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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Need handhold and urgent advice

158 replies

FFSToEverythingSince2020 · 09/01/2026 07:53

I think I may be putting this is AIBU when I meant Chat. Sorry, all. I’ll try to keep it very short. I have cellulitis, and already had life-limiting illness. My DH is having a mental health breakdown, partially brought on by the stress of caring for me (he says no, but it’s obvious). I finally got him on the phone to the GP so he has treatment, thank God, and they were just wonderful with him. I’m on first-line oral antibiotics for cellulitis (flucloxacillin) but got up this morning at 7 to take my pill and noticed I have swelling, but NOT an open sore, under my eye. Here are the issues:

  1. How long should I wait to see if the swelling under my eye goes down or becomes a sore? (Before this, the doctor said to give the antibiotic until Friday to work; sores take up to 12 hours to develop for me).
  2. My husband is currently on heavy medication for a few days, to deal with what’s going on. He’s normally my carer. I would call my PILs but they’re leaving for Thailand today on a long-awaited trip, and BIL is house sitting their cat. The only relative I had is my mum and she’s 3000 miles away and at work. I have a friend who can come, but she can only get a flight on Monday. Should I just tell her now to come? Her coming will REALLY upset my husband as he has high anxiety, but if I get hospitalized, wtf are we going to do???

I swear I’m normally “smarter” than this but I feel just paralyzed by stress and worry and feeling so unwell. And I keep thinking I’m going to die, which is either my own anxiety or someone did say it could be sepsis, which I had in November.

I’m just having a huge wobble, I don’t know what to do about anything, and I don’t have a lot of friends to ask, and none local or with experience of this.

OP posts:
Ineffable23 · 12/01/2026 20:13

I'm so glad you are feeling a bit better now OP, and delighted it wasn't sepsis. When a doctor spots something like that and then can come up with something that helps you so fast it's almost like magic isn't it.

jessycake · 12/01/2026 20:12

It’s not an embarrassing update , Addisons is not a background thing , and when you are ill you often have to have extra medication .A lot of Dr’s don’t have much experience with Addison's and really understand it .

FFSToEverythingSince2020 · 12/01/2026 20:03

MrsLizzieDarcy · 12/01/2026 19:53

Glad you're on the upward, OP.

I was really unwell a few years ago, and the day before, I had to stop the car when I was driving home. I literally felt this horrific feeling of doom come over me - and it was crushing. I hadn't felt anything like it, ever, and it was terrifying. The next day, I was hit with chest pain and was treated for a suspected heart attack - thankfully it wasn't but took months of tests for diagnosis. How I felt for those few moments will never leave me. GP said it's more common in women.

Hey, I just wanted to thank you so much for sharing this. It has felt really odd, and difficult to explain to people. I think I’m not doing great at explaining things right now. I think you explained that feeling really, really well, and yes! It was exactly like that. They want me to go… this is embarrassing, but I can’t remember. Another specialist. I have it in my bag, I think.

OP posts:
MurkyMo · 12/01/2026 19:58

Well done OP, so glad you're feeling a little better.

MrsLizzieDarcy · 12/01/2026 19:53

Glad you're on the upward, OP.

I was really unwell a few years ago, and the day before, I had to stop the car when I was driving home. I literally felt this horrific feeling of doom come over me - and it was crushing. I hadn't felt anything like it, ever, and it was terrifying. The next day, I was hit with chest pain and was treated for a suspected heart attack - thankfully it wasn't but took months of tests for diagnosis. How I felt for those few moments will never leave me. GP said it's more common in women.

MrsMitford3 · 12/01/2026 19:48

Such wonderful news @FFSToEverythingSince2020

So happy to hear!

Alltheyellowbirds · 12/01/2026 19:47

Oh I am SO PLEASED to read all this. Have been thinking of you.

FFSToEverythingSince2020 · 12/01/2026 19:45

I honestly don’t know if this is an embarrassing update or not. I still have “mild” cellulitis (it really hurts, whoever said that; I guess it’s the swelling that hurts more than the actual spot that ulcerated - it feels like my skin is stretched?) BUT no sepsis - apparently, most of my problem was lack of steroids. I have Addison’s but not much experience managing it (it’s fairly recently acquired and usually is a “background” disease because my life-limiting condition is considered more serious); I did ask the GP (on Thursday? Friday? I can’t remember) if I should be doubling steroids while on the antibiotics and they said no.

Today, a new registrar/doctor came on, saw I have medication-acquired Addison’s, and ordered them to give me double steroids immediately. Within about 2 hours, the “I’m going to die” feeling went away completely, but I still feel so weak and shaky. But this is more like just being really sick; like worst than the worst flu I’ve ever had, but also a bit different. Since my infection markers have gone down, I can hopefully go home very soon. I just need to take 3x the steroids while I’m on antibiotics.

