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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would you inform the school?

465 replies

Winterstorms2 · 08/01/2026 16:34

My friend recently got into an argument with her friend. The argument started off as a conversation which quickly turned into an argument, (my friends friend accusing her of things, name calling her etc) in the end my friend was spat at. She was horrified but does not want to do anything about it. My friend’s “friend” is a teacher. AIBU to think my friend should inform the school of this behaviour? Im tempted to do so myself! Our children both attend the school she teaches at. What would you feelings be?

OP posts:
BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 12/01/2026 15:04

Winterstorms2 · 12/01/2026 14:50

There is literally no point going to the police with an empty vendetta? You do know that dont you? Fair enough if i were to say, no one saw this happen and no one can prove it, but were going to the police anyway, i would understand your point. But given that is not the case im not white sure what you are trying to achive.

Edited
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But you haven't even tried going to the head about the apparently very long standing issues with this teacher...

Original poster
Winterstorms2 · 12/01/2026 14:50

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 12/01/2026 14:41

Because of the very clear vendetta you have against her?

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There is literally no point going to the police with an empty vendetta? You do know that dont you? Fair enough if i were to say, no one saw this happen and no one can prove it, but were going to the police anyway, i would understand your point. But given that is not the case im not white sure what you are trying to achive.

OP posts:
Original poster
Winterstorms2 · 12/01/2026 14:48

Lightuptheroom · 12/01/2026 14:44

I haven't said anywhere that you've contradicted yourself? I'm simply stating that an incident report is not proof of a pattern of behaviour. An incident report isn't anything other than someone reporting an allegation, in reality its literally an individual reporting something to the police.
I don't have any intention of correcting anyone, simply that fact is an incident report won't be on anyone's behaviour record and wouldn't be attached to any future allegations, which is how I read one of your previous comments.
Time for me to move on. Hopefully you've gained the answer to your first question, no, it's not something people would report to a school as that's for the police to do.

And I have no where insinuated on here at all that I was under the impression that it would be attached to a behaviour record , that was your misunderstanding. And yes it was established a while ago that I had got what I wanted from the thread, my friend will be going to the police to report. Good day to you.

OP posts:
Lightuptheroom · 12/01/2026 14:44

I haven't said anywhere that you've contradicted yourself? I'm simply stating that an incident report is not proof of a pattern of behaviour. An incident report isn't anything other than someone reporting an allegation, in reality its literally an individual reporting something to the police.
I don't have any intention of correcting anyone, simply that fact is an incident report won't be on anyone's behaviour record and wouldn't be attached to any future allegations, which is how I read one of your previous comments.
Time for me to move on. Hopefully you've gained the answer to your first question, no, it's not something people would report to a school as that's for the police to do.

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 12/01/2026 14:41

Winterstorms2 · 12/01/2026 14:37

But of course if the teacher does not cause another incident there is nothing to report. You are insinuating that my friend or i intend to continually report this individual for things she has not done? With no witnesses or cctv or evidence? Why on earth would we do that? If she has not done anything, there is nothing report?

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Because of the very clear vendetta you have against her?

Original poster
Winterstorms2 · 12/01/2026 14:37

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 12/01/2026 14:29

Which, if anything, could become a harassment case against the reporter

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But of course if the teacher does not cause another incident there is nothing to report. You are insinuating that my friend or i intend to continually report this individual for things she has not done? With no witnesses or cctv or evidence? Why on earth would we do that? If she has not done anything, there is nothing report?

OP posts:
Original poster
Winterstorms2 · 12/01/2026 14:35

Lightuptheroom · 12/01/2026 14:28

It doesn't provide a pattern of behaviour. It's literally repeated allegations.

Yes it does if there is something there to report of course it does. And no i am not contradicting myself, you’ve just realised you thought I meant “she would have a criminal record just because an incident was reported”. You can now see that is not what I meant and rather than say, wps I see what you mean now you are saying that I am contradicting myself.

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Lightuptheroom · 12/01/2026 14:30

@ brief, exactly.

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 12/01/2026 14:29

Lightuptheroom · 12/01/2026 14:28

It doesn't provide a pattern of behaviour. It's literally repeated allegations.

Which, if anything, could become a harassment case against the reporter

Lightuptheroom · 12/01/2026 14:28

It doesn't provide a pattern of behaviour. It's literally repeated allegations.

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 12/01/2026 14:27

Winterstorms2 · 12/01/2026 14:25

Unfortunately this is how a lot of domestic violence cases go as well,…incident reporting is always worth doing

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This isn't the same thing though

You're talking absolutely BS and contradicting yourself left, right and centre

Original poster
Winterstorms2 · 12/01/2026 14:25

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 12/01/2026 14:23

And teacher could rightly say "that incident was nothing more than an allegation, no action was taken. It proves nothing"
Else you could make allegation after allegation about someone and have one taken seriously because "there were previous ones"

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Unfortunately this is how a lot of domestic violence cases go as well,…incident reporting is always worth doing

OP posts:
Original poster
Winterstorms2 · 12/01/2026 14:24

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 12/01/2026 14:23

And teacher could rightly say "that incident was nothing more than an allegation, no action was taken. It proves nothing"
Else you could make allegation after allegation about someone and have one taken seriously because "there were previous ones"

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It certainly helps prove a pattern of behaviour

OP posts:
Original poster
Winterstorms2 · 12/01/2026 14:23

Lightuptheroom · 12/01/2026 14:16

A police record of an incident can't be passed on. Your last few posts indicate that you've realised that this won't be going on anyone's record.

