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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would you inform the school?

465 replies

Winterstorms2 · 08/01/2026 16:34

My friend recently got into an argument with her friend. The argument started off as a conversation which quickly turned into an argument, (my friends friend accusing her of things, name calling her etc) in the end my friend was spat at. She was horrified but does not want to do anything about it. My friend’s “friend” is a teacher. AIBU to think my friend should inform the school of this behaviour? Im tempted to do so myself! Our children both attend the school she teaches at. What would you feelings be?

OP posts:
CrispySquid · 09/01/2026 09:58

Did this teacher actually spit at your "friend"? Are the witnesses who can attest to seeing this a completely neutral third party or are they people/persons who also hold a grudge against the teacher?

Your latest posts make it sound that this incident is either fabricated, exaggerated or at the very least highly convenient. Why is your "friend" still friends with this teacher if you say they have allegedly made their lives and the lives of others around them hell? Why would a teacher be interacting in and involved in potentially violent situations with (correctly or incorrectly) vexatious parents out of school grounds who have historically complained about her? Why would a teacher be hanging around in this situation with your "friend"? Why would they even be friends?

Original poster
Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 09:56

BlackCat14 · 09/01/2026 09:54

What was your friends role in the argument?

Why has she now changed her mind about reporting it?

Dhe has calmed down and can now see she has plenty of support and does not need to be scared of the fact that this woman is a teacher.

OP posts:
Original poster
Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 09:55

Momoftwo25 · 09/01/2026 09:54

It really is up to your friend to deal with it as she sees fit. If this were to be reported to the police, school would be informed and likely take some sort of action. Expected behaviour inside and outside of school is set out in the gov Teaching Standards. So whilst it’s not on school property/time it can still be looked in to. I wouldn’t be making a report if I were you as I can’t see in the OP that you were witness to this incident, therefore only hearing one side. (I don’t randomly keep pictures of teachers standards 😂 school governor )

Thank you for this.

OP posts:
BlackCat14 · 09/01/2026 09:54

What was your friends role in the argument?

Why has she now changed her mind about reporting it?

Original poster
Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 09:54

FrightfulNightfull · 09/01/2026 09:52

OP for pity’s sake just say you are the person allegedly spat at and you want to report this “friend” to someone or anyone- so just do it.
The police won’t necessarily determine that spitting is common assault (context will be examined). It isn’t the kind of action that will automatically lead to a determination that it was common assault- so perhaps research that before going to the police and expecting to take down the superior acting teacher…

oh sorry your “friend” should be warned that just because someone says “it’s assault go to the police” on Mn means that the police will view it that way and your “friend” will also be interviewed about “her” part in the events.

Of course and “friend” along with “witnesses” has absolutely nothing to worry about.

OP posts:
Momoftwo25 · 09/01/2026 09:54

It really is up to your friend to deal with it as she sees fit. If this were to be reported to the police, school would be informed and likely take some sort of action. Expected behaviour inside and outside of school is set out in the gov Teaching Standards. So whilst it’s not on school property/time it can still be looked in to. I wouldn’t be making a report if I were you as I can’t see in the OP that you were witness to this incident, therefore only hearing one side. (I don’t randomly keep pictures of teachers standards 😂 school governor )

Would you inform the school?
Original poster
Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 09:53

howshouldibehave · 09/01/2026 09:48

But actually the individual in question has put many a person through hell and hides behind a mask of superiority and seems to think she is untouchable

It sounds like you don't like her and have a massive grudge against her!

Encouraging your friend (who wasn't going to do anything about this) to go to the police, is likely to have a considerable long term impact on this person (who you say was their friend?) as the police will contact their employer.

What was the argument about?

… and therefore the person should just be a decent human being she wouldn’t need to worry about anyone contacting her employer then… now would she?

OP posts:
FrightfulNightfull · 09/01/2026 09:52

OP for pity’s sake just say you are the person allegedly spat at and you want to report this “friend” to someone or anyone- so just do it.
The police won’t necessarily determine that spitting is common assault (context will be examined). It isn’t the kind of action that will automatically lead to a determination that it was common assault- so perhaps research that before going to the police and expecting to take down the superior acting teacher…

oh sorry your “friend” should be warned that just because someone says “it’s assault go to the police” on Mn means that the police will view it that way and your “friend” will also be interviewed about “her” part in the events.

Original poster
Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 09:49

PennyLaneisinmyheartandmysoul · 09/01/2026 09:45

Ah so you do have a personal vendetta against her?
Have the people she’s put through hell been you, or are you going on hearsay and gossip again?

Show quote history

Yes and yes (not gossip, seeing her effects on others and the way she reacts) “they wont do anything with me, I'm a teacher, they need me in that school” that kind of attitude makes me sick to my stomach meanwhile others are suffering to scared to day or do anything and im so so disappointed to see it here.

OP posts:
howshouldibehave · 09/01/2026 09:48

But actually the individual in question has put many a person through hell and hides behind a mask of superiority and seems to think she is untouchable

It sounds like you don't like her and have a massive grudge against her!

Encouraging your friend (who wasn't going to do anything about this) to go to the police, is likely to have a considerable long term impact on this person (who you say was their friend?) as the police will contact their employer.

What was the argument about?

BlackCat14 · 09/01/2026 09:47

When and why did your friend change her mind about reporting this?

