To find it hard to care about men's issues

I agree with you OP. From a practical standpoint though I don't think that having a war of the sexes is useful and making people pay reparations for their bad behaviour never, ever, works to make them stop it. Especially if they are physically stronger than you.

With respect that’s a ridiculous statement.

im a male firstly. Andy’s man club was set up to deal with the issue of male suicide.

I don’t want to give too much away here. The local group to me stemmed out of the death of a young man in his early thirties who committed suicide. It broke how social circle and family. The charity are trying to save lives

They say that AI is coming for the jobs in the knowledge economy. And I've heard statistics like the world needs a squillion more electricians, binmen, builders and plumbers.

Basically all the jobs women have succeeded in and allowed us to move into equal footing with men... are going to disappear.

And all the jobs men are good at - actually making things using hard, heavy work etc. are have a resurgence. So there's hope for the poor dears yet!

Seriously though, there are definitely a few things I worry about and do acknowledge might make it hard for a young man to navigate this world, but (a) they pale into insignificance compared to what women have put up with for literally millennia (and still do in many parts of the world), and (b) I still think - and have done my best to teach my son - that it's not that hard to be a good man.

Work hard, apply yourself, face challenge head on, learn from your mistakes, have hobbies and interests (that preferably involve fixing or making things!), respect women, avoid vice... basically the same things that have always made masculinity great. And when it comes to finding a mate, well these are the things women find attractive in men and they haven't changed.

Yes, there are some angry women on this thread. Do you have any idea why they are angry?

I agree-it would be better if we all cared about each other’s issues. However, we have years of evidence to show that men (as a class-of course there are individuals who think differently) do not care about women’s issues. So women are naturally wary.

There are some very angry women on this thread. Empathy is a two way street.

Their heads will really explode when AI wipes out all their work opportunities then! Even more women will be murdered then!

its not unique to men. Care about your sons all you like but by saying what you said it makes it look like ONLY men struggle with suicidal ideation and it’s not true. More women than men attempt suicide but you’re the second poster to effectively try and sweep that under the rug. Women aren’t allowed to talk about it because it makes men look less important and we can’t have that, can we?

It's okay for you not to care about men's issues - as long as you are okay with them not caring about women's issues.

I rather think the world would be in a better state if both cared about each other's problems.

Yes I am, it’s up to you how you feel.

I don’t really care about men’s issues. I care about my dad who is brilliant and always has been. I have no brothers or sons. I have some lovely nephews but suspect one won’t be the best partner, I have an uncle who’s been violent to his wife in the past and a grandfather I loved that turned out to have been not so nice ( all came out after his death ) I’m heterosexual and been single for 7 years ( no desire to change that) after a previous partner cheated, one had dreadful personal hygiene and a narcissistic abusive ex husband. I’ve never been
more happy that DD disclosed recently she is gay.

When a man comes up to me when I’m working and needs assistance, I have noticed that I care - looking into a human being’s eyes, I care equally about his needs as a woman who comes up needing my help.
but men on the internet, random men who have sad stories about how they feel they can’t harass women anymore? I don’t give a shit about them.
I am, in fact, absolutely enraged that women’s health is only newly being studied, and everything is based on men (psychological studies, medical studies..)

i am so angry about how women have been treated that I have sworn off dating men, and am very careful to not take on extra emotional labor. I’m absolutely done with men, and I’m Hetero and ok with a celibate life from now on.

and yet, a young male coworker had nowhere to go for the holiday, so i invited him to have dinner with my family. Just a kid, really. I have male friends, and I care about their well being.

so YANBU, and I guess when we know someone, it doesn’t matter, really, if they happen to be a man.

When my own DP with two daughters starts giving a toss about the issues that affect women and girls I might care but I’m now 57 and have yet to really know a good decent man in my time on this earth.
I bloody hope this changes.

suicide is the biggest killer of young men
fact
I have 3 sons, I care very deeply about them

Women think about who will find the body and therefore use less violent methods. Sounds a little like you think women’s attempts are just attention seeking. You should unpack your misogyny

I care about everyone's issues. If everyone is happy and settled in themselves, they are more likely to be healthier. Which reduces the burden on the NHS and other public services. Meaning there is more to go around for those in need.

Yes, many men are shits but I care more about the greater good than I do about any grudges.

I think this is part of the problem. I'm generalising here, but women tend to seek out groups of other women in real life if we are bored or lonely, we join hobby groups, pta's, book clubs, WI, church coffee mornings etc. When we moved to a new area a few years ago I went to loads of these things and now know loads of people in my community. There are very few men going to these groups. As a result we 'touch grass' more and in my opinion have a better sense of our own place in the world and sense of self for being around people who have come together through shared enthusiasm rather than shared opinion or world view.

For a lot of men community now exists in the internet, on a platform that wants to plug you into a echo chamber to keep you coming back, such that when they step out into real world they dont know how to connect with people and it exacerbates the loneliness problem as a vicious cycle.

I don't think it's a problem that women have a responsibility to fix but I do have sympathy that this is where we've ended up. I think the best way men can start to fix it is to put the time in to create more social groups in their communities and encourage other men and boys to go.

All the men in our family are lovely. I raised my son to respect his sisters and his dad was an amazing role model. My son is now a 6ft beer drinking mountaineering strong alpha male who is not afraid to also be caring, vulnerable and a feminist. He takes responsibilty for his domestic life, his emotional intelligence and he and his gf are equal partners. He enjoys his life and has no angst about his masculinity or his values.

If men are confused or distressed about their place in a modern world where women have some power (note only ‘some’ not an equal amount) then they need to reflect on why. My heart doesn’t bleed. They’ve been at the top of the privilege tree (and still are) for all of human history. Time to budge up and realise that cooperation and empathy is the key to civilisation and progress. Not some dumb Andrew Tate or Taliban-esque vision of condemning half the population to a life of uneducated cattle who just breed and cook.

They landed a rocket on the moon and invented computers. They wage wars and devastation and make a billion dollar global industry out of kicking a ball into a net. They’ll be fine.

YANBU op.

I totally agree. But I was surprised women I thought were on my wavelength (and have never had the pie) were buying into this view

Yes and look at the films like Stand By Me, The Goonies etc. There are no female equivalent films where girls get together, hang out and go on adventures. Any films with a majority young girl cast it’s all Mean Girls and bullying.

They just want women to fix and organise everything for them. Moan about International women’s day but never do anything for international men’s day. Lack of male clubs, activities, meet ups, male loneliness, just flipping organise it then!! Oh no one does XYZ for men! We are organising our own shit, do your own.

I think this is case where any effort to redress a long term imbalance is greeted with howls of anguish by those who've had most of the pie since the time humanity has been recorded.

Or 9.9/10 CEOs at their future place of work.

But how does that work, when men are not called out on their bad behaviour = continue bad behaviour - they are called out = somehow this causes the bad behaviour to continue?

No one is saying being male is bad, it’s just men hearing it that way when they are told their behaviour is bad.