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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would you inform the school?

465 replies

Winterstorms2 · 08/01/2026 16:34

My friend recently got into an argument with her friend. The argument started off as a conversation which quickly turned into an argument, (my friends friend accusing her of things, name calling her etc) in the end my friend was spat at. She was horrified but does not want to do anything about it. My friend’s “friend” is a teacher. AIBU to think my friend should inform the school of this behaviour? Im tempted to do so myself! Our children both attend the school she teaches at. What would you feelings be?

OP posts:
Bushmillsbabe · 09/01/2026 21:42

Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 20:39

Because sometimes in life, you wait, you see how things pan out, is it bullying? Isnt it? Hindsight is helpful here, watching patterns in her actions emerging time and time again. Was she intimidating on purpose? Or does it just come across that way? Oh she did it again? Hm, maybe she is doing it on purpose. She spat? Im sorry WHAT?!!

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You made it sound like she had been really awful for long period of time 'hell and havoc' 'she really is an awful person' bullying and intimidating and behaving like she was untouchable were some of the phrases you used earlier. And now it sounds like you weren't sure enough if she was doing any of it on purpose to feel he need to escalate it. If I thought a teachers behaviour was causing 'hell' for my child, I wouldn't wait around to see how it 'panned out'! Unfortunately not raising it earlier will make it look like a vexatious complaint rather than a true issue.

I hope, for the children's sake, this all gets resolved quickly. Having this animosity between teachers and parents is definitely not in the children's or the schools best interests, whoever is to blame.

Original poster
Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 20:58

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 09/01/2026 20:49

Well we don't know do we?

Because you just keep saying "disagreement" and "argument"

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But you being a nosey bugger wouldn’t help though would it? Ive got the info i needed from the thread, without having to enlighten you 👍

OP posts:
VickyEadieofThigh · 09/01/2026 20:58

Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 20:39

Because sometimes in life, you wait, you see how things pan out, is it bullying? Isnt it? Hindsight is helpful here, watching patterns in her actions emerging time and time again. Was she intimidating on purpose? Or does it just come across that way? Oh she did it again? Hm, maybe she is doing it on purpose. She spat? Im sorry WHAT?!!

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And were these things you think she might have been doing (and your hyperbole in earlier posts suggested it was pretty bad) in school?

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 09/01/2026 20:49

Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 20:37

But seeing as though none of that happened

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Well we don't know do we?

Because you just keep saying "disagreement" and "argument"

Original poster
Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 20:39

VickyEadieofThigh · 09/01/2026 20:36

I've asked before - why haven't you reported the teacher to the head for the things you've accused her of, such as bullying?

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Because sometimes in life, you wait, you see how things pan out, is it bullying? Isnt it? Hindsight is helpful here, watching patterns in her actions emerging time and time again. Was she intimidating on purpose? Or does it just come across that way? Oh she did it again? Hm, maybe she is doing it on purpose. She spat? Im sorry WHAT?!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 20:37

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 09/01/2026 20:33

Context is relevant

Spitting is gross but I would feel differently if the spitting was after being called a slag, a whore, had my kids insulted etc compared to after being told to go away

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But seeing as though none of that happened

OP posts:
VickyEadieofThigh · 09/01/2026 20:36

Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 18:51

yes I’ve previously said this please read the whole thread and keep up before commenting.

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I've asked before - why haven't you reported the teacher to the head for the things you've accused her of, such as bullying?

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 09/01/2026 20:33

Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 19:33

Thank you, spiting is spitting provoked or unprovoked, the context of the argument has nothing to do with it

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Context is relevant

Spitting is gross but I would feel differently if the spitting was after being called a slag, a whore, had my kids insulted etc compared to after being told to go away

Bushmillsbabe · 09/01/2026 20:29

Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 20:21

And yes fair process needs to be followed for ALL not just in favour of the poor teacher with a witch hunt against her!!

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Yes, I suggested that if you had issues with her conduct in school prior to this event, you and your friend should have followed the school complaints process, followed by the ofsted process if you didn't feel the school investigation was fair and thorough. I was also in favour of reporting to the police, who would do an investigation. How does that suggest I'm not keen on fair process for all?

Original poster
Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 20:21

Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 20:17

“rather than a bunch of mums deciding to go after a teacher because they feel like it. If they had a reasonable issue with her then they would have followed school process for complaints, then LA or ofsted. So either they haven't followed due process, or they have and their complaints were unfounded.”

This is your opinion and a fabricated little story on your part, not reality, all of which is completely incorrect but thanks for your input anyway. There is no bunch of mums, myself and my friend are mothers at the school she teaches, but where did you get the part about a bunch of mums?

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And yes fair process needs to be followed for ALL not just in favour of the poor teacher with a witch hunt against her!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 20:17

Bushmillsbabe · 09/01/2026 20:03

Yes, most people have suggested its reported to the police, thats the appropriate consequence. They can investigate, look at cctv, take statements and create a balanced outcome. .

However, what OP seems to be after is an automatic sacking based on hearsay by going to the school, out of an ongoing personal vendetta.

If this teacher is found guilty, she may end up with a criminal record which could end up with her loosing her job anyway, but fair process needs to be followed, rather than a bunch of mums deciding to go after a teacher because they feel like it. If they had a reasonable issue with her then they would have followed school process for complaints, then LA or ofsted. So either they haven't followed due process, or they have and their complaints were unfounded.

Edited
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“rather than a bunch of mums deciding to go after a teacher because they feel like it. If they had a reasonable issue with her then they would have followed school process for complaints, then LA or ofsted. So either they haven't followed due process, or they have and their complaints were unfounded.”

