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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would you inform the school?

465 replies

Winterstorms2 · 08/01/2026 16:34

My friend recently got into an argument with her friend. The argument started off as a conversation which quickly turned into an argument, (my friends friend accusing her of things, name calling her etc) in the end my friend was spat at. She was horrified but does not want to do anything about it. My friend’s “friend” is a teacher. AIBU to think my friend should inform the school of this behaviour? Im tempted to do so myself! Our children both attend the school she teaches at. What would you feelings be?

OP posts:
Blushingm · 08/01/2026 17:30

Did YOU witness it yourself?

columnatedruinsdomino · 08/01/2026 17:25

Why are first threads by posters always frothbait?

sweeneytoddsrazor · 08/01/2026 17:22

Assault needs to be reported to police if the victim so wishes. If she doesn't then the school cannot act anyway

CraftyMintHedgehog · 08/01/2026 17:17

Winterstorms2 · 08/01/2026 16:55

But there are no malicious parents in this situation? I think thats terrible tbh! A decent head would protect a staff member who has committed assault?

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Again, did you witness it? Did someone else witness it?

Otherwise it's just your friend against the teacher, and it will look like a malicious comment.

ClawsandEffect · 08/01/2026 17:17

Teachers are some of the wildest people you will ever know. I think it's because they have to be so locked down, all the time, at work and in public.

Some of the stuff I know about some of my ex colleagues would make your hair curl. And I've been know to experiment a fair bit in my personal life too, a couple of times doing something illegal, witnessed by students I happened across on nights out (fortunately, they didn't guess so I was never reported).

If it wasn't at school and it wasn't illegal, mind your own business. Plus, you'd be laughed out of the office.

herbalteabag · 08/01/2026 17:13

I wouldn't get involved in it as it is between them and you only have one side of the story anyway. If your friend wants to take it further then she can come to her own conclusion about it.

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 08/01/2026 17:10

Winterstorms2 · 08/01/2026 17:01

No it was not at school. They had a difficult conversation that escalated into an argument. Yes there are other witnesses who also think that the teachers behaviour was unacceptable

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Were YOU a witness???

Bushmillsbabe · 08/01/2026 17:06

Winterstorms2 · 08/01/2026 17:01

No it was not at school. They had a difficult conversation that escalated into an argument. Yes there are other witnesses who also think that the teachers behaviour was unacceptable

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This is nothing to do with the school if it hapenned outside of the school. If you friend wishes to escalate it, it should be to the police.

Toucanfusingforme · 08/01/2026 17:02

Winterstorms2 · 08/01/2026 17:01

No it was not at school. They had a difficult conversation that escalated into an argument. Yes there are other witnesses who also think that the teachers behaviour was unacceptable

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Then the witnesses should be the ones to report it.

Original poster
Winterstorms2 · 08/01/2026 17:01

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 08/01/2026 16:57

"Friend" probably doesn't want to report it because she started the argument..

No it was not at school. They had a difficult conversation that escalated into an argument. Yes there are other witnesses who also think that the teachers behaviour was unacceptable

OP posts:
Toucanfusingforme · 08/01/2026 17:00

Unless you directly witnessed it you can’t prove it happened. Or what else happened beforehand. You are the one who could end up in trouble by reporting hearsay from the friend it happened to who doesn’t want to report it. Stay out of it.

BadgernTheGarden · 08/01/2026 16:58

Do you have credible witnesses? It could be misconduct or just malicious gossip.

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 08/01/2026 16:57

"Friend" probably doesn't want to report it because she started the argument..

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 08/01/2026 16:56

Context...

Was it outside the school gates or on a night out or at home?

Had your "friend" said something first like called her a whore or something?

Were you there?

Original poster
Winterstorms2 · 08/01/2026 16:55

Celestialmoods · 08/01/2026 16:51

You could do, but any decent head will protect their staff against parents being malicious and will think less of you (and the relevant parent) for it.

Your friend is free to choose other schools if she is that worried.

But there are no malicious parents in this situation? I think thats terrible tbh! A decent head would protect a staff member who has committed assault?

OP posts:
Lahdedah2026 · 08/01/2026 16:55

Winterstorms2 · 08/01/2026 16:48

Not keen to snitch, just worried that someone who resorts to spitting to “win” an argument rather than talk through a dispute is in charge of children. It would never cross my mind to spit on anyone really no matter how provoked or angry I was I could never imagine the type of anger you would have to muster up in you to be able to spit on another human being. My friends child is in this school, she has to send this child in to be taught by someone who has spat on her.

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What is your worry exactly? Are you worried the teacher will spit on her pupils?

I don't think the school would do anything anyway tbh, unless it was caught on cctv or there was witnesses, it's just one word against the other

Notmyreality · 08/01/2026 16:55

Are you going to answer any of the pertinent questions OP? Was this in school? Did you witness any of the events?

CraftyMintHedgehog · 08/01/2026 16:54

Winterstorms2 · 08/01/2026 16:48

Not keen to snitch, just worried that someone who resorts to spitting to “win” an argument rather than talk through a dispute is in charge of children. It would never cross my mind to spit on anyone really no matter how provoked or angry I was I could never imagine the type of anger you would have to muster up in you to be able to spit on another human being. My friends child is in this school, she has to send this child in to be taught by someone who has spat on her.

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Spitting at someone is disgusting and actually classifies as assault, but unless your friend wants to take it to the police then there is nothing you can do.

Your friend should probably report it to the school, as this teacher would have known your friend had a child at the school, so she has basically assaulted a parent.

On the other hand, you didn't witness this, so don't know it actually happened like that. Were there any witnesses?

pollythecat · 08/01/2026 16:53

x2boys · 08/01/2026 16:50

But you wouldn't know because even if the Op did report and the school took it seriously, they are not going yo be discussing it with parents.

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No obviously not but the op knows and her child attends the school…

GeorgeClooneyshouldhavemarriedme · 08/01/2026 16:52

The clue is in your own words
Your friend "does not want to do anything about it"
There will be a reason for that, so you should butt out.

Celestialmoods · 08/01/2026 16:51

You could do, but any decent head will protect their staff against parents being malicious and will think less of you (and the relevant parent) for it.

Your friend is free to choose other schools if she is that worried.

x2boys · 08/01/2026 16:50

pollythecat · 08/01/2026 16:43

It’s funny because the amount of times I’ve seen people on here say that spitting at someone is the lowest of the low, it’s assault, it’s a crime etc etc etc. But as soon as someone actually wants to challenge it and do something about the vile behaviour they are a busy body and a snake. Bizarre.

Not sure if it’ll get you anywhere op but I’d probably want to know if my child was being taught by someone with these sort of values. I mean you have to be pretty scummy to spit at someone, I’d say it’s a character trait rather than a momentary lapse of judgement.

But you wouldn't know because even if the Op did report and the school took it seriously, they are not going yo be discussing it with parents.

Original poster
Winterstorms2 · 08/01/2026 16:48

GeorgeClooneyshouldhavemarriedme · 08/01/2026 16:43

Mind your own business.
Why so keen to snitch?

Not keen to snitch, just worried that someone who resorts to spitting to “win” an argument rather than talk through a dispute is in charge of children. It would never cross my mind to spit on anyone really no matter how provoked or angry I was I could never imagine the type of anger you would have to muster up in you to be able to spit on another human being. My friends child is in this school, she has to send this child in to be taught by someone who has spat on her.

OP posts:
GeorgeClooneyshouldhavemarriedme · 08/01/2026 16:43

Mind your own business.
Why so keen to snitch?

pollythecat · 08/01/2026 16:43

It’s funny because the amount of times I’ve seen people on here say that spitting at someone is the lowest of the low, it’s assault, it’s a crime etc etc etc. But as soon as someone actually wants to challenge it and do something about the vile behaviour they are a busy body and a snake. Bizarre.

Not sure if it’ll get you anywhere op but I’d probably want to know if my child was being taught by someone with these sort of values. I mean you have to be pretty scummy to spit at someone, I’d say it’s a character trait rather than a momentary lapse of judgement.