Nursery teachers snarky comment

I think this is very well toned. I'd send this.

Honestly, I'd find a different nursery. I could swallow them being a bit arsey with me by speaking to their manager, but they made your toddler worry that you were late. I couldn't get past that, poor little kid.

My youngest is occasionally the last child picked up from nursery (his elder brother has medical appointments that make it unavailable). He loves it. His nursery workers tell him he's their special helper because he's so helpful and get him involved with clearing up. On other occasions I've seen him say in the cosy corner with one member of staff reading a story whilst the others get sorted. I've no problem with them prepping so they can leave as soon as nursery shuts, but there's never a reason to make the last children feel worried or unwelcome.

I would give them one more chance and if the same thing happens again on a Friday afternoon, I would speak to the manager, pointing out that you are picking up 10 mins before closing time and that the staff are unnecessarily upsetting your daughter by the coats and hats charade.

What could be worse than complaining about someone who is ALONE. with your FOOD for any length of time.....????????
.. Answers on a postcard to HELL.

I’d be giving them a less than polite reminder of how much you are paying for this placement. Cheeky buggers. And they should not be sitting with coats on sending the message to your child that they’ve been forgotten. They should be constructively engaging her and making her feel welcome for the entire time she is there. Strong words with the manager I think.

I’d complain to management. Cheeky fuckers.

I’d also be looking to move nursery tbh. They sound like they are more concerned clocking off a bit early than preventing a two year becoming upset before pick up, putting their selfish needs above hers. They should have been playing a game with her or something to distract her. It’s irrelevant if they feel it’s a long day for her - the nursery offers those hours and they are paid to work those hours.

It sounds to me like they are absolute chancers who have pulled this move on many parents and some now also pick up earlier as a result. I also think they perhaps see you as someone they can manipulate since they got you to do a Friday too as it’s quieter.

Oh have a day off.

I would put in a complaint Your paying them to care for her until 6:30. You picked her up 10 minutes before that anyway so they’ve no reason to be calling you asking where you were. I’d be asking how long had she been sat there like that waiting they should still have been playing with her when you arrived and definitely not having a dig thats completely out of order and unprofessional I’ve worked in two nurseries and if i behaved like that i’d have been sacked.
Say to her can i just check it is actually 6:30 you close and and not 6 or whatever time they started calling you at. If having her until that time is too much trouble i will see if another nursery can accommodate her. What i saw when i arrived 10 minutes early looked very unprofessional and the way i was spoken to seemed very rude and unfair as were the two attempted calls asking where i was especially since you were getting paid despite you all just standing around with your coats on rather than interacting with my daughter i’d want to know how long they’d had her coat and stuff on instead of her being free to play.

I realise this isn't the point of the thread but I just have to agree about the OU being harder than bricks and mortar. I did it the other way round from the OP. Two years OU and then bricks and mortar. The latter was a doddle compared to OU both in terms of time and support.

Im not sure where i stand on the hats and coats because I wouldnt want a child to feel anxious.

My childs nursery states clearly that you must arrive to collect at least 10mins before closure to allow you time to speak to staff about what your child did for the day and pack up any coats etc. The staff are paid to, and leave at the time of closure so its not fair on them if parents are arriving at 6pm for example if thats when the nursery officially shuts as they would need to stay open later effectively to accommodate you. Im not sure if thats normal - i just assumed it was.

Not ideal but maybe better to swap to another provider as likely they will (unless you pay enough to cover 2 staff wages) change their opening times, as it’s not financially viable for them.

If nursery aren't 'on board' with children going there for the hours they state they are available then it is on them to change those hours.

Why does that sound like a sly dig? Was that intentional?

It doesn't matter if Open University is a mickey mouse degree or not, OP is paying for childcare and was even asked to pick a Friday by the nursery.
If pick up time needs to in reality be by 6pm on a Friday, this should be communicated and she should be charged accordingly.

