We’ve hurt the birthday boy’s feelings?

I feel sorry for all the children involved. It's unfair to the 2 who have been uninvited, and if the birthday boy didn't feel like he was being excluded by them before this, I bet he does now. He probably thinks they have chosen to do something together rather than attend his birthday party as I'd hazard a guess that his Mum hasn't told him the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth!

No, I think OP said earlier that Highly Unreasonable Mother has a bit of a reputation for drama, this sucks the air out of it.

You shouldn’t have said this, not replying would have been better than this.

It IS a problem, she’s disappointed your child and his friend because she’s mistaken childcare for a big slumber party.

Agree it’s awful behaviour.

I feel sorry for the birthday boy that his mum is so drama seeking!

Although you definitely get the last laugh OP - it would be too late to change numbers so she will have to have paid for them and you no longer have to give a birthday present so can be used for the next birthday party. You also don't have to fake smile for 2 hours.

I would explain to the boys that sadly his mum took something the wrong way it's nothing that they did but you will go have fun regardless.

Sod off.

Just saying what I needed to say.

OMG she is insane, her poor son.

I bet she's now extra enraged by your extremely reasonable and pleasant response, that she can't complain about to anyone!

Thank you. That's what I thought.

🤣 love it!

If it's a sleepover with 2 or 3 of the kids, then yes, birthday boys mom is being unreasonable for sure. Id say she could be a bit anxious about his birthday going well. There was no need for her to worry unduly about her son's temporary disappointment really. At that age he would have forgotten it anyway as the party went on and he saw the cake and presents. You didn't do anything wrong. You were helping a friend out so her child could go to the party which was a very nice thing to do. As a single mom myself, it was a lovely thing you did and It would have really helped her out. I would just say 'aw no sorry to hear he was disappointed, that it was only the 2 of them and made things easier for your friend and then focus on the birthday party instead and if he had a good day otherwise/liked his presents etc.

Ignore her.

When my DS was younger his friends' mums and I would often do this to help each other out. Sometimes we'd do a weekend of it. I'm sure her son goes to plenty of sleepovers.

Absolutely.

She's batshit. And she's teaching her son to be batshit.

not being paid.

this mother is completely batshit crazy. She will push all her sons friends away doing shit like this.

Why should she have to explain herself? Why does she "really need to say" anything at all. Far more weak to make excuses and explain herself to a nutter when she hasn't done anything that requires an excuse.

As a non-UKer you should have some pride in yourself, fgs and not make excuses or give explanations to people who don't deserve them.

And the chief proponent of this excellent policy was HM Elizabeth II with never complain never explain.

Wow, 🤯

I'm just imagining when things jump ahead a few years and party invite Mum 's son starts dating, and then she eventually becomes a mother in law. I hope Mumsnet is still going strong by then.

The OP is being paid for it? I've missed that. Fine if she is, but I think she's just dong a friend a favour?

This is insane. She thinks she gets to dictate the entire movements of all the boys in her son's class for the entire weekend, just because she's hosting a party for a couple of hours. What did she think you were going to say? "Gosh, sorry, we'll cancel the sleepover..."

The second text is even more unhinged than the first. I think you've been very composed, OP. I would have been so tempted to reply, "Wow, ok lol..."

This child can only be a first born. 100%.

Did you want OP to get in to an angry rage about it at the mum or something? Sometimes short snappy responses are just fine.

Your arrangements to help out another Mum are nothing to do with birthday boys Mum. And birhday boy just needs to be helped to learn that sometimes we can't always be involved in everything. Ridiculous

I remember being at school and friends living closer together having sleepovers to coordinate travelling. Yes, it stung a little to not be involved but I knew it was really because of the travel, not because it was personal. It is important for children to develop rational thinking and to understand the world doesn’t revolve around them. It sounds like the mum needs to learn that too!

You have been very gracious in your response to her, OP. I personally would agree with a PP when explaining it to your son to just lay it out straight, that the mum is irrationally upset and sometimes grown ups need to learn to be kind and regulate their emotions in the same way kids do!

Cool! Loving her commitment and thoroughness

Yes, she has encountered everyone in this country and witnessed this behaviour from us all.

Everyone in this entire country is that way?!