To think some children are just wired to need / want screen time

My childhood wasn't the best but I also spent most of my time either reading (especially Enid Blyton!) or playing down a local field. That's all I did and I was never bored.

Yep, that was my childhood (90's). I definitely spent most, though not all, of my time playing in the garden or reading and remember it as a very happy childhood.

We try (not always successfully) to limit screen time. No screens before school, only probably 30 mins after school (mainly due to activities). Weekends we have them turn them off at certain points.
Anyways I now feel that schools are not helping with this. My 5 year olds homework is numbots which she has to do on her tablet. School has asked for her to go on at least 5 days a week.

No they are not wired to need screens. My grandparents generation didn't even know what screens where. No TV and went to the cinemas about twice a year. In the grand scheme of things that wasn't that long ago. It's learnt behaviour

Girls are very different to boys. My boys never had the slightest bit of interest in colouring, crafts, singing (they do love reading and they love a screen). We balance out screens by being out and about at the weekend, long walks, lots of fresh air. Do you get outside lots at the weekend?

For us, i’d rather the kids chilled out on screens or tv after school as they’ve had a really busy day (neither child has access to phones etc in school hours so they are only on screens at school if its part of the lesson) and get them out at the weekend more.

My DS is a shy kid, likely ND and has always been hooked on screens. If it's not you tube it's Minecraft or Roblox etc. He does have a few other interests but none so much as screens. I hate the you tube but fine with the games. The restrictions become trickier as they enter high school as we have found that a lot of homework requires access to a computer, the internet, email etc. It is the way of the modern world and it has it's pros and cons, but on balance, it is a transition that I think they need gearing up towards work and FE.

The issue with coming off them is likely an issue with transitions. It doesn't mean they are spoilt, it just means you and they need to have a better understanding of how to manage the transition eg can you come off at the end of that video, or I need you to come off in the next 10 mins are things that have worked for us. My kids are now pretty good at realising that is not a good time to start another and it's fair. The other way you can do it is have the tech to be able to turn the internet off on the device after a certain period of time or at a certain time and have them know that this will happen. Now my DS is older he has a little more flexibility, but my advisory to him is regulate yourself or I will need to regulate it for you.

My DD flip flops between a million different activities. She likes screens and can spend a while enjoying a bit of downtime on them, but I think she genuinely seeks variety for her dopamine and doesn't need that sameness. She's crafting, singing, role playing, playing with toys. Multiple hobbies and interests and a need to move, very different from my DS. I don't really restrict her screen time now because it is honestly never been an issue.

When I was a kid, I quite liked computer games but it was really limited because gaming was quite different. But I could easily read book after book. Till 2am with a torch if I thought I'd get away with it. Me and my DS are quite similar people in many ways, it just looks different

I am a firm believer in it's less about the scrren time but more about what the screen time consists of.
myo older DS loves playing very complex games in his computer. He is currently playing a game that is set in space and is having to do research into physics to calculate landing trajctories for spacecraft (he's a humanities student!). He also likes playing very complex WWII games online, these are so complex he doesn't seem to have any local friends who do them but connects with people over the world, including a very senior guy in the Canadian army who's given him some great career advice !
my point is that my nerdy son has always loved this kind of thing and I have honestly encouraged it because it's the sort of stuff that is hard to do locally or on a piece of paper. He is a confident chatty sporty kid outside of this and I never let him play late in the evening etc but I also didn't see it as all bad.
When my DS were both younger we used to play together Wii or Minecraft or whatnot, and it was a fun bonding experience for us all.
I don't personally think screens are the enemy. It can be positive, but, as with everything there is a balance. If your DS are doing plenty of other stuff off screen then I wouldn't worry too much

This! And the amount of screen time kids have these days is bloody insane. My son is in year2 - half of the boys in his class are like zombies, only talking about Roblox or Minecraft. They don't want to play, they don't want go to the park. It's very sad.

I know mum who takes her laptop to the park that her son could play as it's the only way to take 8 year old outside.

