Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you inform the school?

465 replies

Winterstorms2 · 08/01/2026 16:34

My friend recently got into an argument with her friend. The argument started off as a conversation which quickly turned into an argument, (my friends friend accusing her of things, name calling her etc) in the end my friend was spat at. She was horrified but does not want to do anything about it. My friend’s “friend” is a teacher. AIBU to think my friend should inform the school of this behaviour? Im tempted to do so myself! Our children both attend the school she teaches at. What would you feelings be?

OP posts:
BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 11/01/2026 13:37

MustWeDoThis · 11/01/2026 12:44

Report her. Teacher's behaviour outside of school are also meant to represent good principles. Imagine how she treats children if they misbehave! I wouldn't like her around any child! Not reporting her is just complicit!

Show quote history

People are capable of handling issues with adults and issues with children differently

Original poster
Winterstorms2 · 11/01/2026 13:28

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 11/01/2026 09:39

Grey areas:
Teacher spat on the floor not in the friend's face
Friend threw a glass of water/wine/whatever in teacher's face and she was actually spitting out the water that hit her
Teacher didn't even spit, it's exaggerated by someone with a vendetta against her
Friend had been saying the vilest and cruelest things to Teacher and, whilst disgusting, she resorted to the one thing she hoped would make the Friend stop (think how technically shoving someone who is getting closer to you and won't leave you alone is assault but everyone would understand your reasoning)

Well thank you for that entirely incorrect conclusion of events. Fascinating, truly. I will be sure to update this thread when all appropriate action has been taken. You sound like the sort of person who would tell a woman who was raped “well you had a short skirt on you were probably asking for it” “be careful your not lying about it now, you do know police will investigate you as well” “are you sure you didn’t provoke the bloke first?” Disgusting. Take a look at yourself and the kind of people and behaviours you are actively advocating.

OP posts:
Original poster
Winterstorms2 · 11/01/2026 13:22

SharpFox · 11/01/2026 13:04

Well, it's assault. If your friend reported it to the police, they might inform the school. Better coming from police than a parent. She sounds gross. What's she like normally??

Shes an unpleasant person generally who actively uses her position as a teacher to get away with things. “They wont do anything with me” “they need me there” “no one will get rid of me” etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
Winterstorms2 · 11/01/2026 13:21

YourHangryPlayer · 11/01/2026 12:24

What does this have to do with you. Do you go running off everytime u see someone do something wrong and grass them up to their bosses?? Defo Karen behaviour!

Show quote history

Of course it is 🙄

OP posts:
SharpFox · 11/01/2026 13:04

Well, it's assault. If your friend reported it to the police, they might inform the school. Better coming from police than a parent. She sounds gross. What's she like normally??

pollythecat · 11/01/2026 12:47

Some people are really clutching at straws now to excuse spitting at someone. Mind boggling.

MustWeDoThis · 11/01/2026 12:44

Winterstorms2 · 08/01/2026 16:34

My friend recently got into an argument with her friend. The argument started off as a conversation which quickly turned into an argument, (my friends friend accusing her of things, name calling her etc) in the end my friend was spat at. She was horrified but does not want to do anything about it. My friend’s “friend” is a teacher. AIBU to think my friend should inform the school of this behaviour? Im tempted to do so myself! Our children both attend the school she teaches at. What would you feelings be?

Report her. Teacher's behaviour outside of school are also meant to represent good principles. Imagine how she treats children if they misbehave! I wouldn't like her around any child! Not reporting her is just complicit!

Poodlelove · 11/01/2026 12:33

If you weren't there and saw it actually happen I wouldn't do anything .
Imagine if she lost her job and she was say a single parent / widow and had just had an awful day , as most days as a teacher can be if you are struggling .
I don't think it's right , it should not have happened , but that is up to your friend to decide.

Superhansrantowindsor · 11/01/2026 12:26

Not your business at all. If the friend what’s to raise it with school that’s up to her.

YourHangryPlayer · 11/01/2026 12:24

Winterstorms2 · 08/01/2026 16:34

My friend recently got into an argument with her friend. The argument started off as a conversation which quickly turned into an argument, (my friends friend accusing her of things, name calling her etc) in the end my friend was spat at. She was horrified but does not want to do anything about it. My friend’s “friend” is a teacher. AIBU to think my friend should inform the school of this behaviour? Im tempted to do so myself! Our children both attend the school she teaches at. What would you feelings be?

What does this have to do with you. Do you go running off everytime u see someone do something wrong and grass them up to their bosses?? Defo Karen behaviour!

Mimzy26 · 11/01/2026 12:14

Nothing to do with you or the school

Meeziemee · 11/01/2026 12:05

I think it is up to the person who was spat at to decide if they want to report to the employer or to the police, assuming no children witnessed the incident. If children did witness it, then I think you should report it to the school.

If no children were present, then you could make the person who was spat at aware that you feel such behaviour is totally unacceptable and remind her that it is assault and she could inform the police and/or the school. But maybe not take direct action yourself?

