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Original poster

Nursery teachers snarky comment

861 replies

CheekyTealFawn · 09/01/2026 23:17

I’m livid, wondering whether to bring it up or just leave it if I’m overreacting.

DD is 2 yrs 9 month old, and just started nursery today. She’ll go 2 days per week, 7.30am-6.30pm.

I work two jobs (one evening and one Saturday per week), as I am studying 30 hours per week for my BA in English, which I do on my childcare days, in nap times, and every free evening I have. So, I could really use every minute of help I can get.

I dropped DD off at 8.30am no problems. When I go to pick her up, I get there at 6.20pm. I see I have two missed calls from the nursery. I ask why they called, worried, and the manager laughed and said “because we want to go home.” I was confused, and said “oh, I’m so sorry, I thought pick up was before 6.30?” And she pulled a face and said “yes, but it’s Friday and your daughter is the last one here, and she has been waiting and asking for you and wondering why she is the only one”

All of the staff had their hats and coats on waiting by the door when I arrived. DD was also sat by the door with her hat and coat on looking out the window waiting for me. it’s made me feel like the worst mum, and extremely embarrassed as I felt like the staff were all looking at and judging me. My daughter loved her first day, seems very happy there, but I don’t know whether to say something to the manager about it?

I understand it’s Friday and of course the staff want to go home, but I didn’t initially want Fridays, but they made me pick that day since it was quieter and we’re only part time, to make room for more full time children on the other days .

i don’t know what I’d say, and I don’t know if mum guilt at leaving my daughter there last is making me more sensitive, but now I’m anxious to leave her there until 6.20, even though I could really use it since I’m constantly playing catch up with my university work because I’m forever lagging behind due to not being able to afford enough childcare.

am I being sensitive? Should I say something? If so, what?

OP posts:
Original poster
CheekyTealFawn · 09/01/2026 23:50

Sometimeswinning · 09/01/2026 23:44

I’d stick to posters offering you advice on your situation. Not those who dislike your choices. You’re bettering yourself for your family. You don’t need to explain or excuse your choices. Otherwise you’ll end up with a pile on.

Show quote history

Thanks so much for this. I’m doing the best I can with a difficult situation. I eventually want to get a job to support my family properly, hence why I started uni. I could put her in childcare 3 days per week, which is how much I need to be able to do all my work, but instead I am doing 2 so I can have 3 days with her, and then finishing the remaining 8-10 hours in the evening

OP posts:
daffodilandtulip · 09/01/2026 23:48

Bryonyberries · 09/01/2026 23:44

You can only claim funding for a max of 10 hours on one day so this child’s hours will be over that.

Show quote history

True but the OP said 8:30-18:30 today. She needs to clarify which hour she’s paying for when she does a longer day…

m00rfarm · 09/01/2026 23:47

I was not aware that shops closed earlier than advertised on a Friday, even though people working there have families. I have never noticed people working in shops putting their coats on before their shifts have finished. I never left my office early on a Friday just because I wanted to go home. Extremely unprofessional and it is irrelevant people saying you left her there too long - that is not what is being discussed. Poor behaviour and I would definitely bring it up with the owner. If her staff want to go home early on a Friday then she needs to be at the nursery to cover them.

Dietday · 09/01/2026 23:46

Email them for clarification regarding your hours.
They insisted on friday and on the first day implied that she shouldn't be there for her full funded hours.
Ask for clarification and state that you need to be able to use the hours for your work.
Ask for thursday again if THEY have a problem.
So unprofessional.
If they don't wish to be open until 6.30 on a friday they need to be honest about it and not be calling you and stressing you.

CranberryCandyCane · 09/01/2026 23:46

Cocomelon67 · 09/01/2026 23:33

It’s really not on that they made your daughter feel like you were late. I would tell them that you would appreciate them playing with her until normal pick up time because otherwise she will understandably be more likely to get upset.

