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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you inform the school?

465 replies

Winterstorms2 · 08/01/2026 16:34

My friend recently got into an argument with her friend. The argument started off as a conversation which quickly turned into an argument, (my friends friend accusing her of things, name calling her etc) in the end my friend was spat at. She was horrified but does not want to do anything about it. My friend’s “friend” is a teacher. AIBU to think my friend should inform the school of this behaviour? Im tempted to do so myself! Our children both attend the school she teaches at. What would you feelings be?

OP posts:
AutumnAllTheWay · 09/01/2026 18:14

Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 16:45

Nah, i can take just about anything, including letting people know when they are in the wrong, let’s not sugar coat this or minimise this, you try being spat at, or knowing that your friend went through it, or do you enjoy injustice?

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Nobody, literally nobody has said spitting is ok.

Do you have a pattern of making things up? To win arguments?

Because that says alot too.

CunningLinguist2 · 09/01/2026 17:53

OP’s sounding like a spiteful cow. Can’t entirely say I wholeheartedly don’t understand the other person anymore

Original poster
Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 17:35

pollythecat · 09/01/2026 17:29

If you are suggesting the OP is lying why bother commending at all? It’s fairly clear cut - she either spat at someone or she didn’t. If she did there is no excuse and she should face the consequences of her actions whether that’s a talking to by the police or through her work.

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Thank you, i have never seen such a place for assuming OP’s are lying! Ive seen it on plenty of threads and it’smind-boggling.

OP posts:
pollythecat · 09/01/2026 17:29

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 09/01/2026 17:23

Well it makes everything being said something that should be taken with a pinch of salt...

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If you are suggesting the OP is lying why bother commending at all? It’s fairly clear cut - she either spat at someone or she didn’t. If she did there is no excuse and she should face the consequences of her actions whether that’s a talking to by the police or through her work.

SevenYellowHammers · 09/01/2026 17:28

I do believe there is an expectation that teachers conduct themselves with proprietary in public life and spitting is exceptionally poor behaviour. I can see OPs point but I think it should be up to the friend to report to school or police if she feels she should. If this was a one off then perhaps it should be left as is, however if the teacher continues to act like this then it could be she’s bringing school into disrepute. Overall, I think cut the teacher some slack on this occasion. As a wise PP pointed out, would you feel need to report if she wasn’t a teacher?

Original poster
Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 17:28

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 09/01/2026 17:23

Well it makes everything being said something that should be taken with a pinch of salt...

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Take it as you will. Facts are facts and wrong is wrong.

OP posts:
BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 09/01/2026 17:23

pollythecat · 09/01/2026 16:52

So what if she does? Does that make spitting at someone ok? Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. The disgusting woman only has herself to blame.

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Well it makes everything being said something that should be taken with a pinch of salt...

Original poster
Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 16:59

pollythecat · 09/01/2026 16:52

So what if she does? Does that make spitting at someone ok? Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. The disgusting woman only has herself to blame.

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thank you, a grudge is neither here nor there but spitting in itself is enough to make anyone hold a grudge against you!

OP posts:
pollythecat · 09/01/2026 16:52

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 09/01/2026 16:51

Yep no alternative motive here

You don't have any kind of grudge

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So what if she does? Does that make spitting at someone ok? Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. The disgusting woman only has herself to blame.

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 09/01/2026 16:51

Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 14:16

Well no, its a shitty person doing shitty things and getting away with them in a goading manner simply because she thinks she is untouchable. The motive is to not allow such a shitty person teach our children to be shitty people by showing her she cannot get away with things

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Yep no alternative motive here

You don't have any kind of grudge

Badgerstmary · 09/01/2026 16:46

Well done to your friend for having the courage to report this. The teacher will know that it is completely inappropriate behaviour & I would not be happy if my children had been taught by somebody who behaved like this in public.

Original poster
Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 16:45

AutumnAllTheWay · 09/01/2026 16:39

Youre coming across a bit as someone who takes offence and it explains alot

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Nah, i can take just about anything, including letting people know when they are in the wrong, let’s not sugar coat this or minimise this, you try being spat at, or knowing that your friend went through it, or do you enjoy injustice?