AmbeeBambee · 11/01/2026 12:02

Winterstorms2 · 08/01/2026 16:34

My friend recently got into an argument with her friend. The argument started off as a conversation which quickly turned into an argument, (my friends friend accusing her of things, name calling her etc) in the end my friend was spat at. She was horrified but does not want to do anything about it. My friend’s “friend” is a teacher. AIBU to think my friend should inform the school of this behaviour? Im tempted to do so myself! Our children both attend the school she teaches at. What would you feelings be?

She spat at the friend on the school grounds?

permanently · 11/01/2026 09:54

Well I’m Team OP!

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 11/01/2026 09:39

Grey areas:
Teacher spat on the floor not in the friend's face
Friend threw a glass of water/wine/whatever in teacher's face and she was actually spitting out the water that hit her
Teacher didn't even spit, it's exaggerated by someone with a vendetta against her
Friend had been saying the vilest and cruelest things to Teacher and, whilst disgusting, she resorted to the one thing she hoped would make the Friend stop (think how technically shoving someone who is getting closer to you and won't leave you alone is assault but everyone would understand your reasoning)

Bushmillsbabe · 11/01/2026 09:20

pollythecat · 10/01/2026 21:56

Where’s the grey area? She spat or she didn’t. It’s not difficult.

Show quote history

There are numerous grey areas, holes and general craziness in this story, and when inconsistencies start to show, it brings the whole story into question.

It may be that this teacher actually spat accidentally whilst coughing. It may be that it didn't happen at all. OP wasn't there, she may not know the whole story - people generally only tell you what they want you to know.

As the saying goes, there's my truth your truth and the truth. And the truth is something we mumsnetters will I suspect never get to know.

pollythecat · 10/01/2026 21:56

CremeEggsForBreakfast · 10/01/2026 21:14

A few pages ago someone asked if you disliked the teacher and you replied "not until she spat at my friend" and then you suddenly reveal that she's made people's lives "hell" and you do, in fact, have a bit of a vendetta against the teacher.

I'm not saying the incident didn't happen but I am assuming it didn't happen quite as you portray.

Where’s the grey area? She spat or she didn’t. It’s not difficult.

CremeEggsForBreakfast · 10/01/2026 21:14

A few pages ago someone asked if you disliked the teacher and you replied "not until she spat at my friend" and then you suddenly reveal that she's made people's lives "hell" and you do, in fact, have a bit of a vendetta against the teacher.

I'm not saying the incident didn't happen but I am assuming it didn't happen quite as you portray.

Bushmillsbabe · 10/01/2026 09:53

No one has said that spitting is ok, or your friend is wrong to go to the police.

You made a post asking whether you would be unreasonable to tell the school yourself, and you were told yes, this would be unreasonable by the majority of posters.

They have questioned your motives in wanting to go straight to the school, and the reliability of your story, which has changed through this thread.

You have said that she is well known to be nasty, intimidating, bully etc, but when I suggested that a group of mums wanted to sort this out with the school you said it was only you and your friend. So no one else has an issue with her? Which again suggests that this is personal rather than related to her abilities as a teacher. When my daughter had a teacher who was a bully, at least 8 parents from a class of 18 approached the school with their concerns, which were specifically related to her behaviour in the classroom. Most parents wouldn't let their 'fear' of the teacher prevent them from protecting their child if they were that concerned. It's a teacher, not a mafia boss! Worst case scenario the school doesn't act and you move your child's to a different school.

Tiswa · 10/01/2026 01:21

Winterstorms2 · 10/01/2026 00:12

I’ve been made out to be a spiteful dishonest snake, bitch, trouble maker etc… because someone spat on my friend, and my friend was too worried to take this further all because that person was a teacher. Only on mumsnet!!

Show quote history

Really that is what you take from this?

Original poster
Winterstorms2 · 10/01/2026 00:12

LLJETO · 09/01/2026 23:31

I can’t believe how batshit this place is sometimes. Someone gets spit on and people are making excuses because it’s teacher. Can you imagine if it was a man, the replies would be completely different.

I’ve been made out to be a spiteful dishonest snake, bitch, trouble maker etc… because someone spat on my friend, and my friend was too worried to take this further all because that person was a teacher. Only on mumsnet!!

OP posts:
LLJETO · 09/01/2026 23:31

I can’t believe how batshit this place is sometimes. Someone gets spit on and people are making excuses because it’s teacher. Can you imagine if it was a man, the replies would be completely different.

Original poster
Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 23:09

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

And you look, its being reported to the police, the thread was resolved a fair few pages back. If wanting what is right and morally correct makes me spiteful and horrible so be it, I will gladly were that title to put this person in their place

OP posts:
AutumnAllTheWay · 09/01/2026 22:43

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 09/01/2026 21:44

Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 20:58

But you being a nosey bugger wouldn’t help though would it? Ive got the info i needed from the thread, without having to enlighten you 👍

Show quote history

Then you can't complain that we draw our own conclusions or ask questions...

Swipe left for the next trending thread