DD babysitting for family who are never on time

Your dd needs to learn to drive. I’ve been in childcare over 20 years, before having my own kids I’d be babysitting at least 3 nights most weeks. I’d estimate half of the sits run later than you are told. Particularly for those using the sitter as childcare while they work they have gone for this option precisely because they have hard to manage finish times. It’s not great but I do think bits part of what is babysitting half hour hear or these (so long as it’s paid) is to be expected

Tricky because if you live rurally that’s not really your daughter’s fault and she’s done well to get a consistent paid job in line with her interests. I’d probably suck it up and take a book or browse vinted. It won’t be forever and at least you know she’s safe

It didn't sound like that from your post, sorry.

Yeah I did thanks for your help.

Give them a range then, or a latest time.
When I was a young babysitter, I might have been happy to babysit til 11 on a school night but not til 1 am, so I might have turned down a late job.

I never had my mother collect me from babysitting jobs - one of the parents always took me home! Is this unusual now? The girl I used lived only four houses down so not a problem. I think one of them needs to drop her back.

The post isn’t about you though is it ?

(Obviously I paid for the time)

I found babysitters that needed me back at a specific time (on the dot) irritating. I once had to leave the school quiz before the end for example. I found someone else with own transport.

OP didn't say she's being paid for the extra time - unless I missed that?

I assume she is, but if it happens regularly, it's a different kind of arrangement and everyone should be clear where they stand.

In your final sentence, saying between 1130 and midnight is perfect - but if you didn't come home til 1230, then it would be a problem for me. And that seems to be the situation here.

‘Being treated so badly…’ Because they’re a little late being home for a babysitter as their work shifts ran over? One is a nurse for goodness sakes. She’s being paid for her time, even when they run over. The OP’s issue is the parent of the babysitter wants a specific pickup time which is clearly difficult to provide if doing shift work, give or take 15/20 mins. How is that treating someone badly?

Ive got a babysitter booked next Saturday for example and have told them I’ll be back sometime between 11.30 and midnight. I fail to understand how that is treating someone badly.

This seems like a rather entitled view!
anyone providing a service, paid or not, deserves enough respect that they have an idea of when their shift will end
even on a ‘treat’ night out surely you can be considerate enough to know what time is reasonable to get back for.
also, the post is referring to a 17 year old who’s being paid cash in hand and the parents she is sitting for know she doesn’t have her own transport.

Honestly. I imagine this is cash in hand regular work that suits your DD. A few late pick ups for someone who works is a hospital and can’t just walk out and someone in hospitality who I imagine is in a similar position. I’d say she wouldn’t find something as flexible that fits with her current job. Imagine the stress already in that house without adding in extra payments, taxis to sort etc. she will be driving soon. I’d suck it up.

They are working and in those jobs end shift can be later depending on drunk people or ill patients or paperwork

hope they pay her for the extra - if not why not ?

al she has to do is ask them to text her when on way home so she can text you with a time

it is not the family’s job to make sure she gets home safely. If she is old enough to babysit then dd needs to sort out travel - which she has via you

Maybe get dd to write down times and when back for a few weeks.

see if any pattern to being later

Maybe some nights like Friday are busier then a week night for pub work

if always 30mins later then you arrive at that time an if they are early/on time dd can sit on their sofa

Surely the best solution is to just talk to them 🥴. Your DD needs to make them aware that them being late is causing her transport problems as she relies on you (until she passes her test. She needs to put some solutions/work around forwards and discuss how you all can make this work. I expect they will be keen to find a solution as it sounds as if your DD is reliable and qualified as she works in a nursery.

Your DD sounds as though she’s being very mature and trying to find a solution whilst you are putting up barriers. I don’t get why a text wouldn’t work, you’re already in pickup mindset so 30 mins is nothing!

I think it depends how frequently and how much your DD wants the extra money. No one is being particularly unreasonable as variable finish times are usually the nature of babysitting but understand that the pick ups are a pain for you. Can you share pick ups with a DP so you don’t have to stay up each time?

This was one of the reasons we encouraged our DD to learn to drive asap. If you really don’t want to pick up at variable times then DD will need to speak to them or turn down the job.

DD suggested she could ask them to text her before leaving work to save me from waiting around, but that’s not ideal as it means I’d be hanging around all evening waiting for a message. I don’t mind picking her up if I know the time in advance so I can plan my evening accordingly.

Wouldn’t you be planning your evening up to the time you would leave if they didn’t work overtime? It would only be from then there would be any uncertainty.

But as this is happening at gone 11pm at night, I can understand why you aren’t happy.

I wouldn’t be comfortable doing this alone in the dark at 20 years older than DD.

I wouldn’t have a problem waiting for a text tbh.

But it does sound like your DD needs to speak to them about this issue.

A taxa is quite expensive and I wouldn't leave the kids to ferry the babysitter home.
But of course I would keep track of time and not be late.

The parents must know mum is picking up. They should respect that.

I would ask them for a set time and if not able to do that they could find another babysitter. Good money or not.

I think it's worth a discussion with them first, to see if there is a solution. Can one of them drop her home, or are they happy for her to hang around waiting for you to collect her (how far is she from you to pick up?) or can they message her when they are leaving, so you can leave at the right time?

I am sure if I booked a young babysitter and had a car I would drive them home. If not the couple need to sort a taxi and pay for it.

But if both parents are working then she would leave when the first one comes home. No one could drive her as the kids would be home alone?

I babysat loads for years and had no patience for lateness. I always had more asks than weekends though so it was fine when I dropped people. Particularly nowadays when everyone has a phone there’s no excuse really - they must know before 11 (or whatever) that they aren’t getting home at 11.

If she asks them to drive her back, then presumably she'll have to wait until both are home, and be even later as they won't want to drag the children out of bed.

Not very safe on dark and cold winter evenings is it?