Page 15 | Would you inform the school?

Winterstorms2 · 2026-01-08T16:34:46+00:00

My friend recently got into an argument with her friend. The argument started off as a conversation which quickly turned into an argument, (my friends friend accusing her of things, name calling her etc) in the end my friend was spat at. She was horrified but does not want to do anything about it. My friend’s “friend” is a teacher. AIBU to think my friend should inform the school of this behaviour? Im tempted to do so myself! Our children both attend the school she teaches at. What would you feelings be?

Original poster

Winterstorms2 · 08/01/2026 21:18

AutumnAllTheWay · 08/01/2026 20:53

Did you really need it spelling out that ot should be person who was there and not person who wasn't who should report to police?

Were there or weren't there witnesses? Because you didnt mention them in your first few posts?

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No…??

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AutumnAllTheWay · 08/01/2026 20:53

Winterstorms2 · 08/01/2026 20:35

Im not going to the police… friend is, thanks to those on here who informed of the correct route. Will deffo keep updated on how it pans out for all.

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Did you really need it spelling out that ot should be person who was there and not person who wasn't who should report to police?

Were there or weren't there witnesses? Because you didnt mention them in your first few posts?

ClawsandEffect · 08/01/2026 20:52

Winterstorms2 · 08/01/2026 20:34

Most normal people dont spit at others, seriously? You seriously think thats normal behaviour?? Your seriously trying to minimise that? Ew.

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It. Wasn't. In. School.

Ilikesundays · 08/01/2026 20:41

There’s another risk in reporting this episode to the police: it seems that there was a public spat (sorry - unfortunate pun) culminating in one party spitting at the other. If it does go as far as a magistrates court on a charge of common assault, both your friend and the teacher may be bound over to keep the peace. Something that your friend may be very upset about.

BlackCat14 · 08/01/2026 20:39

When did your friend have a change of heart?

Original poster

Winterstorms2 · 08/01/2026 20:35

ProudCat · 08/01/2026 20:20

There are specific conducts we all need to uphold. It's called the law.

Please do keep us updated. Would love to know what the police say about your report of something you heard about second hand.

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Im not going to the police… friend is, thanks to those on here who informed of the correct route. Will deffo keep updated on how it pans out for all.

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Ilikesundays · 08/01/2026 20:35

A clue is in your OP: the “victim” doesn’t want to do anything about it. If you complain to the police on her behalf, the police will want to take a statement from her. If she declines to make one, that will be the end of it. I’d leave your friend to do the complaining; if she doesn’t want to, I’m afraid that’s it. You weren’t there and can’t be a witness.

Original poster

Winterstorms2 · 08/01/2026 20:34

ClawsandEffect · 08/01/2026 20:22

If she spat at a child, another teacher, a cleaner, a dinner lady, ANYONE in school, fair enough. But she's human.

I've worked with teachers that are swingers, a prostitute teacher, a teacher who had a relationship with a student (18+ so he said, but not when they started) and married her, teachers who engaged in a staff party orgy, teachers caught shagging (out of hours, no kids around) in school, teachers drunk at school, teachers that took recreational drugs, alcoholic teachers.

But having an argument and spitting? Grow up.

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Most normal people dont spit at others, seriously? You seriously think thats normal behaviour?? Your seriously trying to minimise that? Ew.

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ClawsandEffect · 08/01/2026 20:22

Wouldhavebeenproficient · 08/01/2026 17:42

Spitting at someone is illegal.

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If she spat at a child, another teacher, a cleaner, a dinner lady, ANYONE in school, fair enough. But she's human.

I've worked with teachers that are swingers, a prostitute teacher, a teacher who had a relationship with a student (18+ so he said, but not when they started) and married her, teachers who engaged in a staff party orgy, teachers caught shagging (out of hours, no kids around) in school, teachers drunk at school, teachers that took recreational drugs, alcoholic teachers.

But having an argument and spitting? Grow up.

ProudCat · 08/01/2026 20:20

Winterstorms2 · 08/01/2026 20:15

But they are though, there is a specific conduct they need to uphold

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There are specific conducts we all need to uphold. It's called the law.

Please do keep us updated. Would love to know what the police say about your report of something you heard about second hand.

SeanMean · 08/01/2026 20:18

Jellybunny56 · 08/01/2026 16:37

Teachers are also humans, they do lots of things in their personal lives that they don’t do in school. Unless she did this on school grounds or infront of her class I don’t see how this is relevant info.

Nailed it!

Original poster

Winterstorms2 · 08/01/2026 20:15

Dontlletmedownbruce · 08/01/2026 20:08

Would you report her if she worked in IT? Or if she was a nurse or vet or deli worker or cleaner or consultant cardiologist? If the answer is yes then yes. Otherwise no. Teachers do not need to be held to a different standard to everyone else in their personal lives.