This is the biggest problem although their comment was uncalled for too considering you weren’t late. Even older children get anxious about being the last one. Yes it’s okay for them to get her belongings ready, but there should have been enough staff for at least one person to continue playing with her. Even if it’s just a game that takes seconds to tidy up or reading a story together.

Many children are in childcare, ignore the PPs who are questioning your need to use it.

Original poster
CheekyTealFawn · 09/01/2026 23:46

PurpleFlower1983 · 09/01/2026 23:41

I don’t think the hats and coats were out of line but the phone call was. That said, I hate it when my kids are last to be picked up and that’s a very long day for a 2 year old who’s just started bless her. Is your English degree 30 hours at University?! Times have changed, mine was 6 hours per week actually allocated to lectures/seminars.

Maybe I should’ve clarified, she went to a childminder until she closed before Christmas from 8am-5pm, so it’s not really that unusual for her. It’s because I do open university, it is 90% self taught, one 1 hour lecture per week, and multiple assignments per month no

OP posts:
Clefable · 09/01/2026 23:45

YANBU, OP. If they are open till 6:30 then they have to expect parents will pick up any time up until then. Otherwise they should change their hours and close earlier.

Sometimes DD2 has been last one there on a Friday as they don’t have as many kids in and Friday is our later pick-up day, but we’ve never been made to feel like an inconvenience.

I can’t see where OP was asking for advice on her childcare arrangements generally so not sure why that’s being offered.

I would email saying she enjoyed her first day and then just saying could they clarify times as you were under the impression they were open till 6:30, which you need for childcare; but you were being called before that time and it seemed like staff were anxious to get away.

Sometimeswinning · 09/01/2026 23:44

CheekyTealFawn · 09/01/2026 23:42

It’s open university, which is basically all self taught! There are tutorials but they’re not very good, they just do bullet points of whatever you read in the textbooks. I have an overdue assignment I had to extend multiple times with the deadline this Monday, as I’ve had no childcare since before Christmas so today and Sunday evening is my last hope to finish it!

Show quote history

I’d stick to posters offering you advice on your situation. Not those who dislike your choices. You’re bettering yourself for your family. You don’t need to explain or excuse your choices. Otherwise you’ll end up with a pile on.

Bryonyberries · 09/01/2026 23:44

daffodilandtulip · 09/01/2026 23:34

Do you get the funded hours? Because they have to be quite accurate. If they're demanding an early pick up regularly, they're on dodgy grounds with their claim...

You can only claim funding for a max of 10 hours on one day so this child’s hours will be over that.

ShetlandishMum · 09/01/2026 23:44

TwoSaturdays · 09/01/2026 23:23

No, you agreed to Friday, understood it’s till 6.30 and have paid accordingly. They’re out of order. Speak to the manager or owner.

This!

(I would like to go home now btw but I am paid to 7am)

Original poster
CheekyTealFawn · 09/01/2026 23:42

Mathsdebator · 09/01/2026 23:40

My mistake, 10 hours is still crazy for a first proper day.

30 hours a week for a BA? Surely that's hours you're choosing to study rather than taught time?

It’s open university, which is basically all self taught! There are tutorials but they’re not very good, they just do bullet points of whatever you read in the textbooks. I have an overdue assignment I had to extend multiple times with the deadline this Monday, as I’ve had no childcare since before Christmas so today and Sunday evening is my last hope to finish it!

OP posts:
PurpleFlower1983 · 09/01/2026 23:41

I don’t think the hats and coats were out of line but the phone call was. That said, I hate it when my kids are last to be picked up and that’s a very long day for a 2 year old who’s just started bless her. Is your English degree 30 hours at University?! Times have changed, mine was 6 hours per week actually allocated to lectures/seminars.

Bryonyberries · 09/01/2026 23:40

Do you need her there until 6.30? For work or due to studying at home?

It is a long day and very few children of that age are in care until so late. She may well the only one there until that time. The staff will probably have got her ready as many children picked up at that time are over tired and do play parents up not cooperating to get ready. Staff may have been there since 7am and have families too and want a swift pick up, not the child hunting for socks!