This is your opinion and a fabricated little story on your part, not reality, all of which is completely incorrect but thanks for your input anyway. There is no bunch of mums, myself and my friend are mothers at the school she teaches, but where did you get the part about a bunch of mums?

OP posts:
pollythecat · 09/01/2026 20:17

Bushmillsbabe · 09/01/2026 20:03

Yes, most people have suggested its reported to the police, thats the appropriate consequence. They can investigate, look at cctv, take statements and create a balanced outcome. .

However, what OP seems to be after is an automatic sacking based on hearsay by going to the school, out of an ongoing personal vendetta.

If this teacher is found guilty, she may end up with a criminal record which could end up with her loosing her job anyway, but fair process needs to be followed, rather than a bunch of mums deciding to go after a teacher because they feel like it. If they had a reasonable issue with her then they would have followed school process for complaints, then LA or ofsted. So either they haven't followed due process, or they have and their complaints were unfounded.

Edited
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I didn’t say reporting to the school was the right course of action only that she should be reported somewhere and she shouldn’t get away with such vile behaviour.

Bushmillsbabe · 09/01/2026 20:03

pollythecat · 09/01/2026 19:14

And equally people can respond to your comments. There is no manipulating or exaggerating when it comes to someone spitting on another person. If it happened there is no grey area. It is disgusting, immoral behaviour and she shouldn’t get away with it. Regardless of what you think of op are you really going to defend it and say she shouldn’t face the consequences?

Show quote history

Yes, most people have suggested its reported to the police, thats the appropriate consequence. They can investigate, look at cctv, take statements and create a balanced outcome. .

However, what OP seems to be after is an automatic sacking based on hearsay by going to the school, out of an ongoing personal vendetta.

If this teacher is found guilty, she may end up with a criminal record which could end up with her loosing her job anyway, but fair process needs to be followed, rather than a bunch of mums deciding to go after a teacher because they feel like it. If they had a reasonable issue with her then they would have followed school process for complaints, then LA or ofsted. So either they haven't followed due process, or they have and their complaints were unfounded.

Bushmillsbabe · 09/01/2026 19:52

Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 18:47

Well yes you cant go around spitting on people and creating hell and havoc in others lives without accountability just because you are a teacher… which is what she is doing.

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Exactly what 'hell and havoc' is she creating, all this hyperbole and no actual concrete detail makes this all much less believable.

This sounds very personal and nothing to do with her role as a teacher to your child. But then you are making it about her being a teacher.

Original poster
Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 19:33

pollythecat · 09/01/2026 19:14

And equally people can respond to your comments. There is no manipulating or exaggerating when it comes to someone spitting on another person. If it happened there is no grey area. It is disgusting, immoral behaviour and she shouldn’t get away with it. Regardless of what you think of op are you really going to defend it and say she shouldn’t face the consequences?

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Thank you, spiting is spitting provoked or unprovoked, the context of the argument has nothing to do with it

OP posts:
pollythecat · 09/01/2026 19:14

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 09/01/2026 18:28

Not lying. Just manipulating or exaggerating facts to suit her bias

I've been commenting since before OP revealed her true colours, I can continue to comment and question.

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And equally people can respond to your comments. There is no manipulating or exaggerating when it comes to someone spitting on another person. If it happened there is no grey area. It is disgusting, immoral behaviour and she shouldn’t get away with it. Regardless of what you think of op are you really going to defend it and say she shouldn’t face the consequences?

Original poster
Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 18:51

PennyLaneisinmyheartandmysoul · 09/01/2026 18:50

Ahh… she’s creating hell and havoc now… and your friend is/was friends with her

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yes I’ve previously said this please read the whole thread and keep up before commenting.

OP posts:
PennyLaneisinmyheartandmysoul · 09/01/2026 18:50

Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 18:47

Well yes you cant go around spitting on people and creating hell and havoc in others lives without accountability just because you are a teacher… which is what she is doing.

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Ahh… she’s creating hell and havoc now… and your friend is/was friends with her

Original poster
Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 18:48

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 09/01/2026 18:26

And a grudge is a grudge and a bias is a bias

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And your lack of knowledge on the situation is lack of knowledge

OP posts:
Original poster
Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 18:47

PennyLaneisinmyheartandmysoul · 09/01/2026 18:35

Needs to be stopped?!

Well yes you cant go around spitting on people and creating hell and havoc in others lives without accountability just because you are a teacher… which is what she is doing.

OP posts:
PennyLaneisinmyheartandmysoul · 09/01/2026 18:35

Needs to be stopped?!

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 09/01/2026 18:28

pollythecat · 09/01/2026 17:29

If you are suggesting the OP is lying why bother commending at all? It’s fairly clear cut - she either spat at someone or she didn’t. If she did there is no excuse and she should face the consequences of her actions whether that’s a talking to by the police or through her work.

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Not lying. Just manipulating or exaggerating facts to suit her bias

I've been commenting since before OP revealed her true colours, I can continue to comment and question.

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 09/01/2026 18:26

Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 17:28

Take it as you will. Facts are facts and wrong is wrong.

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And a grudge is a grudge and a bias is a bias

Original poster
Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 18:19

AutumnAllTheWay · 09/01/2026 18:14

Nobody, literally nobody has said spitting is ok.

Do you have a pattern of making things up? To win arguments?

Because that says alot too.

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Its been minamised, read through em and you yourself stop making things up

OP posts:
X123x321X · 09/01/2026 18:16

Anyone who is so lacking in class that they spit on someone deserves everything they get, however this is none of your business.