Page 17 | Would you inform the school?

Winterstorms2 · 2026-01-08T16:34:46+00:00

My friend recently got into an argument with her friend. The argument started off as a conversation which quickly turned into an argument, (my friends friend accusing her of things, name calling her etc) in the end my friend was spat at. She was horrified but does not want to do anything about it. My friend’s “friend” is a teacher. AIBU to think my friend should inform the school of this behaviour? Im tempted to do so myself! Our children both attend the school she teaches at. What would you feelings be?

VickyEadieofThigh · 08/01/2026 18:26

As you didn't witness it, all you can say is "I've been told that..."

Unless someone who did witness it reports it, the head is unlikely to be able to do much about it.

ProudCat · 08/01/2026 18:21

Winterstorms2 · 08/01/2026 18:11

I suppose im old fashioned to think that teachers should hold a certain conduct i side and out of the work place

Show quote history

I'm a teacher and they should. Part of the Standards is that they shouldn't bring the profession into disrepute.

There is an actual problem here. A teacher shouldn't be spitting on the parent of a child who attends the school where they teach.

But there's also another issue, i.e. around the desired outcome. What does the OP hope to achieve? Who will this achievement benefit? Why do they believe this is a matter of public interest? Arguably, contacting the employer to get someone into trouble about something they did in their private life could also be a criminal offence. It might fall under harassment or a form of malicious communication.

WonderingWanda · 08/01/2026 18:21

I think if you weren't there andnshe didn't spit at you then you have no place reporting her to anyone. It' just heresay. If she had spat at you then you would be justified in reporting it to the police should you wish and teachers are contractually obliged to inform their employer about any dealings with the police.

IAmMeThisIsI · 08/01/2026 18:20

There are teachers out there with such little impulse control that they're lashing out in a physical way by spitting on people? Good to know.

BlackCat14 · 08/01/2026 18:17

Is your friends child in the teachers class?

Your friend doesn’t want to report it. So why do you? You weren’t there. You have no idea what actually happened. Why are you so bothered with involving yourself?

PennyLaneisinmyheartandmysoul · 08/01/2026 18:13

agree that it’s suspicious your friend who is making allegations doesn’t want to do anything..

Tiswa · 08/01/2026 18:13

@Winterstorms2 were you there. Did you witness any of it?

Because if not you hav your friends biased account

thisfilmisboring123 · 08/01/2026 18:13

You weren’t there
You only have one version of events.

Doesn’t it make you wonder why your friend doesn’t want to report it herself?

EatYourDamnPie · 08/01/2026 18:11

Winterstorms2 · 08/01/2026 18:08

Well given that my friend didn't assault anyone ….

Show quote history

The person who was actually assaulted, doesn’t want to do anything about it. Why?
The people who actually witnessed it , don’t want to do anything about it. Why?

You, who weren’t involved, want to report her to her employer. Why?

Original poster

Winterstorms2 · 08/01/2026 18:11

OttersMayHaveShifted · 08/01/2026 17:56

Good lord. Teachers are people. They are varied, like the rest of the population. Some of them aren't that nice. Some of them get up to all kinds of things outside of school! There already aren't nearly enough teachers. If you're holding out for all teachers to be morally irreproachable, I'm afraid you're being wildly unrealistic.

The woman sounds grim, but that doesn't necessarily mean she's incapable of being professional at work.

Show quote history

I suppose im old fashioned to think that teachers should hold a certain conduct i side and out of the work place

OP posts:

Tablesandchairs23 · 08/01/2026 18:11

You weren't there. Only have your friends version. Mind your own business.

Original poster

Winterstorms2 · 08/01/2026 18:10

casapenguin · 08/01/2026 18:08

I agree it’s relevant that the teacher in question has spat on a parent of a child at the school she works in! I worked in schools for years and disagree with people who think headteacher would shrug this off, they might not be able to share any action they take but I do not think any of the headteachers I worked with would think it was ok for a teacher to spit on a parent of a child at the school, even out of work. And teacher’s actions outside of work defo can get them in trouble at work! Teachers know that.

Show quote history

Thank you, I was starting to think I was crazy to think like this! I was thinking well im obviously an old trouble maker who should allow teachers to go around spitting!