However, if they are paid to be there until that time and you aren’t late they should be polite and still give you a run down of her day.

Mathsdebator · 09/01/2026 23:40

My mistake, 10 hours is still crazy for a first proper day.

30 hours a week for a BA? Surely that's hours you're choosing to study rather than taught time?

Original poster
CheekyTealFawn · 09/01/2026 23:38

tedibear · 09/01/2026 23:35

That’s totally unprofessional. I’d let them know at drop off that’s when you’ll be arriving back for her so they don’t need to call u to check. Cheeky bastards to be honest!

I do remember once picking my daughter up and she was the only one left and it made me feel awful. It wasn’t even that late maybe 25 mins to closing. To be fair though she was probably getting more attention than normal and staff member was just holding her chatting to someone when I went in. They wouldn’t have dared said anything so rude.

Oh that’s so nice that they were just continuing as normal! I think the snarkiness I wouldn’t have minded as much if they weren’t all lined up by the door in coats waiting for me as though I was late

OP posts:
Original poster
CheekyTealFawn · 09/01/2026 23:37

daffodilandtulip · 09/01/2026 23:34

Do you get the funded hours? Because they have to be quite accurate. If they're demanding an early pick up regularly, they're on dodgy grounds with their claim...

Yes we do! Oh really? I didn’t know that

OP posts:
Original poster
CheekyTealFawn · 09/01/2026 23:36

Mathsdebator · 09/01/2026 23:34

It was a bit shit of them but she did 11 hours on her first day? That's a bit shit on her, I'd not have done that unless I was actually working and couldn't avoid it

I was at university, until 5.30 and unavoidable. I avoided 11 hours by dropping her off an hour later than normal drop off time, and she has had 4 settling in sessions this week. It was her first official day, not first time amongst completely random people she’s never met.

OP posts:
tedibear · 09/01/2026 23:35

That’s totally unprofessional. I’d let them know at drop off that’s when you’ll be arriving back for her so they don’t need to call u to check. Cheeky bastards to be honest!

I do remember once picking my daughter up and she was the only one left and it made me feel awful. It wasn’t even that late maybe 25 mins to closing. To be fair though she was probably getting more attention than normal and staff member was just holding her chatting to someone when I went in. They wouldn’t have dared said anything so rude.

daffodilandtulip · 09/01/2026 23:34

Do you get the funded hours? Because they have to be quite accurate. If they're demanding an early pick up regularly, they're on dodgy grounds with their claim...

Original poster
CheekyTealFawn · 09/01/2026 23:34

Cocomelon67 · 09/01/2026 23:33

It’s really not on that they made your daughter feel like you were late. I would tell them that you would appreciate them playing with her until normal pick up time because otherwise she will understandably be more likely to get upset.

I thought that. She’s so young but I thought god what if she feels abandoned like I’m late or something

OP posts:
Mathsdebator · 09/01/2026 23:34

It was a bit shit of them but she did 11 hours on her first day? That's a bit shit on her, I'd not have done that unless I was actually working and couldn't avoid it

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 09/01/2026 23:34

They are out of order to hassle you before pick up time.

Original poster
CheekyTealFawn · 09/01/2026 23:33

Northerngirl821 · 09/01/2026 23:32

Eleven hours is a LONG day for her in childcare though, especially if she’s the only one there at the end of the day.

I agree, I don’t like it either, but they don’t do half days, minimum 2 full days per week, and I have 30 hours of university I’ve somehow got to fit around being a mum on the other 3 days and 2 jobs. It’s not ideal but it’s the only way I can make anything work

OP posts:
CinnamonBuns67 · 09/01/2026 23:33

Yes I would say something to the nursery manager or the owner, if you've paid until 6.30 you are entitled to show up to pick DD on time, not turn up early so they can go home early because it's Friday. It's unprofessional and rude of them.

Cocomelon67 · 09/01/2026 23:33

It’s really not on that they made your daughter feel like you were late. I would tell them that you would appreciate them playing with her until normal pick up time because otherwise she will understandably be more likely to get upset.