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Original poster

Husband doesn't want another baby

65 replies

Cpmumx · 09/01/2026 20:30

Just looking for some advice here. Me & my husband have a beautiful 2yr old boy which is just an amazing blessing. I always thought I would have 2 babies but my husband doesn't want another one. We always said we would have two but we realize the struggles financially. The only reason my husband doesn't want another one is due to financial reasons & me being off for 9 months maternity. We both work & have good jobs but we want to provide an amazing life for our son. I understand my husbands point but I am so heartbroken at the thought of not having another baby. I feel like I have no one to talk to about it. Do you ever get over this heart break? I always see post of people not regretting having another baby but regretting NOT having one and I just can't stop thinking about it. How do people get over this? FYI I do not want to split from my husband & completely get his reasons,, just want to know if I will move past this or I will resent him later on in life?

OP posts:
SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 09/01/2026 21:20

Cpmumx · 09/01/2026 21:02

He said he has heard it hurts and just doesn't want one. No actual reason. I think this is unreasonable!

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I think its fine for him to do what he wants with his body but you should be clear you get to do what you want with yours.

So I'd be really upfront now
"If you dont want a child and wont take responsibility for that by having a vasectomy... what happens if despite pill/condoms etc I got pregnant - how do you see that playing out?"

Let him stumble over telling you have expect you to get an abortion....

Then Id be really clear if I got pregnant i would 100% be keeping it even if it ended the marriage and he should know that info in advance when deciding that he does want to remain a 1 child but doesnt want to bother taking any of the necessary precautions to ensure that actually happens as he "heard a vasectomy is painful"

beAsensible1 · 09/01/2026 21:18

It’s not unreasonable to not want one. It’s not needed unless he’s insisting on being unprotected.

beAsensible1 · 09/01/2026 21:16

Cpmumx · 09/01/2026 20:38

"EDIT" he is Totally against having the snip even thought he doesn't want another child.

Edited
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So use condoms, why does he need a vasectomy ?

Lifejigsaw · 09/01/2026 21:12

I don’t think that’s unreasonable - it’s his body.

Cherrytree86 · 09/01/2026 21:05

Cpmumx · 09/01/2026 20:38

"EDIT" he is Totally against having the snip even thought he doesn't want another child.

Edited
Show quote history

thats fine. Can just use condoms. I know on mumsnet a lot of women think that men won’t want to do that and so will relent to having another child, but in real life it rarely happens.

Original poster
Cpmumx · 09/01/2026 21:02

Lifejigsaw · 09/01/2026 20:58

What’s his reasoning for no snip? @Cpmumx

He said he has heard it hurts and just doesn't want one. No actual reason. I think this is unreasonable!

OP posts:
Original poster
Cpmumx · 09/01/2026 21:01

sausagedog2000 · 09/01/2026 20:59

Why doesn’t he want a vasectomy if he doesn’t want any more kids?

He heard it's hurts & just doesn't want one, which I think is unreasonable.

OP posts:
Original poster
Cpmumx · 09/01/2026 21:00

He's heard it's hurts and he just doesn't want to do it. Which I think is unreasonable

OP posts:
sausagedog2000 · 09/01/2026 20:59

Why doesn’t he want a vasectomy if he doesn’t want any more kids?

Lifejigsaw · 09/01/2026 20:58

What’s his reasoning for no snip? @Cpmumx

Sometimeswinning · 09/01/2026 20:51

I wanted my third and it was all I could think about in the end. Every argument was to do with this. I couldn’t help it. Eventually it would have ruined us. Dh, one day just said let’s have one more!

For me it was the best thing ever. I felt done after number 3.

Original poster
Cpmumx · 09/01/2026 20:38

Cpmumx · 09/01/2026 20:30

Just looking for some advice here. Me & my husband have a beautiful 2yr old boy which is just an amazing blessing. I always thought I would have 2 babies but my husband doesn't want another one. We always said we would have two but we realize the struggles financially. The only reason my husband doesn't want another one is due to financial reasons & me being off for 9 months maternity. We both work & have good jobs but we want to provide an amazing life for our son. I understand my husbands point but I am so heartbroken at the thought of not having another baby. I feel like I have no one to talk to about it. Do you ever get over this heart break? I always see post of people not regretting having another baby but regretting NOT having one and I just can't stop thinking about it. How do people get over this? FYI I do not want to split from my husband & completely get his reasons,, just want to know if I will move past this or I will resent him later on in life?

"EDIT" he is Totally against having the snip even thought he doesn't want another child.

OP posts:
NewYearNewMee · 09/01/2026 20:37

People regret having more, people regret having none. It’s easy to say it’s as much your choice as it is his - however the one who doesn’t want the child gets preference imo. Financials is a valid reason, especially with the way the world is going. It’s fair enough if you both want to talk around your choices and try to see the other persons point of view, but there has to be a point of acceptance! Is he willing to take control of family planning eg the snip?

My friend said the same as you, they had a second, then a third - she’s now still broody and convinced nothing will be the same without a fourth 😂 Bless her but I think some people just don’t feel “done”.

PurpleCyclamen · 09/01/2026 20:34

If it’s any consolation that feeling of broodiness would probably remain even if you had a second.
My neighbour is 80 and says she would really, really love another baby.

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 09/01/2026 20:33

Is it solely financial or does he not enjoy it?l and so is like "ooooh money"

If its solely financial I would make a financial plan to show how it could work.

We are high earners and my dh went slightly doolally when I was pregnant and was really really weird about minor things (turning lights off, throwing out a tib with 15p of potato salad in etc) it was making me cry a lot and he'd get angry/ annoyed/ sad
when we got down to it he felt almost suffocated by his perceived financial pressure of 2 kids.

I made a spreadsheet (hes avoidant) and proved we could afford it and it made him much more relaxed.