Nursery teachers snarky comment

I’m livid, wondering whether to bring it up or just leave it if I’m overreacting.

DD is 2 yrs 9 month old, and just started nursery today. She’ll go 2 days per week, 7.30am-6.30pm.

I work two jobs (one evening and one Saturday per week), as I am studying 30 hours per week for my BA in English, which I do on my childcare days, in nap times, and every free evening I have. So, I could really use every minute of help I can get.

I dropped DD off at 8.30am no problems. When I go to pick her up, I get there at 6.20pm. I see I have two missed calls from the nursery. I ask why they called, worried, and the manager laughed and said “because we want to go home.” I was confused, and said “oh, I’m so sorry, I thought pick up was before 6.30?” And she pulled a face and said “yes, but it’s Friday and your daughter is the last one here, and she has been waiting and asking for you and wondering why she is the only one”

All of the staff had their hats and coats on waiting by the door when I arrived. DD was also sat by the door with her hat and coat on looking out the window waiting for me. it’s made me feel like the worst mum, and extremely embarrassed as I felt like the staff were all looking at and judging me. My daughter loved her first day, seems very happy there, but I don’t know whether to say something to the manager about it?

I understand it’s Friday and of course the staff want to go home, but I didn’t initially want Fridays, but they made me pick that day since it was quieter and we’re only part time, to make room for more full time children on the other days .

i don’t know what I’d say, and I don’t know if mum guilt at leaving my daughter there last is making me more sensitive, but now I’m anxious to leave her there until 6.20, even though I could really use it since I’m constantly playing catch up with my university work because I’m forever lagging behind due to not being able to afford enough childcare.

am I being sensitive? Should I say something? If so, what?

@GotStrands

oh and 5pm isn’t pretty late, you do know a lot of jobs don’t even finish until at least 5pm?

Have you ever had a job?

@GotStrands

she has work to do. And even if she didn’t, what’s so wrong with getting your moneys worth??

I beg your pardon?!? I’m not shaming OP for doing a degree if you read my comment again! I’m suggesting that her timing isn’t working based her OWN comments about the timings being tough and her being forced into 11 hours at nursery. Nothing to do with the sodding 1950s! Your reading comprehension needs work…

My mistake, 10 hours is still crazy for a first proper day.

30 hours a week for a BA? Surely that's hours you're choosing to study rather than taught time?

I don’t mean this nastily and I’m 100% with you on the nursery’s abhorrent behaviour btw - just awful! - but, from your reply to this comment, it sounds to me like you’ve taken too much on and your DD is having to pay the price here. 11 hours is way too long for any child, let alone a 2 year old. Take this as a sign that your timing for this is not right. I’d postpone your course a year or 2.

The 1950s are calling and want to welcome you back to the dark ages

Christ there are some horrible people on this thread.

i don’t have children but picked my nephew up from daycare regularly. A woman gave me a lecture once, telling me my sister was always there before 5pm and I was really very late - she was incredibly rude about it. My sister paid until 6pm, it was a quarter to six. She said my nephew was getting bored as his classmates had been picked up and they had had to entertain him

I didn’t have the parental guilt she was trying the take advantage of. I took out my phone, called up their opening hours and showed it to her. I explained that she was clearly confused about the opening hours of the business, and the contracts the parents entered into must not have been fully explained to her. I offered to speak to her manager to ensure she was adequately trained going forward. She was sulky but she got the message!

OP ignore the nonsense spouted by some on this thread. The behaviour of the nursery was rude and unprofessional.

@GotStrands

she has work to do. And even if she didn’t, what’s so wrong with getting your moneys worth??

5pm is still pretty late, some would say. Why didn’t you try and collect your child earlier? Were you trying to get your money’s worth?

She’s now said multiple times she doesn’t feel guilty so no need to lament for her

I saw my dad more but as a girl would have needed a close relationship with my mum. But she had an important career.

As a sahm you can actively help your children with their learning so that they can have careers. But I will tell them to think twice about having children themselves if they plan not to see them very often.

I am hugely pro nursery for toddlers and both my children were in nursery 4 days a week from the age of 1. I still think 11 hours is far too long for a 2 year old and I would do absolutely anything in my power to avoid having a child of mine have that long a day.

Our nursery day finished at 6pm and we had to pay until then but still always collected our children by 5pm at the latest. I don't understand parents who have to get their last penny out of nursery by leaving their children in until the final minute.

How is this helpful?! This mum is doing her best, she works, she studies, she is raising a child! All, as far as I can gather, with no other hell than that nursery! Where her daughter only goes for two days. They made her change the days she needed, so they can make more money from full-time kids. Also, closing times for parents should not be the same as closing/leaving time for staff! This poor mum feels guilty enough as it is, without comments like yours making it worse!

Tbh we pay til 6 and I always go for 5 and I’m always surprised when friends have their kids in til 630, feels very late. However, you pay for it so they should be expecting you at 630 unless you tell them otherwise. They should be making sure daughter knows you’ll be ‘on time’ and all is well.

I saw my dad more but as a girl would have needed a close relationship with my mum. But she had an important career.

As a sahm you can actively help your children with their learning so that they can have careers. But I will tell them to think twice about having children themselves if they plan not to see them very often.

A "bit of structured play" is great for children 2+. In my book "a bit" doesn't equal 11 hours.

"Girls who see their mum have careers are more likely to have one"
That totally depends on how much time is left for the child. I hardly saw my mum and suffered from it which made me become a sahm. So inversed.

I’m livid, wondering whether to bring it up or just leave it if I’m overreacting.

DD is 2 yrs 9 month old, and just started nursery today. She’ll go 2 days per week, 7.30am-6.30pm.

I work two jobs (one evening and one Saturday per week), as I am studying 30 hours per week for my BA in English, which I do on my childcare days, in nap times, and every free evening I have. So, I could really use every minute of help I can get.

I dropped DD off at 8.30am no problems. When I go to pick her up, I get there at 6.20pm. I see I have two missed calls from the nursery. I ask why they called, worried, and the manager laughed and said “because we want to go home.” I was confused, and said “oh, I’m so sorry, I thought pick up was before 6.30?” And she pulled a face and said “yes, but it’s Friday and your daughter is the last one here, and she has been waiting and asking for you and wondering why she is the only one”

All of the staff had their hats and coats on waiting by the door when I arrived. DD was also sat by the door with her hat and coat on looking out the window waiting for me. it’s made me feel like the worst mum, and extremely embarrassed as I felt like the staff were all looking at and judging me. My daughter loved her first day, seems very happy there, but I don’t know whether to say something to the manager about it?

I understand it’s Friday and of course the staff want to go home, but I didn’t initially want Fridays, but they made me pick that day since it was quieter and we’re only part time, to make room for more full time children on the other days .

i don’t know what I’d say, and I don’t know if mum guilt at leaving my daughter there last is making me more sensitive, but now I’m anxious to leave her there until 6.20, even though I could really use it since I’m constantly playing catch up with my university work because I’m forever lagging behind due to not being able to afford enough childcare.

am I being sensitive? Should I say something? If so, what?