Brother shouted at me to control my child

that would definitely make life happier for everyone concerned.

I agree.

Watching posters frothing over the chips and ketchup is illustrative. I'm a pretty organic carrots and sourdough kind of parent, but finding the gleeful contempt just fucking grim (ooh sounds like a maccys you terrible mother). All foods are messy when eaten by an 18month old. By all means tell OP to feed their child in the kitchen next time but there's no need for all the rest.

YaBU to call your 18 month old naughty for picking up an object in his reach and feeding him chips with ketchup at someone’s house with no Mat / high chair etc.

He is BU to tell you to control your child.

You’re both first time parents by the sound of it, cut each other some slack.

Best to do a swift check of what is in reach when they are that age, and move anything breakable.

But your brother was a dick.

Here’s hoping his child turns into a relentless pain and stays that way well into adulthood

My three children are way past this stage thankfully, but my memories of their toddler years are vivid enough for me to raise the bar of what I consider 'piss poor parenting' which, by the way, is a properly rude as fuck thing to say.

But you do you.

Granted I don't use Ocado, but I had naively assumed that basic food items such as bread, cheese, pasta, fruit and vegetables would be available in most households. And most toddlers will eat something from that list even if it's only toast.

The OP went round to her brother's for dinner.
She took chips and ketchup for her kid as she didn't feel their food would be suitable.
She fed said chips and ketchup to kid in a carpeted space, and of course the kid got ketchup on the carpet. Which the host cleaned up before she did.
The child then repeatedly tried to pick up an ornament which the OP referred to as 'naughty' which it obviously isn't. Its developmentally appropriate. The ornament should have been moved immediately and the child distracted.
When the brother asked her rudely to control her child's behavior- which is a bloody reasonable request, the OP got upset and left the visit prematurely, basically walked out in a strop.
It's absolutely rude as fuck and piss poor parenting.

B) there is nothing more annoying than a parent just saying No, weakly and not actually intervening in their child’s behaviour.

She literally said she took the object off of him straight away and spoke to him firmly. What intervention are you proposing?

His parenting skills could still have been better than yours, even though the second child's character was more challenging.

I wouldn’t be happy with ketchup on my carpets either - you were rather entitled to assume he could leave the table with one and yes I’d have moved the ornament out of the way the first time

it is not worth falling out with your brother over this . You were both in a stressful situation new to you both , wanting everything to be perfect . Give yourselves slack make up and move on . Hope you work it out . I expect he is hurt you left the dinner they had been working on

I think it's fine to disagree with the op but calling her 'rude as fuck' and calling her parenting 'piss poor' is well out of order.

Your brother was a bit of a dick in the way he handled it but he's right to be pissed off about the two incidents. Why would you feed a child with ketchup on a carpet and why was he allowed to get up? Also, why was he allowed to touch the ornament again? The first time is bad enough but kids will often not take no for an immediate answer. Remove and distract a child the instant this happens. I can see it from both sides.

I know you're embarrassed at not having done the obvious thing in the first place, and don't do it now, but gosh, what has happened to common sense when it comes to parenting these days? The number of events I've seen at my school where the audience needs to be able to hear what is being said by the speaker (whether it's our staff, or little children trying their very best to remember their words), and very noisy babies and toddlers who are walking about are just half-heartedly "shushed" by their parent or let wander about when they're disrupting everything, rather than being taken out the room....

Chips are absolutely delicious but if you think its socially acceptable to rock up to someone's house at dinner, with a bag of chips and ketchup, and let a 1 year old tuck in on a carpet... well, I strongly disagree. Especially if it was dinner time and the brother was intending to feed everyone.
It's rude as fuck and piss poor parenting.

"I brought my son up some dinner to eat as it was dinner time". I assume you don't feed your son cold chips, so sounds like you picked up some chips on the way to your brothers (anyone else picturing a maccies bag? 😆) and sat him down on the carpet when you walked in.

Maybe don't arrive to someone else's house just as your son needs feeding? If there's no other option, then you definitely don't sit a toddler on a carpet with ketchup, that's ridiculous. Ask for a towel or something to sit them on so any mess goes on the towel.

"He got up with his chip which he had just dipped in ketchup and he dropped the chip onto the carpet." Why was he allowed to stand up while he was eating? You should have been adequately supervising and the minute he attempted to stand up (which wouldn't have been fast for an 18 month old) you should have stopped him doing that and told him to keep sitting till he'd finished eating.

The ornament should have been moved out of your son's reach after the first time he grabbed it, by you or your brother.

It just sounds to me like your brother got frustrated at the fairly ineffectual parenting. Toddlers that age are hard work, you need to be totally on it when visiting someone else's home, especially if things like messy food is involved.

Ur brother is a shit uncle and brother.

Maybe OP lives in the real world, where “suitable” for a toddler means “something they will eat”, rather than “organic non-UPF whole foods only available on Ocado”?

Some of you should try visiting some time. It’ll blow your minds.

agree

Yes, a toddler wont respond to no, so why give him a ketchup laden chip and send him on his way toward ornaments. You should have had him on your knee with food and moved things out of reach as he was going for them.

Why? Are chips the devil's work? Although of course on here parents only feed their children organic home made food.

OP made a huge point of saying she'd brought her own food because her brother wouldn't have anything suitable for an 18 month old.
Which is why people are picking up on the fact that she'd actually brought chips and ketchup, rather than relying on the terrible unsuitable food that her brother might have.

Actually I am now desperate to know what weird diet the brother eats that there would be nothing that was suitable for a toddler.

Im not going to say whether yabu or not as I can see it from both sides but when mine where that age we would sit them on a towel or blanket to eat or pushchair if we had it with us. As for the ornament you need to be straight up taken of him and put out of reach not just keep saying no. I hated going to peoples houses who didn't have kids its just not relaxing.

Why? Are chips the devil's work? Although of course on here parents only feed their children organic home made food.
I think your brother sounds like a twat. Your child should have been sat down but he's 18 months, not 18 years. He's still learning.
With the ornament you intervened , took it off him and told him no. What else was your brother expecting you to do? He could have moved the ornament if he was so worried about it or suggested you fed DS in a room without a carpet.
Never mind, he'll learn.

I love these kinds of stories.

I recall a similarly smug brother convinced he had parenting cracked and that my child was feral because his first born was so easy and placid. His utter conviction that he was God's gift to parenthood.

And then he had a second. Who made mine look angelic.