OP posts:
Original poster
Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 16:42

pollythecat · 09/01/2026 16:41

Good for you op. I have been spat at before and can honestly say it’s the most disgusting, degrading thing to happen to me. I’d probably rather be punched in the face than spat at.

If it had been a man who spat at your friend the replies probably would have been different.

Exactly, its disgusting and degrading and shows utter disregard and disrespect

OP posts:
pollythecat · 09/01/2026 16:41

Good for you op. I have been spat at before and can honestly say it’s the most disgusting, degrading thing to happen to me. I’d probably rather be punched in the face than spat at.

If it had been a man who spat at your friend the replies probably would have been different.

AutumnAllTheWay · 09/01/2026 16:39

Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 16:07

Mwahahahaaaa your all wild in mumsnet world truly 😂 what a place!

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Youre coming across a bit as someone who takes offence and it explains alot

Original poster
Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 16:35

Look. Thank you for all of your feedback. Apologies for getting a little bit sarcastic towards the end there, your stories and ways of filling in the gaps with your own conspiracies amused me far too much. The point is, I know my friend, I know the teacher, I know myself. I know the situation and friend will be reporting because the individual in question needs to be stopped. So thank you.ll

OP posts:
pollythecat · 09/01/2026 16:33

Can’t believe one poster has actually said that they feel sorry for the person who spat at someone else. Regardless of the OP’s motives, it’s a fucking vile thing to do and if she wasn’t such a disgusting lout she wouldn’t need to worry about people ‘obsessing’ over her. When you get people defending this sort of behaviour purely to stick the boot into the op it shows how contradictory this place can be.

Agonyaunt2026 · 09/01/2026 16:30

Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 16:29

really? By the way some of you are creating your own lil conspiracy theories I couldnt tell 😂😂

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Correct us 🙏

Boomer55 · 09/01/2026 16:30

Teachers are allowed opinions. 🤷‍♀️. Of course no one should fe reporting anything. You all need to grow up. 🙄

Original poster
Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 16:29

Agonyaunt2026 · 09/01/2026 16:28

You go on MN to ask if it’s a good idea or not.

And here we are…

You’ll need to fill in the blanks and the ending I’m afraid…it’s your story.

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really? By the way some of you are creating your own lil conspiracy theories I couldnt tell 😂😂

OP posts:
Agonyaunt2026 · 09/01/2026 16:28

Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 16:25

I love it! Thats a great one! What happens next? This is getting juicy 👀👀

Edited
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You go on MN to ask if it’s a good idea or not.

And here we are…

You’ll need to fill in the blanks and the ending I’m afraid…it’s your story.

Original poster
Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 16:25

Agonyaunt2026 · 09/01/2026 16:19

Great!

Are you the friend?
What did you say to her?
What line of work are you in?

A theory - your husband fancies the pants off her and you don’t like it! Created an unnecessary argument, leading to vile language and accusations and so she spat at you! You hate her, and would like to bring her down a peg or two (and for your hubby never to see her again). The only way you can think of is to get her sacked!

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I love it! Thats a great one! What happens next? This is getting juicy 👀👀

OP posts:
Agonyaunt2026 · 09/01/2026 16:19

Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 15:54

Have I? Im still here 😂

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Great!

Are you the friend?
What did you say to her?
What line of work are you in?

A theory - your husband fancies the pants off her and you don’t like it! Created an unnecessary argument, leading to vile language and accusations and so she spat at you! You hate her, and would like to bring her down a peg or two (and for your hubby never to see her again). The only way you can think of is to get her sacked!

Original poster
Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 16:13

BlackCat14 · 09/01/2026 16:12

You Included, clearly!

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🙃🙃

OP posts:
BlackCat14 · 09/01/2026 16:12

Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 16:07

Mwahahahaaaa your all wild in mumsnet world truly 😂 what a place!

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You Included, clearly!

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