DH to pay off mortgage then stop house bill contributions

You don’t think paying off the mortgage would benefit them all?

If he died or became unwell then OP could not afford to pay the mortgage on her own.

With it paid off that’s £900 less they have to find each month and if something did happen to one of them, there would be no worries about losing their home.

Maybe when OP retires she can choose to spend her money on work done to the house.

A significant proportion of those 50-64 year old women will be "retired" because they are caring for elderly parents, not sitting with their feet up or enjoying their hobbies. It is widely recognised that women carry the bulk of elder care as well as child care, so they often struggle to manage it all at that age, especially if menopause is also impacting. Men and women's lives are not the same, so direct comparisons of employment stats are not always fair.

@Luannaa You're not looking at the bigger picture of life in retirement and the income you need to have a comfortable lifestyle.
Do some proper planning as a couple.

At 48, retirement for you is likely to be 68 for the state pension so will you work that long or can you afford to retire earlier ?

You're not really dealing with this in a mature way- you're only looking at the next year and resenting having to work when he isn't.

So OP want him to cover the mortgage (equivalent to £900 irrespective of it’d he’s pays it off in full or continues to pay monthly)
then cover 50%of bills
so DH pays for 75% of cost and OP pay 25%

So is this a pension lump sum he's using to pay off the mortgage?
Presumably your career somewhat halted by doing all the school runs etc and everything to allow him to continue to earn well and pay into this pension - so in effect some of this lump sum he's using is in part thanks to you?
Sorry but I'm fed up of women's / mums labour being invisible and unseen.

It's not unreasonable to have a 3 month break and/or choose a part time job that pays his half ie 550 per month but it's completely out of order to swan off and leave you picking up his shortfall, feeling like your hard work towards this lump sum is immaterial, dropping your living standards and by sounds of it still not helping with school runs!

Probably sounding angry but typical entitled man springs to mind!

I don't understand this. (Not your post but picking up on the same points.)

If he is getting a lump sum when he leaves his career then he would be also getting a pension. That pension should now be part of your total income @Luannaa

It sounds as if you have not sat down as a couple to discuss your future finances in detail.

If he's only going to get a small pension at his age, how will this provide for you both in the future?

What pension will you get?

Will both your pensions and the state pension be enough in the future?

As long as you are not paying more I genuinely don’t understand the problem. How much longer did you have left on the mortgage ?
he has essentially paid off your share of it so I think only fair that things carry on as they are ? Why should he have to pay more when he has just paid off the mortgage?

Ooh this is a weird one. Why haven’t you both discussed your shared future?

How much is the lump sum paying off? What happens if there are unexpected bills?

I think taking his pension early isn’t a crazy thing to do but surely DH picking up a different, part time, low stress job would be a great compromise?

He could have time for his hobbies but continue to bring money in for everyone’s financial security.

I imagine, if he has a whole year off for hobbies, he will be reluctant to look for work after that. and indeed, might find it difficult to get a job.

Slowing down sounds great but stopping not ideal for many reasons.

From what OP has said, his job has taken a toll on his health. I had a job that made me ill through stress and burnout. Luckily my DH was able to bear the financial brunt of me taking a year off work to recover before looking for another job. Looking back, I really needed that and probably would have been ill again had I not had time and space to recover. Perhaps the DH here is in a similar position. When you also add in that (a) he’s paying off the mortgage, (b) you can financially cope and (c) he’s only asked for one year before looking for work again - as well as the fact he’s 7 years older than OP so why would they retire at the same time anyway? - I think it would be very unreasonable to not agree to this.

For him to pay off the mortgage and agree that he will look for part time work/another job in one year, I genuinely don’t see the problem. I guess it would depend on how old your children are? He would need to pick up the lion’s share of life admin and running the house as well as doing hobbies!

You probably don't need any more replies but what did strike me was your first post where it all seems very much 'his' money and 'your' money.
For a couple who are married and in middle age, you seem to regard your income as separate assets.

If he can pay off YOUR mortgage, then that is a huge bonus.
I don't know what work he does but your post suggests he could be medical - changing people's lives etc- so I think he's completely right to take a year off- but will he work again or not?

It's a bit confusing as you say take a year off but also retire.
Which is it?
Can he go back to the type of work he did or is he never going to work again except as a hobby?

Maybe you need to re-think this along lines of joint income not his and yours?

I think would be my preferred option. It doesn't shelter him from the rising cost of living which I think is going to be really important for the next few years...if he's going to be home a lot more using more heat/electricity then there's a bill that is immediately going to rise!

Wondering if thinks like clothes/holidays are included in that 2k a month - if not how will things like that be covered if he's on what sounds like a pocket money pension?

I will get a lump sum when I retire but I would expect that to be a contribution to something to benefit all of us - whether work done to the house, money set aside for the dc, a special holiday. It wouldn't be instead of me being able to pay a share of bills!

But he’s paying the mortgage off for both of you? You’re being selfish here. Can you afford to pay off the mortgage? Then you can retire and he has to continue working.

So they way I read this is that you won't have any extra to contribute than you already do currently?
If that is correct, then it's fair. If he didn't retire you'd be working and paying the exact same.

Police retire at 55; it's a tough job and the shift work can screw up a person too, hence the early retirement. Not suggesting that's their job, but it sounds like the OP is a little jealous, when I think they should be happy.
Makes sense they pay off the mortgage and then takes a step back on contributions for a while - I'm sure it all works out to a similar amount in the end?

I've just had a reason to claim on house insurance and there was a large excess to pay!

He’s getting a pension so still has an income. Floods and leaks are usually covered by insurance.

How easy will it be to get a job after a full year off? He could spend time retraining for something else, or renovating the house - you could sell that to an employee, but not lie ins and cycling!
It's good to have the mortgage paid off but it's not accessible money that can be used for unexpected bills or holidays or a replacement car.
I think he should take 3 months, and then keep reviewing the situation - how's it working financially and also emotionally for everyone not just him

Let me out it another way. It doesn't seem balanced if you're still doing everything you did before, and yet you lose out on treats, such as takeaways, etc.

What about the rising cost of living? By the end of the year your outgoings will increase. Is it sustainable on your salary?

Fair play to him for early retirement.

your joint mortgage is joint, great he can pay it off for BOTH of you, but works in his favour too so he doesn’t have to get another job. I would say all your finances are joint and not his/mine, so ok no mortgage but surely he should contribute something towards bills? Maybe not 50%, but something and he would need to do all chores / school runs etc.

Is he retiring from being a parent, husband, partner too? Or just from his job. Because it sounds like you do everything while he expects he will be on permanent vacation from now on with no resposibilities.

If he expects you to continue to pay full household bills , he needs to accept some house responsibilities and continue to be a parent. He wouldn't have been able to pay the mortgage if you didnt take on paying the rest if the bills. You both paid for the house/ mortgage, not just him.

OP if he decided to buy a new car/lads holiday, whatever instead of paying off the mortgage, then surely he'd still be liable to pay his half to cover living expenses.

I agree with PP's that OH will need to step up in terms of giving his time to contribute to the running of the house. I don't like school runs either, but I have to do them!

Is the lump sum he will use to pay off the mortgage bigger than a years worth of payments?

I mean, personally, I wouldn’t be happy with my husband retiring and me continuing to work (but then I expect him to cover the bills and any work I do is a bonus), but I suppose in your situation it doesn’t actually make a difference in terms of what you’ve been doing. I just think you need to let him have this year, it sounds like he needs it, and then tell him after that, you’re not happy with the arrangement long term.

I guess you could argue he has ‘front loaded’ his share.
But how does the long term picture look - if the kids get more expensive (teenage stuff, then support at uni) can he still afford to pay his share? What about when a length of time has elapsed such that he is no longer ‘ahead’ in the mortgage - can he afford half of all costs from then onwards, for the rest of your lives, on the pension he has? And can you afford the other half on your projected pension?

If not I think he’d be much better searching for a lower stress potentially part time role before giving up work. The job market isn’t great and I can’t imagine a 56 year old man who hasn’t worked for a year and wants to shift into an area where he has no experience will find it very easy to find a job.

Just a question to OP - if he isn’t contributing, and most of his lump sum is taken by paying off mortgage, and there’s no money left from your wages, what happens if you have an unexpected cost? If the roof needs replacing, or the boiler dies? High cost repairs need to be considered and contingency made for these, just in case he decides not to work at all.

It does sound like he needs time to relax and reset from such a stressful job. But unless you’ve got lots of money it’s a long time until state pension kicks in and you’ll likely have a high household bill to pay on the next 12 years.