DH to pay off mortgage then stop house bill contributions

How much and how long is left in the mortgage? How much is the lump sum? How small is the small pension.

Because if you're talking about paying off maybe £30k and the mortgage would have been done by the time you're 50 anyway and he's only going to be getting £250 a month in pension or whatever, that's an incredibly different position from paying off £100k and he's going to have £1000 a month in pension. Because in the case of the former there's a huge risk associated with him never going or being able to go back to work. Whereas in the latter case he could ultimately decide to live on very little in terms of personal money and use his pension to contribute to household costs after his year off.

My DH is 55. If he wanted to do this i’d be happy. In fact he was going to take 6 months between jobs and I was supportive , but he accidentally found a new job straight away.

The mortgage is paid off entirely, you’re not paying anymore than you are now, and it’s a calmer happier household.

The only caveat is you have a shit pension, he has a ‘small’ pension, your DC are young for a 55 year old parent, so I don’t think it’s affordable for him to never work again. But if he goes back to something less stressful
or part time after the year, then your contribution to the bills is reduced and you can invest in your pension for a while, I think that’s fair. You will be in a better financial position than most 49 year olds (49 by then!). Just needs to be agreed up front. Plus him taking on more chores.

We will have to wait for OP to confirm whether her child will come out of breakfast and after school club and her partner cover the school runs or not.

I guessed they were staying in the childcare because OP doesn't mention saving on childcare - she mentions cutting back on takeaways and luxuries to cover the £100 shortfall in the budget.

My guess is if her partner is faced with 8:45 school drop off and 3pm pick up/make dinner etc he will opt to get a job instead.

Interesting, all the posters that think men should not be allowed to retire earlier than their wives. There are a lot of posters complaining that one salary isn’t enough and that both partners should work and yet all the statistical evidence for the UK shows how common it is for women to ‘retire’ or never to return to full time work after having children. I wonder if the same posters would be out in force if a man complained that his wife was taking early retirement be cause she was burnt out?
From Google AI
In the UK, a significant number of older women are not in economic employment. The economic inactivity rate for women aged 50 to 64 was 30.0% in 2025, significantly higher than for men of the same age (22.0%).
One of the reasons given for the fact that men die earlier than women is that they are expected to stay in work for longer.

I would say that you’d like to do the same at 55. He has presumably worked 7 years longer than you?

The problem with him taking a year off is broad in its impact.

He's quite likely not to want to go back work, but also he's going to find it a lot more difficult for employers to want to take him on if he takes a whole year off and they think he only going back to work because he was forced to by running out of money. Unless he has sought after skills the job market isn't looking as if it's headed in the right direction to take a year out either.

I don't think it would be fair to you unless he takes over ALL the running of the household, but that would make it even more likely he would never go back to work as he will feel he's earning his keep.

He's also removed your joint security if you lose your job or become unable to work for some reason. And removed a large amount of spare money that I'm sure you currently spend on family luxuries.

By taking a large lump sum he's also reduced your joint future retirement income, which will affect your standard of life in your old age. To be fair to you, he should continue working and put the mortgage money into a pension.

I would be very unhappy about all of this.

I’m also amazed they can live off £1100 per month food and bills. Just doing a quick tally, and £1100 would just about cover food, council tax and energy bills and house and car insurances in my household. No room for holidays, clothes, petrol, haircuts, internet/tv subscriptions, hobbies, school uniforms, Christmas and birthday presents etc.

For any financial planing post, I like to post the Money Saving Expert budget planner. It’s a good exercise to do.

https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/banking/budget-planning/

Do you bring home the same amount? What expenses if any are left to be paid for that are not currently covered by the £2k bills pot?

It’s for a year and you’re benefitting bcos he’ll be around more to help out with the house and kids. You say you enjoy your job, you’re younger than him so not near retiring, I think you’re being selfish.

He will have paid off your mortgage, that’s huge!! Give the poor bloke a break and let him have a bit of time off.

You mention your pension being shit. Have you been putting a lot less into your pension than he has? (I get that he might be DB pension and you DC, that’s how it is in our house, so I put extra in).

I would be suggesting he can have his year off, but out of the pot he uses to pay off the mortgage he puts aside the £100 pound per month shortfall so that your overall standard of living isn’t affected.

But that after a year (or maybe 6 months, that’s a decent break), he looks for work to boost the family finances. You could then put more into your pension. It sounds like you still have young children, it’s pretty precarious to be reliant on one income, what if you got ill or couldn’t work?

But DH and I wouldn’t have the mindset about ‘our half’, ‘our money’’ (and i’m the higher earner by a good amount) is spent to support our family lifestyle equally. If we were able to pay off our mortgage, we would both still work and divert that money somewhere else that would benefit us.

I also agree that if he’s at home, he should take on lion’s share of housework and mental load.

He’ll be paying an enormous chunk of of his share upfront by basically paying the mortgage of
looking long term you’ll benefit massively by this
because looking forward he’ll of paid the mortgage off then when he goes back to work he will start contributing to the bills so you get a double whammy as he’s already paid his fair share by clearing the mortgage then he’s starts paying a share of what should be your
contribution so he ends up paying 75% of the total cost ( 50% cleared mortgage +50% of your share) your on a good number

if I were him I’d invest redundancy and carry on paying mortgage from that investment
bit more costly and pointless but it would keep you off his back

I think I would go with the flow for 6 - 9 months to see how it panned out.

But with some ground rules.

You like being with DC, so you keep doing the school runs etc. But he becomes the default contact if they need collecting because of sickness etc.

What chores can he take over? Do you routinely cook or shop? He could take over one or both of these - and if he is cooking most nights then that gives you more time to spend with DC.

