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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be frustrated that DD is struggling to find a job in her desired field while her friends on skilled worker visas aren’t

281 replies

Andiessock · 08/01/2026 21:58

My DD is in her mid 20s, she graduated with a masters in philosophy over 2 years ago now from a top university in London, she has a BA from a top university as well. Her two closest friends during her masters weren’t British.
DD struggled to find a job directly related to philosophy or even culture in general, she did manage to get a job in the civil service but she doesn’t enjoy it at all.
Her two friends both managed to get jobs in the field they desired originally on graduate visas, now both are sponsored on skilled worker visas.
One works at cultural institute associated with her home country in programme coordination so planning and running events that promote her countries culture etc. specifically in literature and philosophy.
The other works at a non-profit cultural institution in a similar role to her other friend but a little more research heavy less events centred.

First of all I’m not entirely sure how either of these roles fall under “skilled workers”, they must be making around 40k to even qualify and whilst I understand the first friend being preferred over a British national since it’s a cultural institution, I don’t understand why non-Brits are being given roles in an industry Brits are struggling to get a foot in the door at.

Im all for migrants for what it’s worth, this is not intended to be slanderous to migrants, especially in industries which need the talent from abroad; but I don’t see how that applies here and in this case it does feel like “foreigners are stealing British jobs” (not a sentiment I typically agree with or would use any other time). That’s not to mention that I’m not even sure how these roles qualify as skilled workers in the first place.

AIBU to find this incredibly frustrating?

OP posts:
Mum27383 · 09/01/2026 08:48

FlockofSquirrels · 08/01/2026 23:23

OP, I understand that as a mum you're worried about your DD finding a good job she is excited about.

But you are displaying anti-immigrant prejudice. We show our prejudices through the assumptions we make. In this case you've taken an absurdly small sample size with very limited information and instead of thinking "my DD's friends must have been able to find roles where they were the strongest candidates because of their specific backgrounds and skills and my DD just hasn't found that yet" you've assumed that they unfairly got their jobs and immigrants like them are why your DD has not landed the type of role she wanted. You're scapegoating immigrants for your DD's current challenge... and frankly it's a very common and predictable challenge facing philosophy graduates.

This.

OP is this your DD’s thinking too?

Lucelulu · 09/01/2026 08:47

BlueJuniper94 · 09/01/2026 08:05

Racist? Against the Swedes and French?

Perhaps prejudiced and intolerant might be a more accurate way of putting it yes.

Haruka · 09/01/2026 08:36

Foreign-born people already have a foot up on native-born people by sheer willpower and determination. It takes a lot to migrate - I have done it twice.

Moving countries takes a lot of organisational and communicative skills, which, alone, will have first generation immigrants stand out. The added ability to communicate in a second language to masters levels is not simply a desirable skill, it also demonstrates a good work ethic (because learning languages to that level is hard work and takes an awful lot of perseverance). So, before even counting in work experience and additional cultural experience, anyone who manages to pull off a masters-equivalent degree in any foreign country has demonstarted a range of soft skills, which instantly make them more employable.

Add to that the necessary financial aspects (both for gaining a degree as an overseas student here and for the move itself), often taken care of by working as a school student and then again during university and likely networking skills (because socially, emigrating is very isolating) and you can easily see why migrants are desirable employees. They're harder to employ (due to, e.g., immigration status checks, which are a legal requirement for all employers), but more desirable.

Native-born people fresh out of university have a lot to compete with. It used to be mostly locals, then a more nationwide net, now it's a whole world full of capable people. It's what I keep trying to tell youngsters, but it's so much easier to simply ignore the added abilities migrants demonstrate and blame other employer motives instead.

MushMonster · 09/01/2026 08:33

I want to think that these two roles those friends have are paid by the country/ countries from said cultures, not by UK. So it is not British jobs going to foreigners really. They do have a first hand of said cultures.
Your daughter would have the same opportunities if she lived abroad and taught at an International School or promoted UK via the embassy there or related organisations. I do not think you can compare.
It would not be the same if her friends had hot a job in the Civil Service or Home 0ffice or local Museum and yours were unemployed. That would not make sense to me. But working for institutions that are related directly to their mother culture, that makes some sense to me....

