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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Help with social services and CFA.

104 replies

TrishyLou1111 · 10/01/2026 00:14

My 17 year old daughter was sexually abused by a male in november 2025.
She was living with her nan at the time it happened and returned home a week later.
I immediately called the police and my DD stated she wanted to press charges. Legalities began and she did a video interview ect. Bail conditions put in place for this young man and investigation still ongoing.

I have 4 other children and I am currently pregnant. My question, why are social services doing a children's and families assessment? They've checked bedrooms, contacted schools etc etc, im obviously not concerned but I feel as though ive done something wrong? Like im the perpetrator.

Is this standard procedure? Or AIBU and completely stressed for no reason?

OP posts:
PollyBell · 10/01/2026 00:48

Same reason health visitors visit to check on new parents to make sure children are being cared for correctly and are not another statistic among the other never ending statistics

Original poster
TrishyLou1111 · 10/01/2026 00:37

She was living with nan due to the logistics of college and nans being closer to said college.

Im able to cope with my chikdren and havent has any SS involvement in 17 years of parenting so find this quite anxiety provoking.

Shes much better now shes settled back home. He is still at the college and my DD has been removed. Doesnt seem fair but shes looking for work now.

OP posts:
Whyhaveibeencutoutofmamsnot · 10/01/2026 00:23

Possibly so your DD can have a supportive team who can answer questions when it comes to court. The male involved will have a lawyer who will ask nasty questions and. make veiled accusations about DD and her private/family life.
Hope justice will be done without too much trauma

KissMyArt · 10/01/2026 00:20

Perhaps they thought the reason she was living with her nan was because you had too many children to cope with?

It sounds pretty par for the course to check out the whole family in a situation like that.

I hope your daughter is ok.