Which is GREAT news, because DH’s therapy assessment has been moved to tomorrow. He and I spoke to our GP this morning, and they’ve given him a few more days of calming medication, so he can get me home from the hospital and go to his therapy assessment tomorrow. My friend is here and she’s helping us out and I’m so, so, so grateful. I’ll never be able to repay her. Also, I’m sorry for over sharing and being dramatic - I really feel a bit embarrassed but I’ve never felt like that before, ever, even when I’ve been previously hospitalised. And I’m not exactly new to being sick. I know it can feel awful, but I’d just never felt like this. And I’ve had a horrible flu; it’s not like that.

I just wanted to say, for anyone reading this, if you ever have this sensation, you’ll know it: you feel like you’ll never be warm again, your jaw locks up, your chest hurts, your heart races, and you think something VERY wrong is happening. You haven’t been thinking you were that sick, but suddenly you’re convinced that you’re going to die. This is a very real symptom and the doctor said it’s more common in women (I’m too sick to look this up; he definitely believed it). If this ever happens to you like it did to me, do NOT wait like I did. Call 999, please. You’re absolutely worth it and you’re not “stealing” anyone else’s place in the hospital. We all deserve to live.

And please, just ignore any typos. I still feel so fucking sick.

OP posts:
Needapadlockonmyfridge · 12/01/2026 07:31

OP I hope the treatment is working and that you are beginning to feel better x

NewAgeNewMe · 12/01/2026 06:49

How are you feeling x

Confusedmum74858 · 11/01/2026 23:24

Hope you’re ok OP. I had cellulitis in my leg and it was nasty - I was only 27 at the time and had just had a newborn baby. My CRP was over 250 and it should be under 10, I couldn’t have the IV antibiotics in hospital because they couldn’t take my baby too as he was breastfed and I didn’t want to leave him so they sent me home with a cannula in and the district nurses came daily to deliver the antibiotics that way. Wonder if when your sepsis is under control if they could discharge you and put you under care of the home nursing team too so you’re not away from your DH for so long. Must be so hard for you and him, sending lots of love and strength

Illjustplayostrich · 11/01/2026 22:15

Still thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers x

Piknik · 11/01/2026 18:25

How generous of you to update us. We are all rooting for you OP. x

ERthree · 11/01/2026 16:07

My heart is breaking for you. If you are in sw Scotland and i can help please let me know x

Munchyseeds2 · 11/01/2026 15:45

Wishing you all the luck in the world that you start to feel better soon

loislovesstewie · 11/01/2026 15:43

Still thinking of you and your DH. Please rest, I'm sure the staff are caring for you. And we will all think of you tonight. Those who pray will do, and the rest of us will hold you in our hearts. ❤️

HappyFace2025 · 11/01/2026 15:26

Thank you for your update OP. Also have you and your DH in my thoughts and wishing you both well asap.

NorthernLass50 · 11/01/2026 15:23

FFSToEverythingSince2020 · 11/01/2026 15:16

Never been so sick in my life. I guess it spread quickly because of my vascular condition. Got all my hair cut off because it was easier. Iced raspberry jelly is really quite good. I’m so scared. Thanks for all the support. Friend will be here tomorrow at 1145am to help. This may be the last update for a while because it’s fucking hard to type and my chest hurts

Thank you for the update. Glad your friend is on the way tomorrow. Take care of yourself and hope you start to feel better soon x

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 11/01/2026 15:21

Bless you. Save your energy. I hope your friend brings you comfort and support.

FFSToEverythingSince2020 · 11/01/2026 15:16

Never been so sick in my life. I guess it spread quickly because of my vascular condition. Got all my hair cut off because it was easier. Iced raspberry jelly is really quite good. I’m so scared. Thanks for all the support. Friend will be here tomorrow at 1145am to help. This may be the last update for a while because it’s fucking hard to type and my chest hurts

OP posts:
Vallmo47 · 11/01/2026 14:40

Thinking of you @FFSToEverythingSince2020
I don’t know what to say beyond that.
Praying for a miracle. ♥️♥️

JennyWrenSeven · 11/01/2026 12:39

Thinking of you and you DH @FFSToEverythingSince2020 I hope you’re comfortable and having the best care surrounding you. I’m so sorry you’re going through this 💐

Zippidydoodah · 11/01/2026 11:32

Sending so much love to you and your wonderful husband ❤️

PattiPatty · 11/01/2026 10:35

I've been watching but not posted. I hope you can see this @FFSToEverythingSince2020 and I hope you are comfortable.

TaffyandTeenyTaffy · 11/01/2026 09:28

Sending healing hugs and keeping you and your DH in my thoughts.