My kids have limited screen time. However, your partner should not be getting ‘angry’ with you. Is he helping to look after them while they’re bored after school or are you the one trying to cook dinner on your own while they’re unoccupied

My 9 and 7 year old both have ADHD, my 9 year old in particular just cannot amuse himself without support from us. He has plenty of other interests - he plays the drums, loves to draw, read, play on his skateboard etc. however it takes a lot for him to be able to turn off the tv and go and do one of the other activities. Once we say enough tv time he will complain he is bored, we often have to sit with him and start the activity and he will then get interested but he is definitely more drawn to a screen.
My 7 and 4 year old will play together, they play imaginative games and when I turn off the tv they are less bothered. I do think for some kids they are just much more easily addicted!

I do in my case I never took my head out of the book it was escapism. My DS who has Asperger’s and wants to know everything uses a computer.Never had a tantrum in his life.

Mine are ND and we (usually!) impose limits and try to lean towards educational stuff rather than Youtube crap. We don't always get it right but we do try! I am mindful that ND minds are more prone to dopamine seeking.

I can guarantee if tablets were a thing in the 80's/90's the boomers would have handed them out like sweets.

Some children can entertain themselves, and in different ways. Others prefer passive entertainment.

Children aren’t wired to want screen time.

Screen time is wired to be addictive to children (and adolescents and lastly adults).

I'm not talking about online in general, my DD is 7 so imo far to young to be 'online' and discovering manga etc. maybe when she's a teen. That can also be done on.computers, not necessarily tablets.

TV is better than tablets for young children because of the addictive nature, being able to choose, constantly advertised too, parents unaware of content, chopping and changing videos, etc. Tv also isn't so close to your face or available anywhere you go

Nope. My child was given unlimited access to an iPad at 4, in. An effort to make it "just another toy" within weeks all she wanted to do was iPad, above other previous favourite activities. Dre the line when she refused to see her granny (her most favourite person aside from me and dad) and when I said it was time to go and see granny, and went to take the iPad, she screamed, shouted she wanted to go on the iPad and tried to hit me....

She was only allowed in cbeebies and a colouring in game....

So yea...no it's not your perfect parenting I'm afraid.

One of my Goddaughters had unrestricted access to her (online) iPad, but she could take it or leave it, really didn't use it, but later when she got her bloody phone, she was never off it! Friends I guess.

Sometimes, but as well as having a lot of my own books as presents, we went to the library a lot! 3 books a day? I don't remember exactly (the book was important to me,not how many and is irrelevant).

I read a lot, was often told by the old couple who looked after us in the school holidays to go outside & play. so I'd roller skate & take my book & sit on the grass verge & read. Read with a torch under the covers after lights out.

im bloody sure, though it may feel like it now, you did not hit a tennis ball against a wall from 7am to 9 pm

No idea what you're on about the budget? We didn't bloody have one! We played with our toys, read our books and yes sometimes we'd go to the swimming baths or when I was older the roller rink. But only very occasionally. What point were you trying to make?

my point is I had things I loved. But they all involved using my brain or my body or both, not getting a huge dopamine hit just sitting there watching a screen.

I've never limited it so as not to turn it into some forbidden exciting thing.
It means they chose to do other things themselves and there are no meltdowns at times when I do have to ask them to stop. An abundance of something leads to that thing becoming boring which is definitely what has happened in our house. Maybe I am lucky though - I know I'll get replies to this saying "My child wouldn't ever stop if I let them" but I'm guessing it's because they've never been given a real chance to get bored of it.

Came on to say exactly the same thing.

No ,it's a learned behaviour. Kids,or indeed anyone, didn't desire screen time before mobile phones were a thing.

You didn't do three books a day and knacker the entire budget for the summer by halfway through the last week of July, then? Or read all night because you literally couldn't stop to sleep, not because it was particularly good but because you were wide awake and couldn't stop as long as there was another page?

I know I did. And I'm pretty sure the neighbours weren't particularly enthusiastic about the tennis ball starting at 7am and continuing until 9pm.

Ditto. I was born when it was just two channels - we also had no TV until the mid Sixties. I would still rather read books than watch TV.

Although I do seem to have lost the ability to type and/or spell correctly.