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We’ve hurt the birthday boy’s feelings?

521 replies

sidneytweeney · 09/01/2026 08:39

So my son who is 8 has been invited to his friend’s birthday party next weekend. Another mum who I am friends with has asked me to take her son to the party too as she is working (he’s been invited.) I’ve agreed to do this and to help my friend out further, her son is going to be having a sleepover at mine in the night of the party. (Mum friend is a single parent, works as a nurse) The birthday boy is staying at his grandparents after his party in order to see extended family for his birthday. Birthday boy’s mum texted me this morning to say that I had disappointed birthday boy by organising a fun sleepover to which birthday boy can’t come. She said I had ‘taken the shine off his special day.’ Unless I’m missing a higher chunk of social awareness , this woman is batshit right?

OP posts:
Donsyb · 11/01/2026 09:24

sidneytweeney · 11/01/2026 09:23

I haven’t. I don’t really know what to say. It’s kind of ridiculous isn’t it, but wanted to share with the thread

I would maybe reply and say something like “If you think that’s best, but will your son not be more sad if his friends aren’t his party?”

sidneytweeney · 11/01/2026 09:23

1apenny2apenny · 11/01/2026 09:22

How ridiculous of her, she’s going to look so stupid when others find out. All the talk will be about why your 2 aren’t there! Hope your son and his friend are ok about it, I’m sure they’ll have fun doing another activity.

Yeah I’ll take them out somewhere for the afternoon.

OP posts:
mumindoghouse · 11/01/2026 09:23

Wow! That won’t help birthday boy at all!

it could create friction between the boys unnecessarily.

Utterly ridiculous response.

Donsyb · 11/01/2026 09:23

Pretty soon this woman’s son won’t have any friends - then her son will be “sad”!

sidneytweeney · 11/01/2026 09:23

Donsyb · 11/01/2026 09:21

What did you reply?

I haven’t. I don’t really know what to say. It’s kind of ridiculous isn’t it, but wanted to share with the thread

OP posts:
1apenny2apenny · 11/01/2026 09:22

How ridiculous of her, she’s going to look so stupid when others find out. All the talk will be about why your 2 aren’t there! Hope your son and his friend are ok about it, I’m sure they’ll have fun doing another activity.

Donsyb · 11/01/2026 09:22

BillyBites · 11/01/2026 09:21

Wow!! So your conciliatory apologetic post didn’t work? Silly woman.
Who is the third child? I thought it was just the nurse’s son?

I think the 3rd person is the OP

sidneytweeney · 11/01/2026 09:22

BillyBites · 11/01/2026 09:21

Wow!! So your conciliatory apologetic post didn’t work? Silly woman.
Who is the third child? I thought it was just the nurse’s son?

Sorry I mean me, my son and nurse’s son

OP posts:
Donsyb · 11/01/2026 09:21

sidneytweeney · 11/01/2026 09:18

All three of us…

What did you reply?

BillyBites · 11/01/2026 09:21

Wow!! So your conciliatory apologetic post didn’t work? Silly woman.
Who is the third child? I thought it was just the nurse’s son?

JackieQueen · 11/01/2026 09:20

That's outrageous! What a nob!

sidneytweeney · 11/01/2026 09:18

thepariscrimefiles · 11/01/2026 09:17

Wow! She really is a twat. Has the child that was coming to the sleepover also been uninvited or just your son?

ETA that I've seen your follow up post and she's uninvited both boys. She's not doing her son any favours here with this ridiculous behaviour.

Edited

All three of us…

OP posts:
thepariscrimefiles · 11/01/2026 09:17

sidneytweeney · 11/01/2026 09:15

We’ve been uninvited!

Wow! She really is a twat. Has the child that was coming to the sleepover also been uninvited or just your son?

ETA that I've seen your follow up post and she's uninvited both boys. She's not doing her son any favours here with this ridiculous behaviour.

sidneytweeney · 11/01/2026 09:16

This is the text!

We’ve hurt the birthday boy’s feelings?
OP posts:
sidneytweeney · 11/01/2026 09:15

We’ve been uninvited!

OP posts:
SheThinksShesAllThat · 11/01/2026 09:01

Wow she’s cray cray…… really setting her son up for disappointment in the real world. These parents annoy me !

