dp hit my ds tonight and i cant stop shaking

Wow.
The extreme behaviour has all the hallmarks of ND.
Children did behave like that back in the day, they probably got smacked on a regular basis and it didn’t teach them a thing.

I’d call the parent with an out of control 6 year old a disgrace.

A child. A 6 yr old. And noones blaming anyone, it's simply the case that a 6 yr old child in circumstances described in the op has every reason to struggle.

And your partner sounds a right tit

Disgusting response, especially considering many posters have said he’s behaving like their ND children.
Is this at all helpful to the OP?
Jesus some of you should be fucking ashamed.

Sounds like the brat needed a good hiding long before now. Children didnt behave like that back in the day children got a smack for bad behaviour. I am so sick of hearing people blaming special needs for their kids behaviour.

It did happen, but there was less help and understanding back then so parents didn’t talk about it. Going by this thread there isn’t much more understanding now.

Imagine trying to blame an entire family, including a toddler for one persons unacceptable behaviour…….

Imagine this much vitriol towards a mixed up 6 yr old. What is wrong with you

Doesn’t sound like a ‘checked out Father’ more an emotionally and physically beaten down man who has reached the end of their tether.

So you even want to place blame on the younger preferred sibling. Yes I’m sure they are preferred over an aggressive manipulative angry child.

Oh and also the Mums to blame….literally anyone and everyone that doesn’t involve holding this psychotic child accountable…..

This
Take care OP

A lock on the door would certainly help his dad! @Barnbrack

Op has said school have said he's just disruptive, she has stated he has challenging behaviour, everything she states sound very much like he should be seen by a professional to ask that question. It's much much more likely he's neurodivergent than a child psychopath.

Wither way he's a child with a checked out father with depression, a younger sibling who is overtly preferred and a mother who isn't eeking help for him. He's also not being offered any guidance. Calling him a psychopath and saying out a lock on the door helps noone.

OP has said he isn’t ND.

You’re entitled to your opinion.

My children both adore their father. I have never threatened them with their father. I have never needed to. They know we are in charge at home. I am by no means a perfect parent, not by a long shot, but a six year old would not be trying to bully their parents in my home.

It doesn't, lots of neurodivergent kids react weirdly to emotions by laughing at an inappropriate emotion. That then escalates, so my son (before I know what was wrong) would get really overexcited, then hyperactive but in a manically happy way then I swear to God you couldn't get him settled and it'd become rage then crying after the fact then he'd settle. Biggest breakthrough was the psychologist explaining Thai and that we needed to get him sensory input and calming down as soon as overexctememt kicked in, even if it looked like he was having fun. Made a HUGE difference

My son at 7 is almost 5 foot tall (he's having testing regarding why) and built like a brick s**thouse. I do pick him up and throw him over my shoulder and definitely did when he was much smaller. Have you ever been bitten hard on the back? Clawed? Had a child swivel, grab your hair and pull your head back? Buck his whole body while throwing ever limb towards your head? Been pulled down to their level by them jumping on your backa and repeatedly punching you in the head?

Thank GOD we rarely have escalations like this now because he's so well managed but the change in routine going back to school led to him starting to bite again and I had deep purple bruises up both arms and on my shoulders from.incidents. and there is no answer when they escalate like that. Other than learning to improve management of them and their emotions gradually over time for educe and stop behaviours. And that is hard daily work. But in the moment it's all about blocking, containing and de escalating them emotionally. When my son hits fight or flight until he 4 he's always went flight and eloped constantly, from 5ish onwards he started hitting fight and it was terrifying.

Now it's rare he melts down, he had one tonight with screaming and yelling and in the end we couldn't get him to have a bath and it took both of us working together to get him I to bed and a solid hour with melatonin to settle him to the point where he could sleep.

And yet I agree to an extent with the fact not enough parenting is happening for this child. He's being left to flounder

Trying to answer:
‘We’ were possibly ok and never as extreme. Of others who weren’t, some children may have grown out of it, maybe some were put into ‘homes’, or some grew up and turned to drugs or drink, or prison.

The threat of a slap is often enough to deter most children. My husband has never hit my children. But they both know he would if they pushed him hard enough. They never have but they know he means business.

Perhaps parenting courses before the child is born? But how do you target the right people? It’s not necessarily a socio economic issue.

Because the violence suffered by the child would be far far worse.

"Getting a belting/leathering/beating" was not simply a turn of phrase for a smacked bottom, it was reality for many children.

I agree. Get a lock for your bedroom door so your husband has some peace when he needs it.

I know, and I do agree with that.

But the crazy part is that they don’t need help. If the parents are rubbish, they need help to learn how to parent.

The alternative is to have situations like op described continuing and escalating. The child is out of control and 100% her and him need help