Your childcare is paid up until 6.30 therefore you weren't late. The staff had no right to make you feel like you were just because they wanted to piss off home early. They're paid for those hours. It's sly of them to expect you to pick up your daughter early just because they don't want to work the full hours they're paid to do. You don't need to feel that kind of guilt. Plenty of parents work and have to use childcare to cover their hours before and after school. My own daughter is 9 and I have to use breakfast and after school clubs so some days she's in school from 7.30am right up until 6pm but without that childcare I can't work. You're using childcare to work and get an education it's nothing to feel guilt for

Christ there are some horrible people on this thread.

i don’t have children but picked my nephew up from daycare regularly. A woman gave me a lecture once, telling me my sister was always there before 5pm and I was really very late - she was incredibly rude about it. My sister paid until 6pm, it was a quarter to six. She said my nephew was getting bored as his classmates had been picked up and they had had to entertain him

I didn’t have the parental guilt she was trying the take advantage of. I took out my phone, called up their opening hours and showed it to her. I explained that she was clearly confused about the opening hours of the business, and the contracts the parents entered into must not have been fully explained to her. I offered to speak to her manager to ensure she was adequately trained going forward. She was sulky but she got the message!

OP ignore the nonsense spouted by some on this thread. The behaviour of the nursery was rude and unprofessional.

And some people have no choice because it’s that or no food.

Having worked in a nursery for many years I can safely say if they are open until 6:30 they should absolutely not be calling you to collect early and waiting by the door with her dressed ready to go. This is very unprofessional and I would put an official complaint in through email so it’s on record.

from their side I would just let them know that this will be a regular pick up time due to your situation. However they are often only paid until 6:30 and no later. I’ve often had to stay on late for a late pick up and not given overtime / time off in lieu. I advised parents to make sure they arrive by 6:25 so a proper handover could be given. But I definitely wouldn’t be calling their parents and getting them ready in advance x

Completely unacceptable from them. My husband does nursery pick up on a Friday and gets to the nursery straight from work 5 minutes before closing. If they ever said anything to us I’d be taking it as far as I could.

YANBU and you're doing a great bloody job of trying to better your life for you and your daughter. It isn't easy. I'd keep looking for alternative childcare. They'll probably do this every time.

Mumsnet never fails to shock me 🤣🤣 the average working week for someone working full time is 37.5hrs. WFH has only become systematically available for most for the past 6 years and a lot of people can’t exclusively work from home (teachers, anyone who works in a hospital to name a few) - I also can’t understand how @N4ish and others are incredulous about children being in nursery this long - if everyone only did half days then the nursery wouldn’t be open those hours would they ?

I do think it’s such a shame that on a forum for parents we can’t all be a bit more understanding even if we haven’t been directly in the same shoes as others. Some of the comments on here

“10 hrs is such a long day for a child of that age”, “surely you can work when she’s asleep”
“I would defer my studies until my children were older”
“why have children to put them into childcare” -

would be controversial if the thread was actually about the benefits / negatives of putting your child in childcare but it’s not and the PPs know this - they clearly want to kick a mum down when she’s already said she’s feeling mum guilt. I’m sure this only ever happens online.
Perhaps I’m lucky but my friendship group is filled of women mid30s to early 40s - some who work full time, part time, flexi, wfh, in office and some SAHM and we all appreciate that whilst parenting looks different for all of us we all have our own “hard” and we’re able to support each other through that despite having different experiences.

as I’ve said before @CheekyTealFawn - you’re doing a great job. Wouldn’t throw baby out with bath water and pull her out of nursery just yet but definitely have a word and see what happens - it might just be a shock for them having to work their working hours if they haven’t before 🤣 but phone calls 9 mins before isn’t on

At the end of the day, she's booked until 6.30pm and you pay until 6.30pm. Yes, she may be the last child collected, but someone has to be. It isn't appropriate for them to call unless she's ill, there's adverse weather conditions etc. that could cause problems for anyone getting home. I would suggest sending an email to the Manager, asking whether there is going to be an issue with fulfilling the full time on a Friday, as if so is a change of day possible. I would probably add "as i don't want to inconvenience your staff's weekend plans", but I can be a bit sarcastic and snarky with things like this 😂

15 years ago, my DD was often the last baby in the room because I just didn't get back until then. There was always someone chatting or playing with her though. When she was about 10 months old, I found her sat in the office on the managers knee, happily messing up her paperwork so that the other staff could close up the rooms. I suspect they are snarky because they know you're at home. It shouldn't make any difference though.

I'd honestly find somewhere else she will be with other kids and where there are not staff tapping their feet when you arrive on time. Perhaps a childminder with a young family? My first childminder had kids of her own who doted on DD1 when she was small and she was never unhappy to go there. Childminder was a nanny before she had her own kids and they were used to always having mindees.

Ah, OP, I wish you weren't being made to feel like you have to give reasons for your childcare needs. How long or how often your dc is at nursery is not the point of your op (and nursery were bang out of order) so why people feel the need to comment on that is just bonkers. You do what you need to do, dc will be absolutely fine.