Its not an uncommon arrangement, it just needs to be discussed and worked out. Maybe agree that he gets the first month to himself to decompress, then he has to take more household responsibility after that.

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I would personally be focusing on the financial side. For most pensions there will be a huge financial downside of taking it early. A few will give the same value if you take at 55or 85. That would be my first question.

If it’s a DC scheme you will loose a decade of compounding and that will be a massive loss.

I think you also need to discuss retirement in greater detail, it sounds like neither of you have much so what’s the plan long term? What sort of retirement do you both want and what ages?

Depending on these answers he might be better getting another job even if it’s part time. I would imagine that you should both be looking at getting as much into pensions as you can

I am older than my DH by 5 years. I have had the better paid career with a good pension that I’ve loved, he’s always had a low wage job with a crap pension that he hated.
We agreed that I would take my pension early (58) and return to my job part time. Mortgage got paid off from my lump sum. After a year of PT work, Covid hit. I didn’t work but DH still did due to his job being one where they didn’t need to furlough anyone. It was a shitty year for him! In 2021, we decided that I would continue to work PT but DH would also go PT. This continued until early 2025 when he eventually stopped working completely due in part to being made redundant but also having some significant health issues.
We’re now in a situation where he is ‘retired’ (no pension yet) and I still work PT, so the tables have turned. I will retire fully this summer.
No one knows how things will pan out when we make decisions about work, retirement etc but in a marriage I really believe it should be team work. Decisions need to be made jointly, each partner treated equitably. If DH had stopped work when I did, he would have worked fewer years in total over his working life, we would have been financially compromised and I think we would have been miserable as a result. Instead, we’ve made decisions based on circumstances that we’ve discussed and agreed with and as a result are very happy with our situation.

@Luannaa take the points made in this thread and write down any worries. Discuss the running of the house, the childcare tax allowance stopping (parents don't get to permanently opt out of school runs) and also the school holidays and then housework. A year out must contain him looking after the children and how would that work if he wants to do hobbies every day? Then discuss what he will apply for in a year. What are your savings like? Enough for a few thousand £ dental work? New damp proofing/plastering etc? Retiring early doesn't always fit well with having children later, unfortunately.

Are you kidding @Luannaa?
Your husband has worked SEVEN more years that you by virtue of his age!

He has contributed his £1k per month in advance by paying the mortgage off.

Of course he should take his year off! Why wouldn’t you want that for him?!

I am amazed you can live on 1k per month to food and bills; as you said you have children too.

You also said he is taking early retirement but may look for a job later on, Does he has enough money to support himself and a pension and for how long? Or is he just taking a year off and start job hunting again.

What happens if you loose your job? Is there enough savings and pension.?

Very risky living in one person income

It’s nonsense to say he will never work again without knowing the individual. I know several people who have retired in their 50s from stressful careers, taken some time out, then retrained or found less stressful jobs. He hasn’t said he never wants to work again, he’s said he wants a year off
That is also my personal experience and that of friends. NHS workers, police officers, retiring at 55 with massive burn outs they carried for years. Not one has stayed without some form of employment after 6 months even when they planned longer.

The reality is that they miss the social aspect and the structure of routine. They are delighted with the loss of work stress, but not the freedom. All work 3 or 4 days a week but in jobs with less responsibilities or finally doing what they've always really wanted but couldn't afford before.

The resentment from some posters is quite shocking. There is constant expectation from men to prioritise their partner's happiness but clearly, some seem to believe this is a one way ticket only...

Not all men are lazy lumps that will vegetate for a year and Op must know what kind of person her DH is.

it makes you wonder if the reason the OP has started this thread is possibly due to concerns about whether things will pan out as the DH says they will. Otherwise why would they bother starting a thread if everything felt equitable and they were confident it would all work out.

agreed that not all men are like that, but it's human nature, once someone, male or female, has the easy life, it's very difficult to shift back to something that's less conducive and more constrained.

Hmm difficult one. Personally I think you should combine your monthly incoming’s, pay out the bills then split what’s left over. It’s not fair for one of you to be poorer than the other.

appreciate that he’s paying off the mortgage though so I don’t know how you’d make that equal if you don’t have a lump sum coming in down the line. you cant magic up money though so you’d just have to make whatever you do have equal I think. Especially if you’re not going to have a great pension, you can’t have a couple living two completely different lifestyles, that’s not fair, you’ve built the life together

What a strange post and even stranger answers. Obviously a lot would depend if there are still children in the home.

For context, we are in a very similar position. Exept we actually worked together as a couple and how to make the most of our time.

OP'S husband still needs to eat, keep warm, there is council tax and the house needs some maintenance as well as the regular household tasks.

So unfortunately he can't just put his feet up and take a 12 months + holiday and do what? Leave OP with the burden of paying for her husbands every day needs and still do her share of the housework so he can get immersed in his hobbies?
Nope didn't happen here. We both reduced our hours at work. We both still pay for joint household expenses and we both have time and money for hobbies as well as doing stuff together: like going out for a meal, and overnight stay somewhere or going to see a band/ theatre.

But that’s what the pre retirement arrangement is, she doesn’t say this will be continuing once he’s actually stopped working.
All she needs to do is cancel all the paid childcare and he needs to know the school run times and when school holidays are. If she continues to either pay for childcare or do the school runs herself then she’s a fool. If he wants it to continue, he pays for it out of his income.

Statistically far more women than men in the UK retire in their fifties. Since COVID the number of females in their fifties who are not economically active has risen significantly. Women live longer too so they are generally ‘retired’ for longer than men. Anecdotally, I know a lot of my friends who never really returned to full time work after having children. Even when their children were at university or had moved out, they all looked to their husbands to provide the money. I don’t like the phrase ‘cocklodgers’ but there are far more women relying on men for financial support in their fifties than the other way round.