OP posts:

Original poster

Winterstorms2 · 08/01/2026 18:08

AutumnAllTheWay · 08/01/2026 17:53

If you do, dont forget to inform your friend's employer about the argument too!

Ridiculous.

Well given that my friend didn't assault anyone ….

OP posts:

casapenguin · 08/01/2026 18:08

CraftyMintHedgehog · 08/01/2026 16:54

Spitting at someone is disgusting and actually classifies as assault, but unless your friend wants to take it to the police then there is nothing you can do.

Your friend should probably report it to the school, as this teacher would have known your friend had a child at the school, so she has basically assaulted a parent.

On the other hand, you didn't witness this, so don't know it actually happened like that. Were there any witnesses?

Show quote history

I agree it’s relevant that the teacher in question has spat on a parent of a child at the school she works in! I worked in schools for years and disagree with people who think headteacher would shrug this off, they might not be able to share any action they take but I do not think any of the headteachers I worked with would think it was ok for a teacher to spit on a parent of a child at the school, even out of work. And teacher’s actions outside of work defo can get them in trouble at work! Teachers know that.

OttersMayHaveShifted · 08/01/2026 17:56

Winterstorms2 · 08/01/2026 16:48

Not keen to snitch, just worried that someone who resorts to spitting to “win” an argument rather than talk through a dispute is in charge of children. It would never cross my mind to spit on anyone really no matter how provoked or angry I was I could never imagine the type of anger you would have to muster up in you to be able to spit on another human being. My friends child is in this school, she has to send this child in to be taught by someone who has spat on her.

Show quote history

Good lord. Teachers are people. They are varied, like the rest of the population. Some of them aren't that nice. Some of them get up to all kinds of things outside of school! There already aren't nearly enough teachers. If you're holding out for all teachers to be morally irreproachable, I'm afraid you're being wildly unrealistic.

The woman sounds grim, but that doesn't necessarily mean she's incapable of being professional at work.

AutumnAllTheWay · 08/01/2026 17:53

If you do, dont forget to inform your friend's employer about the argument too!

Ridiculous.

AgnesMcDoo · 08/01/2026 17:52

Disgusting but nothing to do with her employment.

however if it’s assault then you report to the police and they will decide if her employer needs informing

Denbyregency · 08/01/2026 17:52

So it wasn’t at school and you didn’t witness it?

ParmaVioletTea · 08/01/2026 17:50

If true, revolting. But none of your business. And nothing to do with the school.

Long gone are the days when we required teachers to be perfect pillars of the community - we don’t pay them enough for a start.

CremeEggsForBreakfast · 08/01/2026 17:49

If you're calling it assault then you should go to the police and they can decide if the school should be informed.

Going to the school as the first port of call suggests you want some kind of consequence or revenge rather than actually being concerned that she's a danger to others.

BlackCat14 · 08/01/2026 17:47

No. Teachers are humans too and have a life out of school. Not saying what she did was great, but it’s absolutely nothing to do with her employer. What was your friends role in this argument?

Gotchaaaa · 08/01/2026 17:47

surreygirly · 08/01/2026 16:38

Jesus wept
Mind your own business you snake busybidy

Think we found the teacher in question!

Wouldhavebeenproficient · 08/01/2026 17:42

ClawsandEffect · 08/01/2026 17:17

Teachers are some of the wildest people you will ever know. I think it's because they have to be so locked down, all the time, at work and in public.

Some of the stuff I know about some of my ex colleagues would make your hair curl. And I've been know to experiment a fair bit in my personal life too, a couple of times doing something illegal, witnessed by students I happened across on nights out (fortunately, they didn't guess so I was never reported).

If it wasn't at school and it wasn't illegal, mind your own business. Plus, you'd be laughed out of the office.

Spitting at someone is illegal.

Wouldhavebeenproficient · 08/01/2026 17:41

I'm a teacher, and usually very pro teachers on this post. Your friend's "friend" has committed assault. It's absolutely relevant to her professional standing. But if you weren't a witness there's nothing you can do: it's up to your friend to report it to the police. Teachers get suspended for much less than this.

Cairneyes · 08/01/2026 17:33

It’s assault so should be reported to the police, who will then inform the LADO and the matter will be dealt with. It has nothing to do with the school until then. You wouldn’t inform Tesco if one of their employees spat at someone else on a night out, even if that person shopped at Tesco,why would you inform the school?