No i have not. No where anywhere did I i diclare that i thought it would be passed on. Someone said there is no point reporting it, and i said even if it nothing is done it will be on record! As in, police will have it down that shes been reported before, a pattern if you will of behaviour. No where anywhere did i say an incident report could be used against her i am fully aware she will not have a criminal record if she is not charged!

OP posts:
BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 12/01/2026 14:23

Winterstorms2 · 12/01/2026 14:02

I am in no ways at all deluded as to what it could be used for. Of course it literally records that an incident has been reported. i am well aware of this. Even if it amounts to nothing this time, it will be useful if the teacher in future continues with her behaviour to look back on say “this is not the first time someone has been concerned enough about your behaviour to report it”

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And teacher could rightly say "that incident was nothing more than an allegation, no action was taken. It proves nothing"
Else you could make allegation after allegation about someone and have one taken seriously because "there were previous ones"

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 12/01/2026 14:16

Winterstorms2 · 12/01/2026 13:46

Given that there are witnesses cctv it is highly unlikely it will be dismissed as just a dispute and makes the report credible.

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OK you keep believing that

Lightuptheroom · 12/01/2026 14:16

A police record of an incident can't be passed on. Your last few posts indicate that you've realised that this won't be going on anyone's record.

Original poster
Winterstorms2 · 12/01/2026 14:10

Lightuptheroom · 12/01/2026 14:06

No official body can look back at an incident number and use it for what you suppose. Rightly so, otherwise even harassment would be recorded.

You are misunderstanding me here. I am well aware that it could not be used against the teacher as in she will not have it against her record if nothing is done, but police will still have record of an i incident being reported and will remain in their databases.

OP posts:
Original poster
Winterstorms2 · 12/01/2026 14:09

Lightuptheroom · 12/01/2026 14:05

But it won't be recorded unless the other person is actually charged. An incident number isn't indicative of behaviour and can't be used as such.

There will still be an incident report, even if no further action was to be taken, even if friend wanted to report the incident and not take it further. Its a police record not a criminal record.

OP posts:
Lightuptheroom · 12/01/2026 14:06

No official body can look back at an incident number and use it for what you suppose. Rightly so, otherwise even harassment would be recorded.

Lightuptheroom · 12/01/2026 14:05

But it won't be recorded unless the other person is actually charged. An incident number isn't indicative of behaviour and can't be used as such.

Original poster
Winterstorms2 · 12/01/2026 14:02

Lightuptheroom · 12/01/2026 13:47

OP, politely, you're being slightly deluded as to what an incident number can be used for. It literally records that the incident has been recorded, that's it. It can't be used for anything at all, it's not a caution or a charge or anything other than someone has contacted the police.
As an example, I could contact the police and tell them that you spat at me on x date. The police would ask you to attend an interview, under our laws, you could sit in an interview with legal representation and reply no comment to every question. You have the right to remain silent, anything you say MAY be used against you. You are within your rights to say nothing at all. The allegation isn't sufficient for police to do anything at all following the interview, no restrictions etc. so it goes to the crown prosecution service and then becomes no further action for example. That's where it ends.

I am in no ways at all deluded as to what it could be used for. Of course it literally records that an incident has been reported. i am well aware of this. Even if it amounts to nothing this time, it will be useful if the teacher in future continues with her behaviour to look back on say “this is not the first time someone has been concerned enough about your behaviour to report it”

OP posts:
Lightuptheroom · 12/01/2026 13:52

Again, everyone reading, this is an allegation from one adult to another, not involving children or the persons work place.

Lightuptheroom · 12/01/2026 13:47

OP, politely, you're being slightly deluded as to what an incident number can be used for. It literally records that the incident has been recorded, that's it. It can't be used for anything at all, it's not a caution or a charge or anything other than someone has contacted the police.
As an example, I could contact the police and tell them that you spat at me on x date. The police would ask you to attend an interview, under our laws, you could sit in an interview with legal representation and reply no comment to every question. You have the right to remain silent, anything you say MAY be used against you. You are within your rights to say nothing at all. The allegation isn't sufficient for police to do anything at all following the interview, no restrictions etc. so it goes to the crown prosecution service and then becomes no further action for example. That's where it ends.

Original poster
Winterstorms2 · 12/01/2026 13:46

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 12/01/2026 13:43

An incident record means nothing if it's for a closed case as there was no evidence

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Given that there are witnesses cctv it is highly unlikely it will be dismissed as just a dispute and makes the report credible.

OP posts: