DH to pay off mortgage then stop house bill contributions

Has he already committed to taking the large lump sum? Given his young age he may be better off taking no / small lump sum and receiving a larger pension - look at inverse commutation.

If I were working full time I would expect him to be doing more than hoovering and cooking dinner.

Can I ask a question ? Do posters really think that paying off the mortgage entitles him to give up work and watch OP work 40+ hours to fund every single other expense as the sole earner ? Where is the back up plan ? What happens in emergencies ? What if OP is taken ill or loses her job ? What if he decides he doesn’t want to go back to work at all, or can’t find a job at 56 having been unemployed for a year ? Why the hell are posters telling OP she should be grateful he is paying the mortgage off when it’s clear that he’s the only one who will benefit from it. It won’t make any bloody difference to OP - she still has to work full time with no end date until their outgoings reduce so that she can either stop working or reduce her hours.

He’s paid in advance, i would want him to be in work after a year though to share the load and maybe you can drop some hours. Not sure if I’m right or wrong, it’s just how I would feel about it. I would absolutely want him to be going school runs/clubs and chores though.

My husband retired at 54, he had no choice, can only work 30yrs as a police officer. He worked hard at his job, seeing things and being in situations alot of us would rather not see. He worked his way up the ladder and l was, and still am extremely proud of him. We too paid of the little we had outstanding on the mortgage, & l carried on working full time. I am a nurse in the nhs so have plenty of years of work infront of me. After a couple of months not working, my dh became bored and felt isolated, so got a part time job. I do a supermarket shop once a week, l pay, but many times l have asked my dh to do the big shop, he pays. It really doesn't bother us, who pays for what, we are a couple, we share...

They’re still at school. OP will have to carry on working to fund everything else. The mortgage may be paid off but the other expenses continue and are now OP’s sole responsibility. DH is the one who will benefit most from paying off the mortgage and OP will probably burn out trying to foot the bill for everything else.

Is he older than you, how early a retirement is it?
I see where you’re coming from but he’s paying off the main bill, the mortgage, why can’t he have a year off?
did you have extended maternity leave when your kids were little?
I know it’s not the same thing, an I’m talking as someone that had about 8 months total for both my kids but I don’t think he’s being unreasonable.

Put your worry off for now about him going back to work down the road. At the nine month window perhaps start a conversation about future plans. As for childcare, surely he can help out a bit. You drop off he picks up etc. Children are work and he shouldn’t have a free pass on his responsibility as a parent. Dig your heels in on that one.

Can you both not just work part time?

Not read all but need to say... the money your dh is paying off the mortgage with is also your money... you are married so the money is joint.
So the bills will still come from the joint pot of money you both bring to the table every month.
Maybe paying your mortgage off isn't the best use of the lump sum.... have you taken advice? Or does dh decide everything?

And what do you mean he won't do school runs?? They're his children and if they need to get to school then it's partly his responsibility!!+

🙄🙄🙄😬😬😬

If he shoe was on the other foot and the woman was retiring and paying off the mortgage then there wiuld be a totally different reaction.
I would be ecstatic and extremely grateful that I don’t have to worry about a mortgage payment ever again.

there’s a £950 bill that she doesn’t need to pay every month, so expenses have gone down!

he’s retiring so I’m guessing his kids are not toddlers. I am so assuming that he’s happy to help around the house as per usual.

i don’t get that the issue is?

No. Ok, he's paid off the mortgage (so have I) but he still needs to contribute towards the bills. He's still using electric/gas/internet. He still has kids. I've paid my mortgage off but the bills get split evenly and I pay my share. Ridiculous situation that he's done his bit. He still lives there, bills still need to be paid.

He could pay you the £100 a month and then it is even, sounds like he's worked hard in a stressful job, that takes it's toll over time. I imagine if you had children you had an easy few years on mat leave, maybe even working pt and enjoying the kids while he did long hours, time for him to relax a little and enjoy himself. I wouldn't have an issue with this if my husband paid off the mortgage, he's still contributing what he would be paying each month so it makes no difference.

Are you wanting him to carry on working so you can work less? It isn't clear what you actually want?

That isn’t how a marriage works though. Or a family

To make this fair there would have to have been been enough left on the mortgage until either his normal retirement age or your retirement, whichever is sooner. So if he is retiring 12 years early he would need to have paid off 12 years of mortgage. After that 12 years you need to go back to 50/50

Maybd suggest he goes part time to fit in with his hobbies and could you reduce your hours to spend more time with him

just because he’s paid off his part of the “partnership” early doesn’t necessarily mean he’s not going to help around the house or with any children. If he’s retiring I’m guessing they’re not young.

id be ecstatic ! And very grateful that I never had to worry about a mortgage payment ever again!

Because she never has to worry about the mortgage again.

id be ecstatic!

Taking a year out will recharge his batteries, he is paying the mortgage off saving £900 a month,he could of spent his payoff on himself really but decided not to,you should be happy for him.

So OP should be very grateful that her DH has unilaterally decided he will use his pension lump sum to pay off the mortgage even though that doesn’t leave him enough to contribute to any further household expenses ? And that any pension he does get will fund his hobby ?

Meanwhile OP is left working 40+ hours a week indefinitely if he a) decides he doesn’t want to go back to work after a year (see previous stated intention to be a house husband). Or b) can’t find another job at the age of 56, having been out of the work for a year.

It’s not just a case of OP covering the other £1000 left after the mortage payment is eliminated, it’s that she will be responsible for every single financial matter that arises, including emergencies and unforeseen expenditure, holidays, food, their kids expenses and household repairs. It doesn’t seem as though they have savings they can fall back on and DH is the one who will benefit most from the mortgage being paid off because he’s the one giving up work. OP will carry on working regardless, funding the whole family. What exactly do you think she has to be grateful for. If her DH was single he couldn’t afford to retire or take a years’ sabbatical. OP’s willingness to be the sole earner is the only reason he can do it.

Why grateful? What ever happened to a partnership? Op looked after the children, housework, life admin etc which facilitated his career.

Came to say this exactly. Now he can be a stay at home househusband for a bit hopefully you enjoy your job and it’s fulfilling and it gets you out the house. He can stay home and do housey things on top of his hobbies.

He takes over looking after the home. As a man, I hope that is his plan, given his wife’s continued workload. There will be time for hobbies, once he has worked out his routine for housework. Ironing can - I am
told - be very relaxing. Machines have taken a lot of the physical effort out of housework.

Why should the OP be grateful, any more than he is grateful for her contribution?

I think you should be extremely grateful!

He’s paid his £1000 a month by paying off the mortgage and SHOULD be allowed to have time off to peruse his hobby!

you sound like you’re not a very nice person!

I think part of the problem is that he’s not just retiring from work. It appears that he thinks this year is for rest and relaxation, and expects op to continue to do the housework , cook, clean etc. In one post, op says she may still have to take annual leave to look after the school-age kids during the holidays, and do the school runs etc. He may not enjoy the school runs, and childcare, but that’s part and parcel of having kids.