

Personally lived on moving things (bike, roller skates, skateboard, if not up a tree or swimming & never once did I end up in A&E ' I'd much rather kids had the same upbringing than sat on screens in case they grazed their knees

of course not. it’s easier yes but it’s not a natural thing we need. YABU

My DC did have an iPad, WII and PS, I didn't restrict access for time spent on it, obviously content but they didn't choose to go on it they'd rather play with toys or outside at the park/beach. I think the OP may have a point about some children's propensity for screens as some of their friends were definitely addicted and this was 2010s so not as much publicity about non digital childhoods.

I did read loads with my DC and we did mini plays etc as they always loved a storyline so they would apply that too their toys that were figures and buildings or treehouses in the case of DD who loved Peter Rabbit. We even made her a woodland scene on a wooden board with fake grass and a stone pathway.

I think boys are more entranced than girls by screens due to their brains preferring spatial movement and sensory stimulations where girls are often happy with creative crafts and pretend play. Hence why even though girls and boys like video games you only really ever see teen boys getting addicted to them.

Obviously parts of this could be socialisation too but it’s just something I’ve noticed.

I sort of agree with you. I do think some kids find it hard to keep busy without the screen. But having said that, I wouldn't pander to it, as much as possible. My 4 year old would like more screen time. I try my hardest not to give it. I do give in when I need to get on with housework or make dinner, or make phone calls, etc. He plays really well one-to-one, but he struggles to play alone. As soon as I need to get up and do something, he won't play. I guess this is something that comes with age.
It is worth pointing out I think, that my DH is ND, so you may be onto something there. My son doesn't really show any signs, but I wonder if there is a very mild form there, as it's usually genetic.

I think people are being pedantic in saying screens didn't exist years ago and that's not what PP means. There will be children / people who are more passive or less outgoing or extroverted or less physically active have other traits (I am not necessarily picking the relevant ones) which lead them to be more likely to sit and watch tv rather than do other things. I could sit and watch tv for hours but have a full time job and young children so that's not possible. I'm ND and think it helps me decompress after working or socialising (which drains me). I think some children are the same and others are not.

I have two boys, now adults but we're children in the early 2000s when screens were very much a thing. I limited them to an hour a day, none before school and one screen free day a week. I relaxed the rules in school holidays but not completely.
I can say they absolutely hated the limits. None of their friends were restricted, not that that affected my decision. It was a constant source of conflict.
They were good kids, well behaved, doing well at school and we live in a village so their friends were miles away, hence online communication.

When they reached 13 (I think) I agreed to scrap the timers as long as they demonstrated that they were responsible and not gaming all day long. It worked reasonably well. One DC gave up all screens off his own back for the summer holidays. He was like a different child, I was shocked. He admitted he had felt addicted and compelled to game and was relieved at going cold turkey. He went back to gaming until he left uni. I feel like he had an addictive nature.

In the long term both did well at school, top grades etc and uni. One still games occasionally the other never does. So I don't think long term harm came of it but that might be because of them not my limits.

Just to add that none of their female friends or cousins ever had any interest in gaming but this was pre-smart phones and I am talking about computer games such as RuneScape, Age of Empires, and consoles.

Some children will get addicted more easily to the screens - they are not hardwired for screens but they are not learning to live without constant high levels of stimulation which could be to their disadvantage in the long term

It isn’t imperative for any child to have a phone/ipad. It’s a consequence of the modern world.

How do you think kids in poor countries get on? Probably they’re outside playing and getting into mischief like in my day!

I think there is some truth in that, my teen DC would prefer late 90s/ early 00s lifestyle with no smart phones, they are always going out and my eldest had a PlayStations a WII when younger but he preferred to play with Lego and my DD preferred to play with Sylvanians and Lego and have storylines.

@Gagamama2 i raised time on the PlayStation during my son's adhd assessment - I was hoping/expecting they would say he should cut back but they said it was good for giving him the stimulation he was craving.
As they get into secondary school a lot of after school socialising will be done on games consoles.

That's in my age bracket.

The only difference is that you became completely absorbed in something else at the expense of everything. This could be anything from handheld consoles to model railways to drawing to reading 3 books a day to watching TV to playing a guitar until your fingers bled to falling off bikes and out of trees to taking their bike apart and reassembling it before moving on to dissassembling electrical items to LEGO to Meccano to everywhere to hitting a tennis ball against the back wall of the house for hours on end from 7am.

The only way to put a stop to one completely absorbing activity was to find a new one to be completely absorbed in. It didn't change the hunt for dopamine and adrenaline, it just gave you the motivation to find alternative ways to annoy others or injure yourself more spectacularly to the exclusion of all else.

The absorption in an activity - in this case, screen time - isn't the cause as much as it is a symptom of the condition. It depends upon the parent whether it makes their life easier to have the kid quiet or whether they actually want the kid bouncing off the walls and on first name terms with all of the staff at the local A&E.

Well it only became common in homes in the 1950s. There was limited hours and only 2/3 channels until the 80s. Screen time nowadays doesn’t mean tv. It means iPads, games consoles and phones. As you well know.

absolutely.

I'm similar, one is take it or leave it, the other two obsessed. We only allow consoles and gaming at the weekend and it's "unlimited post 9am and breakfast until 7pm" except between activities and parties and general family stuff, it is actually massively limited- but doesn't feel that way to them. I also think sometimes it's better not to let them then let them when you know they have to be off in an hour and you'll have a row. I need a plan to get them off. I agree that the type of game matters. Same as watching a movie is different from 2 hours of YouTube.

That's true. However we are starting to see eye and skeleton issues because of high wall mounted televisions.

Its not the learning. There is a lot around phones and tablets and neck and eye issues v a TV. Then the content is different. There is something different about quick scroll type content in terms of dopamine hits and addiction, v 'slow tv' and gaming again can vary but a lot are designed to be addictive. (Although you could use a TV to do similar things like game or watch youtube so the screen isnt an issue its the use and posture)

When do you think TV was invented?!

Why is watching TV better? You are only learning what is shown. My youngest got into Manga and Studio Ghibli because of being online. It was then driven into popular culture. Apart from Attenborough's wildlife documentaries, TV would have taught her nothing. Being online opened her up to different cultures and non mainstream media. I read world news on my phone for the same reason. I thought that it was charming that thanks to an online presence, "Pretty little baby" (1962) hit the charts just before Connie Fancis's death. Likewise Kate Bush being played everywhere.

It’s a learned behaviour. It’s addictive basically and some people are more prone to react to its effects than others. You are right to limit it but potentially distinguish between screen time which is social eg all watching a movie or programme together and individual screen time especially gaming, plus social gaming is different to personal gaming (all playing Mario kart is different for example)

Pretty sure both my DC have adhd, only one diagnosed. DC1 loves skateboarding, parkour and risky sports, it's good because if he didn't he would want to do screens and not much more.

Dc2 would happily do screens till the cows come home.

I wouldn't compare current general screen time behaviour to your brother's childhood. Games were less dopamine - hitty, less available (on a pc not in your pocket), less peer pressure involved eg no online group gaming and social media.

No child needs screen time, nature is not aware that ipads and tvs have been invented.