Cushylife · 09/01/2026 08:33

When I interviewed grads - their performance at interviews differed wildly and was often surprising given their CVs. One young man with a first, couldn’t speak he was so nervous, the interview lasted 10 long mins. If I could tell from a cv how well someone would perform at interview I’d have saved a lots of time. Interpersonal skills are often underplayed by many grads, the OP has not described any skills or attributes her dd has that would have put her at the front of the selection- it’s not all about academic qualifications.

OneGreySeal · 09/01/2026 08:33

You and your daughter are far too focused on how other people have got the jobs rather than why your daughter isn’t getting the jobs. Change your perspective so that she can become a better candidate.

Immigrants tend to have a hustler mentality when they’re seeking work. There is so much riding on it. You and DD sound incredibly privileged and clearly have plenty of time to dissect the careers of others, move that energy into getting feedback from places she interviewed to figure out where she can improve.

onho · 09/01/2026 08:32

A mod removed my comment. Reall? What’s this site really about? I think it’s about time to bin this forum.

Duckswaddle · 09/01/2026 08:31

Sometimes you just have to do a job that pays the bills.
Masters in philosophy and you expect to just be handed a job 🤣 the real world has come calling I’m afraid.

And you sound like a knob, by the way. So what if her friends have jobs that your daughter doesn’t? They have skills she doesn’t and/or interviewed well. Sometimes Brits are turned down for jobs 😮

Wellbeing24 · 09/01/2026 08:29

Hi OP, a quick google search brought up quite a selection of options for her, perhaps she needs to focus on adapting her CV to each role applied for as well as her interview skills? Its so hard when we see our DC unhappy in their work but as many other PP have said the civil service can give lots of other opportunities and she can apply for transfer to other departments if she is not happy where she is.

I hope the below information is useful to you and your DD, all Google sourced!

Core "Ethics" and Knowledge-Based Roles

Academic Researcher/Lecturer: The most direct path is to pursue postgraduate education and become a philosophy professor or researcher, specializing in these specific philosophical areas.

AI/Data Ethicist: With the rise of artificial intelligence, there is a demand for specialists to consider the ethical implications ("should we even do this?") and responsible innovation surrounding technology.

Clinical/Bioethicist: In healthcare settings, ethicists help medical teams, patients, and families navigate complex ethical dilemmas.

Ethics and Compliance Officer: Large organizations in both public and private sectors hire officers to ensure operations are conducted ethically and comply with regulations.

Policy Analyst/Advisor: Working for government agencies, think tanks, or non-profits to develop policy rooted in sound social and ethical principles.

General Professional Careers -
Philosophy graduates often pursue professional degrees in fields like law, business, or government, where their strong reasoning abilities are valuable.

Law (Barrister, Solicitor, Paralegal): The ability to construct robust arguments and analyze evidence is a significant asset in the legal profession.

Civil Service/Local Government Officer: Roles in the civil service require logical thought and the communication of ideas for public administration and policy implementation.

Journalism/Publishing (Editorial Assistant, Writer): Strong communication and analytical skills are essential for writing, editing, and research-focused roles.

Education (Teacher, Lecturer): Teaching at various levels, from primary school to higher education, allows you to apply your understanding of pedagogy and knowledge transmission.

Human Resources/Management: Epistemological and ethical understanding can aid in navigating workplace dynamics, fairness, and organizational behavior.

Consulting/Business: The ability to think critically and analytically about complex problems can lead to executive or consulting roles in various industries.

Ultimately, the skills acquired in these philosophical disciplines are adaptable to many fields that value rigorous thought and principled decision-making.

Dolphinnoises · 09/01/2026 08:26

Stop looking at the immigrants and look dispassionately at your daughter. Could she brush up on interview skills? What is her ideal job? What is she doing to get there?

Iocanepowder · 09/01/2026 08:26

This may be outdated now as i am going back 15 years, but when I was looking for graduate jobs, the feedback I got from interviewers was that my CV stood out as I had more work experiences that many other graudate applicants, regardless of what jobs they were. Could that be a factor here?

CurlewKate · 09/01/2026 08:24

DarkFate · 09/01/2026 07:38

The issue is doing a degree and a master’s in a pretty useless subject

No it isn’t. It’s hoping to get a job in a very niche area rather than looking wider afield. There aren’t many jobs that require a philosophy degree. There are plenty that need a good degree regardless of subject.

Greenwitchart · 09/01/2026 08:24

OP it is rather pathetic to blame these two people for the fact that your daughter can't find a job she likes...

Instead she needs to focus on her interview skills and job search rather than you looking for scapegoats.

QuirkyHorse · 09/01/2026 08:22

Audhumla · 09/01/2026 08:15

She's not unemployed, she's working for the civil service which is in general a very respectable career with plenty of opportunities for advancement.

Ah right, missed that bit.
It must be sickening to spend so much money getting a degree that looks to be potentially worthless.
Which leads onto a whole other discussion that probably isn't appropriate for this thread.

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 09/01/2026 08:21

So I'm presuming that your dd applied for the roles that her friends are doing and that she was unsuccessful. What feedback did she receive after the interviews?

KimHwn · 09/01/2026 08:20

You seem to think that your daughter's place of birth means that she should be employed over others who were born elsewhere.

I'd really examine this in yourself OP, and possibly talk over the ethics/philosophy of it with your daughter! She sounds like an interesting, sparky woman. I think that situations like these, involving people we treasure and adore, can really bring our unconscious bias to the fore.

AmberSpy · 09/01/2026 08:18

I got into this mindset a few years ago when I was a fresh graduate struggling to get a first proper job. I'd be looking at my friends who seemed to have moved ahead of me and be furiously thinking "What have they got that I haven't? How could Firm A possibly have preferred them over me?"

Needless to say it's an extremely toxic and unhealthy mindset and it held me back a lot. One of the best things I ever did was learn to stop comparing myself to peers, and to just maintain a laser focus on my own career, my own strengths and weaknesses. Seven years on, I'm in an interesting, fulfilling and reasonably well-paid job which I never ever would have predicted I'd end up in (not a million miles away from the Data/AI ethics roles that have been suggested upthread actually).

Your daughter will be fine but you must stop agonising about what her friends are up to. It's not healthy and it achieves absolutely nothing.

Audhumla · 09/01/2026 08:15

QuirkyHorse · 09/01/2026 07:39

Is she only looking at jobs that require a philosophy degree, if there even are any 😳

Maybe time for her to rethink her options rather than be unemployed.

She's not unemployed, she's working for the civil service which is in general a very respectable career with plenty of opportunities for advancement.

Audhumla · 09/01/2026 08:13

The roles you describe are exactly the kind of roles that foreigners are likely to be more qualified for, i.e. more likely to have the cultural and linguistic knowledge that make them assets.

Is your daughter multilingual or does she have a native understanding of another culture? If she's monolingual and monocultural I can't understand why you think she'd be suited for that kind of role.

Luckily for you and your daughter there are not all that many of these roles that are specifically suited to people from multicultural/multilingual backgrounds so she probably has a lot more opportunities in the long run.

BlueJuniper94 · 09/01/2026 08:05

Lucelulu · 08/01/2026 22:27

Maybe she’s not as strong as her friends academically (and the same grade doesn’t necessarily mean she is).
Maybe you being just a tiny bit racist.

Racist? Against the Swedes and French?

lottiegarbanzo · 09/01/2026 08:04

Btw OP you do realise you need a sample size of at least 30 carefully matched subjects before you can draw statistically significant conclusions?

You come across, in terms of your ideas though not your writing, like someone who left school at 16 and has not progressed at work, saying ‘but my special dad went to university! She has a degree! Why are employers not queuing up to employ her??’ Naive.

MaryBeardsShoes · 09/01/2026 07:59

What are you talking about? Why do you think Brits should be handed jobs over non-Brits who are evidently a better fit? Does your DD share this entitlement, perhaps that is coming across in her applications.

Ginmonkeyagain · 09/01/2026 07:55

Is she sure that both her friends need a work visa, a lot of people may have right to work without a visa that you are not aware of via ancestry, settled status etc..

I work in a highly skilled workplace and we have staff from all over the world. We hire the best people for the jobs and there are some skills we can only get by casting our net worldwide.

If your DD plans to go in to academia or cultural type job she had better get used to that as they are both highly mobile and international sectors.

QuirkyHorse · 09/01/2026 07:39

Is she only looking at jobs that require a philosophy degree, if there even are any 😳

Maybe time for her to rethink her options rather than be unemployed.

DarkFate · 09/01/2026 07:38

The issue is doing a degree and a master’s in a pretty useless subject