But they are though, there is a specific conduct they need to uphold

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casapenguin · 08/01/2026 20:10

OttersMayHaveShifted · 08/01/2026 18:39

It is old-fashioned, yes. It's hard enough to persuade people to be teachers anyway. Holding them to higher standards of behaviour in their private lives than other people, just because they've chosen a particular job, is not exactly going to help. It's a job, not a sainthood.

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This literally is the case though, personal and professional conduct is part of the teacher’s standards. These get hammered into you at every possible opportunity when training - so it’s not like people don’t know this is what they are getting themselves into. assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/5a750668ed915d3c7d529cad/Teachers_standard_information.pdf

Dontlletmedownbruce · 08/01/2026 20:08

Would you report her if she worked in IT? Or if she was a nurse or vet or deli worker or cleaner or consultant cardiologist? If the answer is yes then yes. Otherwise no. Teachers do not need to be held to a different standard to everyone else in their personal lives.

AutumnAllTheWay · 08/01/2026 20:07

Did it take you a few posts to mention there were witnesses? 🤔

Original poster

Winterstorms2 · 08/01/2026 20:05

Thank you all for your feedbback. Police it is.

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Forty85 · 08/01/2026 20:01

The police would be the correct people to report it to especially as there are witnesses. If it's not reported to the police, it's just an accusation without evidence the school likely wouldn't act on.

sprigatito · 08/01/2026 20:00

Winterstorms2 · 08/01/2026 16:55

But there are no malicious parents in this situation? I think thats terrible tbh! A decent head would protect a staff member who has committed assault?

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No, a decent Head would protect a staff member who has been ACCUSED of assault, with no corroborating evidence, by someone who wasn’t there and has no connection to the alleged incident 🙄

Matronic6 · 08/01/2026 19:57

If your friend feels like she wants action, she should go to the police. If not, the argument was between 2 adults and those two adults can sort it out or not.

Boredoflunch1 · 08/01/2026 19:55

It isn't right to be spat at. But what does your friend think will happen?

Original poster

Winterstorms2 · 08/01/2026 19:54

MrsDoubtingMyself · 08/01/2026 19:48

Are you her mentor? 😵‍💫😳

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friend and its not right to be spat at

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Original poster

Winterstorms2 · 08/01/2026 19:53

Periperi2025 · 08/01/2026 19:15

Well the implications are clearly her getting into a lot of trouble, which is presumably also your motivation to report her.

Are you going to report your other friend to her employer for her part in the very public argument so that they can both be investigated at work for something that happened outside of work?

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No assault conducted by other friend

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Original poster

Winterstorms2 · 08/01/2026 19:52

neverbeenskiing · 08/01/2026 19:21

I work in a school in a Leadership role.
Those saying it's nothing to do with the school because it didn't happen on school site or during working hours are factually incorrect. Rightly or wrongly, Teachers, along with some other professions such as HCP's, are expected to adhere to certain standards of behaviour both in and outside of the workplace. Teachers know that, it's made very clear during their training, it's what they sign up for. I have worked with Teachers who have found themselves in serious trouble, and even dismissed, for their conduct outside of work.

As others have said, spitting at someone can potentially be a criminal offence, it is classed as assault. Since Teachers can find themselves in serious trouble for assaulting a random member of the public outside work, someone not connected with school, because they could be seen as "bringing the profession into disrepute", of course a Teacher assaulting the parent of a child who attends their school, wherever and whenever that assault takes place, could affect their job. I'm surprised so many posters can't see that. If the parent who has allegedly been spat at was to report the matter to the Police and/or the school then the Head would have to take it seriously, and it could potentially lead to disciplinary action but OP is not the victim, and she did not witness the incident so a report from her would just be hear-say.

Thank you I thought it was common knowledge that teachers have a certain level of conduct

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MrsDoubtingMyself · 08/01/2026 19:48

Winterstorms2 · 08/01/2026 18:31

She feels that she cannot because the person doing the spitting is a teacher and feels that there would be no point that she would be laughed at and the head teacher would protect the teacher, which is really sad to read here that it is a possible outcome …i wanted to show her that she would be doing the right thing, but it seems not.

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Are you her mentor? 😵‍💫😳

MrsDoubtingMyself · 08/01/2026 19:46

Winterstorms2 · 08/01/2026 19:08

Yes others witnessed it, it definitely happened, no back tracking, just worried about the implications of reporting a teacher.

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Why wouldn't you also report the other person to THEIR employer?

Why are you getting involved at all?