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AIBU?

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Original poster

Not feeding a child who is at your house for a play date …

159 replies

ElatedAzurePlayer · 09/01/2026 21:03

A friend shared something with me that genuinely surprised me, and I’m curious how others see it.

Her daughter went on a play date after school (aged 11) and when she was picked up later she asked if they could get drive-thru on the way home. It turned out the family had ordered a Deliveroo takeaway for their own dinner but hadn’t included anything for her.

I can’t quite wrap my head around it. If I have a child in my home around mealtime, I’d always offer them food or assume they’d be eating with us especially if I’d invited them!

Is this just my way of doing things, or do other families handle this differently? I am not a judgmental person - but AIBU to judge this family for such shitty behaviour towards my friends daughter?!

OP posts:
BeardOToots · 09/01/2026 21:11

Ok, I’ve definitely seen this thread before 🤣

Original poster
ElatedAzurePlayer · 09/01/2026 21:11

Applespearsandpeaches · 09/01/2026 21:09

Assuming they were invited I would always feed a person of any age at my house at a mealtime. I guess maybe not the kids from nearby who just knock on each others doors and casually roam between each other’s houses, but in that circumstance I’d just tell them we’re eating, time to go home. I wouldn’t just eat a takeaway in front of a hungry kid who had nothing!

Exactly this. But it was an actual ‘play date’ I’ve seen the messages between my friend and the other girls mum - I just don’t understand at all why you’d eat a takeaway in front of a child you’d invited over to play with yours ?

OP posts:
titchy · 09/01/2026 21:10

Same. Ds was in the same position many (many!) years ago. The dad hadn’t realised that was what you do and the mum phoned me later absolutely mortified ds hadn’t had anything except a glass of juice and a packet or crisps! I don’t think he ever did that again Grin

Original poster
ElatedAzurePlayer · 09/01/2026 21:09

Moonnstarz · 09/01/2026 21:08

That's really weird that they didn't offer her food too, or to have said before hand that was the plan if they didn't want the child staying or if they wanted the parents to contribute to the cost.

Very weird.

OP posts:
Applespearsandpeaches · 09/01/2026 21:09

Assuming they were invited I would always feed a person of any age at my house at a mealtime. I guess maybe not the kids from nearby who just knock on each others doors and casually roam between each other’s houses, but in that circumstance I’d just tell them we’re eating, time to go home. I wouldn’t just eat a takeaway in front of a hungry kid who had nothing!

Original poster
ElatedAzurePlayer · 09/01/2026 21:08

ny20005 · 09/01/2026 21:06

So they invited the child & did they set a time for pick up or was it vague ? I don’t see how that’s reasonable unless your friend was really late picking her up

Yes it was prearranged and she had been invited.

OP posts:
Moonnstarz · 09/01/2026 21:08

That's really weird that they didn't offer her food too, or to have said before hand that was the plan if they didn't want the child staying or if they wanted the parents to contribute to the cost.

Original poster
ElatedAzurePlayer · 09/01/2026 21:07

ny20005 · 09/01/2026 21:06

So they invited the child & did they set a time for pick up or was it vague ? I don’t see how that’s reasonable unless your friend was really late picking her up

She went straight from school and was picked up at 7pm by her mum as agreed. If it were me, I’d assume dinner would be provided.

OP posts:
ny20005 · 09/01/2026 21:06

So they invited the child & did they set a time for pick up or was it vague ? I don’t see how that’s reasonable unless your friend was really late picking her up

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