BillyBites · 11/01/2026 08:50

Hattieandcake · 10/01/2026 21:45

Yes !! WTF

It’s been covered already. It’s a closed group for discussing Minecraft.
Stand down. Nothing to see here.

pouletvous · 11/01/2026 07:48

@imdunfer

The mother has failed here. Not OP. Kids mum needs to handle his expectations

pouletvous · 11/01/2026 07:45

She’s utterly unreasonable

Stucknstoopit · 11/01/2026 02:36

sidneytweeney · 09/01/2026 08:55

I hate myself

This is the only logical outcome for this scenario.
a couple of Hail Marys and you should get out of this alive

Cariadm · 11/01/2026 02:11

sidneytweeney · 09/01/2026 08:39

So my son who is 8 has been invited to his friend’s birthday party next weekend. Another mum who I am friends with has asked me to take her son to the party too as she is working (he’s been invited.) I’ve agreed to do this and to help my friend out further, her son is going to be having a sleepover at mine in the night of the party. (Mum friend is a single parent, works as a nurse) The birthday boy is staying at his grandparents after his party in order to see extended family for his birthday. Birthday boy’s mum texted me this morning to say that I had disappointed birthday boy by organising a fun sleepover to which birthday boy can’t come. She said I had ‘taken the shine off his special day.’ Unless I’m missing a higher chunk of social awareness , this woman is batshit right?

WTAF?! To say she is making a bit of a leap is putting it mildly unless she has been misinformed by some other parent of course?! 🙄

Daygloboo · 11/01/2026 02:06

sidneytweeney · 09/01/2026 08:39

So my son who is 8 has been invited to his friend’s birthday party next weekend. Another mum who I am friends with has asked me to take her son to the party too as she is working (he’s been invited.) I’ve agreed to do this and to help my friend out further, her son is going to be having a sleepover at mine in the night of the party. (Mum friend is a single parent, works as a nurse) The birthday boy is staying at his grandparents after his party in order to see extended family for his birthday. Birthday boy’s mum texted me this morning to say that I had disappointed birthday boy by organising a fun sleepover to which birthday boy can’t come. She said I had ‘taken the shine off his special day.’ Unless I’m missing a higher chunk of social awareness , this woman is batshit right?

Reminds me of the time i went to a swanky wedding. After the earlyish reception, when bride and groom had gone off on their honeymoon, a couple of very glamorous women invited me and my partner and a few other guests to a fancy nightclub. We had a great time. The bride found out about it some time later and apparently was furious . I mean, wtf, what possible business was it of hers.

Bearsaloud · 11/01/2026 01:14

TheRealMagic · 09/01/2026 12:16

I don't think having the sleepover is rude. I think talking about it in front of the boy who isn't going is rude.

I agree that the birthday boy is suffering no harm, and that his mum should have just talked to him about it, not texted OP. Her saying the birthday was ruined was a total overreaction and unhelpful. But I'm not surprised that an 8 year old is a bit sad after his two friends talked about a fun thing they'd be doing together without him in front of him. I think the birthday party element is irrelevant - that's just always a rude thing to do.

i don't think it's 'rude' as such - they are 8 year old children.

Bearsaloud · 11/01/2026 01:07

MNLurker1345 · 10/01/2026 20:09

Oh come on, you are doing a key worker a much needed kindness and two fiends get a sleepover.

It is difficult, as PP has said the boys are talking in the playground.

My 6 year old DGS would most probably have a problem with this were he in this situation, but I would trust my DD to talk to him in order to get him to understand some of
life's little complexities.

Exactly this - the mum should chat to her son as his feelings are completely valid, not question the other mother (ie the poster)

Bearsaloud · 11/01/2026 01:05

TheNightingalesStarling · 09/01/2026 08:43

To clarify... is the Mum working when the boy is sleeping over?

Unintentionally you may led to birthday boy feeling left out if they've talked about it at school.

But he's already going to his family so has plans anyway and it's completely separate: if he feels left out as been talking at school, his mum should just explain to him that it's completely separate from his party and he has plans of his own anyway! She should not be questioning what other people's plans are, she's the adult here and it's her job to talk to her son

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