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AIBU?

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Original poster

Angry woman on plane, Was we BU?

644 replies

Raynaud · 08/01/2026 17:27

7 hour flight with DH and DS(4). As soon as seatbelt lights went off DH fully reclined exhausted DSs seat so he could sleep. The woman behind snapped at DH to put the seat back up as drinks would be coming around soon. DH said no as drinks currently not being served. She called him a selfish twat to her OH.
Drinks/snacks start coming around. Woman tells DH to put the seat back up. DH put the seat back up half way so to not wake DS. She tells him to put it fully up. He tells her DS is sleeping. Her OH then tells her to speak to steward which she does. Steward asks DH to put the seat back up - he tells her DS is sleeping. I tell him to just put it back up, he again says DS is sleeping. Air Steward starts getting pissed off, I snap at DH to put the bloody seat up. He does so reluctantly and DS does not wake.

Once everything is cleared away he puts the seat fully back again. The woman complains that he’s doing that out of badness because “the kid” is still asleep. Her OH confirms that yes, DH is a twat.

My take on it is that both were being unreasonable at different times. My sister however says this was all on DH.

OP posts:
PhantomOfAllKnowledge · 08/01/2026 17:51

I think airlines deliberately retain reclining seats in the knowledge they cause passenger friction and discomfort, to encourage people to pay for upgraded flights.

matercatta · 08/01/2026 17:49

@pottymouth40 you should not recline until
after the meal service otherwise people can’t really sit and eat properly

AgnesMcDoo · 08/01/2026 17:49

you don’t recline during drinks and meals so DH is BU and your DS is 4 and would have had plenty room without reclining

DrPrunesqualer · 08/01/2026 17:49

HeddaGarbled · 08/01/2026 17:39

If someone reclined their seat into my space at the very beginning of a 7 hour flight, I’d cry.

Bring your laptop on flights and put it on the table in front of you whilst the lights are still on

If it’s a night time or long flight remove it when the lights are put out and if someone reclines in front of you then you can do the same
Job done

( I’ve never been on a plane that has really tight seats though, but no one reclines ime if you’ve got your laptop out )

RudolphRNR · 08/01/2026 17:49

This was all on your “D”H. He was rude, selfish, arrogant. He started it, he continued it. No one reclines until after the food/drink is finished, 99% of people then only recline on a night flight, and a 4-year-old doesn’t need a seat reclined anyway. Above all else, don’t argue with the cabin crew when they ask you to do something (or not to do something!), that’s the ultimate idiotic behaviour.

Ihatetomatoes · 08/01/2026 17:48

Arguing with cabin crew can get idiots removed from planes. You husband is an idiot and a twat who was unreasonable.

BobblyBobbleHat · 08/01/2026 17:48

pottymouth40 · 08/01/2026 17:47

Who says?

Show quote history

Meals and drinks yes, not the night thing though as people are likely to be on a variety of different time zones so 'night' can be any time on a plane.

stichguru · 08/01/2026 17:48

Airplanes should either be built with seats far enough apart to recline or with non-reclining seats!

matercatta · 08/01/2026 17:48

PerpetualBurnout · 08/01/2026 17:30

I’ve never been on a flight but I’m wondering why do they have reclining seats if it’s not acceptable to recline them ??

Convention is its polite to recline once the meal service has been cleared and not before

upstairsdownstairscardboardbox · 08/01/2026 17:47

@Clefable do you think it was reasonable to argue with the Cabin Crew?

pottymouth40 · 08/01/2026 17:47

PhuckTrump · 08/01/2026 17:34

You should really only be reclining during an overnight flight, and even then after the meal service.

Who says?

NewYearSameYou · 08/01/2026 17:46

Was it an overnight flight?

purpleme12 · 08/01/2026 17:46

So the seat was tipped back so she had less room?

I think your husband was being unreasonable the whole time

BobblyBobbleHat · 08/01/2026 17:46

Everyone knows you can recline unless food and drinks are being served. Both adults should be able to remain polite during such an interaction though, is your dh always so childish? The child was comfy and sleeping so he really didn't need to act like a stroppy toddler.

searchforthesun · 08/01/2026 17:45

I can’t watch the TV in front of me if the person reclines their seat as it’s too close. It’s rude to recline unless it’s a night flight, especially for a child that can lay across you.
your husband sounds awful and did he think it was ok to argue with the air steward trying to do their job?
you both sound entitled.

Ophy83 · 08/01/2026 17:45

If DS was in between you he could have cuddled up against one of you with his legs across the other. That might not be as comfy for you but why should someone else be made more uncomfortable? It's horrible having a seat reclining into your very limited space and should only be done at night when everyone is doing the same

dynamiccactus · 08/01/2026 17:45

ThroughTheRedDoor · 08/01/2026 17:30

Ach. One of the risks of air travel is that the person in the seat in front will recline it.

Until airlines stop having reclining seats people are going to recline them.

It really is time the airlines stopped it for short haul flights.

However, just because you can, doesn't mean you must.

EchoesOfOurDreams · 08/01/2026 17:45

Yep your DH was being a cunt, sorry.

Why did he even need to keep reclining the seat when DS was asleep for the whole flight? A 4 year old who can sleep in a upright seat does not need the seat reclining.

pottymouth40 · 08/01/2026 17:44

ThroughTheRedDoor · 08/01/2026 17:30

Ach. One of the risks of air travel is that the person in the seat in front will recline it.

Until airlines stop having reclining seats people are going to recline them.

This.

I don’t get these responses at all. If someone on a plane reclines their seat, I would just recline mine too. I expect people to recline their seat if it’s reclinable!

Your 4yo child was asleep.

Did the woman really think your dh was going to go out of his way to be nice after she’d called him a twat?

reclining seats are there so people can recline, especially on long haul flights.

It’s really entitled to expect you can kick off and call someone awful names bc someone reclines their seat.

TaffetaPhrases · 08/01/2026 17:44

Completely selfish.

CremeEggsForBreakfast · 08/01/2026 17:43

If the air steward told him to put it up then he should but honestly, what's the point of reclining seats if you're not allowed to recline them. Overall, I think she was the most unreasonable.

Denbyregency · 08/01/2026 17:43

I would ban him from the airline on the grounds that he didn’t obey an instruction from the steward.

DrPrunesqualer · 08/01/2026 17:43

Topseyt123 · 08/01/2026 17:39

Perhaps she couldn't if her DS was seated on the other side of her DH from her, so she would have had to have leant across him first?

She doesn't say, but that's my guess.

Show quote history

It seems OP trusts the judgement of her dh too much
When asked why he didn’t put the seat up she said her dh said he would get a stiff neck
not
she thought her ds would get a stiff neck

Time for OP to step up me thinks
lean across if she has to and do the right thing
Time to ignore her thoroughly unreasonable and entitled dh

DorisTheFinkasaurus · 08/01/2026 17:42

Out of thoughtfulness for others, I tend not to recline my seat. But your DH was fully entitled to recline. I mean, reclining is an option on a flight.
Flying comes with so much discomfort which most of us shrug off. I mean, it was a 7 hour flight, not a life sentence. I understand the woman’s annoyance but I don’t think it was worth the confrontation. Both your DH and the woman could have done better.

TheWytch · 08/01/2026 17:41

All on DH. It's horrible having the seat in front practically in your lap.