PennyLaneisinmyheartandmysoul · 09/01/2026 09:45

Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 09:37

you knowvwhat, your right. Im not a bad person or a nasty person though. But actually the individual in question has put many a person through hell and hides behind a mask of superiority and seems to think she is untouchable because of the fact she is a teacher. Her masked slipped at last with witnesses present

Show quote history

Ah so you do have a personal vendetta against her?
Have the people she’s put through hell been you, or are you going on hearsay and gossip again?

Original poster
Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 09:37

DeftWasp · 09/01/2026 09:36

Well at least that will give the police something to do, I'm sure they aren't busy investigating serious crimes or anything like that.

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😂

OP posts:
Original poster
Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 09:37

Periperi2025 · 09/01/2026 09:34

There is a vast difference between thinking her behaviour is wrong (which i do, i think spitting is disgusting) and your attitude of revelling in the idea of destroying someones career, income and life over it!

I don't like how gleeful you seem at having the oppurtunity to take down this 'friend'. You sound like a nasty person, who likes to sh*t stir given half a chance. You weren't even there!

Show quote history

you knowvwhat, your right. Im not a bad person or a nasty person though. But actually the individual in question has put many a person through hell and hides behind a mask of superiority and seems to think she is untouchable because of the fact she is a teacher. Her masked slipped at last with witnesses present

OP posts:
DeftWasp · 09/01/2026 09:36

Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 09:28

She is going to the police….

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Well at least that will give the police something to do, I'm sure they aren't busy investigating serious crimes or anything like that.

DeftWasp · 09/01/2026 09:35

Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 09:22

Thank you, I was really starting to think there was something wrong with my way of thinking. How can you condone that sort of behavior in anyone? Especially someone who has to deal with children and possibly be provoked on a daily basis? I would personally rather be slapped than spat on, spitting is a complete and utter disregard to another person and is a some what animal act. Humans have hands if we really must use them, animals spit!

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Animals generally don't spit, they done have the physiology to allow them to do it.

Periperi2025 · 09/01/2026 09:34

Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 09:24

wrong to report to the school. But im disgusted in the fact that some people on here seem to think her behaviour is fine,

Show quote history

There is a vast difference between thinking her behaviour is wrong (which i do, i think spitting is disgusting) and your attitude of revelling in the idea of destroying someones career, income and life over it!

I don't like how gleeful you seem at having the oppurtunity to take down this 'friend'. You sound like a nasty person, who likes to sh*t stir given half a chance. You weren't even there!

Original poster
Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 09:28

CrispySquid · 09/01/2026 09:25

If you think your friend has been assaulted, then she should go to the police to report the assault and they will then let the school know. The fact that your friend isn't bothered means either she doesn't think anything that happened was serious enough to keep picking at it, she started and escalated it or the spitting and events didn't actually happen like she described. Your friend isn't bothered so why are you? Report it to the police if you think a crime has been committed.

She is going to the police….

OP posts:
CrispySquid · 09/01/2026 09:25

If you think your friend has been assaulted, then she should go to the police to report the assault and they will then let the school know. The fact that your friend isn't bothered means either she doesn't think anything that happened was serious enough to keep picking at it, she started and escalated it or the spitting and events didn't actually happen like she described. Your friend isn't bothered so why are you? Report it to the police if you think a crime has been committed.

Original poster
Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 09:24

AutumnAllTheWay · 09/01/2026 09:23

90% think youre wrong.

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wrong to report to the school. But im disgusted in the fact that some people on here seem to think her behaviour is fine,

OP posts:
Original poster
Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 09:23

AutumnAllTheWay · 09/01/2026 09:22

Or maybe left that out altogether.

Honestly, you sound a bit unhinged about the whole business in the sense you are fixated on her being a teacher.

Also no answer as to why it took you several posts to come up with the witnesses, seemingly only after many came on and said you weren't there and couldn't have known what happened for sure on your friend's say so.

Anyway, over 90% think yabu.

Edited
Show quote history

people asked, I replied. Of course my friend will plod along with her invisible witnesses to report it

OP posts:
AutumnAllTheWay · 09/01/2026 09:23

Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 09:22

Thank you, I was really starting to think there was something wrong with my way of thinking. How can you condone that sort of behavior in anyone? Especially someone who has to deal with children and possibly be provoked on a daily basis? I would personally rather be slapped than spat on, spitting is a complete and utter disregard to another person and is a some what animal act. Humans have hands if we really must use them, animals spit!

Show quote history

90% think youre wrong.

Original poster
Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 09:22

CherryBlossom321 · 09/01/2026 09:12

You’re right. It should be reported. Whether it was in the workplace or not, it’s very telling of her character and your concerns are absolutely valid.

Show quote history

Thank you, I was really starting to think there was something wrong with my way of thinking. How can you condone that sort of behavior in anyone? Especially someone who has to deal with children and possibly be provoked on a daily basis? I would personally rather be slapped than spat on, spitting is a complete and utter disregard to another person and is a some what animal act. Humans have hands if we really must use them, animals spit!

OP posts:
AutumnAllTheWay · 09/01/2026 09:22

Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 09:01

I wonder if i had started my post saying my friend was spat at by another woman, and the. Later said that woman was also a teacher , how different the response would be.

Show quote history

Or maybe left that out altogether.

Honestly, you sound a bit unhinged about the whole business in the sense you are fixated on her being a teacher.

Also no answer as to why it took you several posts to come up with the witnesses, seemingly only after many came on and said you weren't there and couldn't have known what happened for sure on your friend's say so.

Anyway, over 90% think yabu.

mamajong · 09/01/2026 09:19

Its got nothing to do with you, its between the 2 of them - stay out of it