Page 12 | Would you inform the school?

Winterstorms2 · 2026-01-08T16:34:46+00:00

My friend recently got into an argument with her friend. The argument started off as a conversation which quickly turned into an argument, (my friends friend accusing her of things, name calling her etc) in the end my friend was spat at. She was horrified but does not want to do anything about it. My friend’s “friend” is a teacher. AIBU to think my friend should inform the school of this behaviour? Im tempted to do so myself! Our children both attend the school she teaches at. What would you feelings be?

Spirallingdownwards · 09/01/2026 10:44

pollythecat · 08/01/2026 16:53

No obviously not but the op knows and her child attends the school…

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her "friend's" child

FluffMagnet · 09/01/2026 10:37

Not reading the whole thread, but I will say that if you are a member of a regulated profession, often your conduct outside of work must be at a high level to maintain the reputation of that profession in society. I'm not sure about schools, but certainly in my profession, if an individual made a complaint to my employer alleging illegal conduct, my employer would be obliged to contact my regulator for further investigation. It is not akin to telling Tescos about the behaviour of one of their cashiers outside of work.

msmillicentcat · 09/01/2026 10:26

I’m glad your friend is going to report it. Spitting is disgusting behaviour by any human no matter what their job but being a teacher comes with certain responsibilities like many other careers. I certainly wouldn’t want someone who deals with conflict in such a disgusting and aggressive way teaching my children.

CheddarCheeseAndCrispSandwich · 09/01/2026 10:26

@Winterstorms2

Why are you continuing to avoid answering the MANY posters who asked what your ‘friend's’ role in this argument was, and what the argument was about? Who started it, what led up to the spitting?

Nobody would spit unprovoked!! I am NOT saying spitting is right, it’s not, it’s horrible! But it would help to understand the situation better (and you may get more reasoned responses!) if the whole context was explained.

Owly11 · 09/01/2026 10:18

If you didn't witness it you shouldn't report it. It is hearsay evidence aka gossip and it is for your friend to report it if she chooses. You have nothing to report other than 'he says, she says'.

VickyEadieofThigh · 09/01/2026 10:17

DeftWasp · 09/01/2026 10:10

You seem very invested in this for a "witness" - I witnessed my neighbours husband punching her in the garden - she reported it to the police, he got booted out on a DVPN and the police took my statement, that's it, I'm in no way interested in it and won't give it another thought unless I have to go to court and repeat my testimony - its got nothing to do with me.

Your friend has reported to the police, they will either approach you for a statement or not, its not your problem, not your issue to solve - they are dealing with it.

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Doubtful the police will approach the OP for a statement as she wasn't actually there at the time.

DontBuyANewMumCashmere · 09/01/2026 10:15

So surprised at the amount of ppl minimising this.
If it was a man spitting at his gf (or other way round) that would rightly be condemned.

Who on earth thinks spitting is within the normal range of human behaviour?!

I'm glad your friend is going to report it.
Teaching is a notifiable occupation so they will probably report it to the school too.

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 09/01/2026 10:14

Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 10:05

yes it was a public place!

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Oh so she was having a massive argument in public with convenient witnesses who are neutral but she has contact with and who are ALL saying it wasn't OK?

Hope your "friend" is ok with potentially being charged with breach of the peace for having such a public, loud, argument which disrupted other people's day...

Original poster

Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 10:12

PennyLaneisinmyheartandmysoul · 09/01/2026 10:10

And your friend already has the contact details of all these strangers to give statements? How fortuitous.

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she has details for the people she knows, and she will be able to inform the police of where it happened, cctv and the workers present its not that hard.

OP posts:

PennyLaneisinmyheartandmysoul · 09/01/2026 10:10

Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 10:05

yes it was a public place!

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And your friend already has the contact details of all these strangers to give statements? How fortuitous.

DeftWasp · 09/01/2026 10:10

Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 10:05

yes it was a public place!

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You seem very invested in this for a "witness" - I witnessed my neighbours husband punching her in the garden - she reported it to the police, he got booted out on a DVPN and the police took my statement, that's it, I'm in no way interested in it and won't give it another thought unless I have to go to court and repeat my testimony - its got nothing to do with me.

Your friend has reported to the police, they will either approach you for a statement or not, its not your problem, not your issue to solve - they are dealing with it.

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 09/01/2026 10:09

BlackCat14 · 09/01/2026 09:47

When and why did your friend change her mind about reporting this?

Around the time OP realised she was getting absolutely dragged for harping on about the fact the woman was a teacher ...

Original poster

Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 10:08

CrispySquid · 09/01/2026 09:58

Did this teacher actually spit at your "friend"? Are the witnesses who can attest to seeing this a completely neutral third party or are they people/persons who also hold a grudge against the teacher?

Your latest posts make it sound that this incident is either fabricated, exaggerated or at the very least highly convenient. Why is your "friend" still friends with this teacher if you say they have allegedly made their lives and the lives of others around them hell? Why would a teacher be interacting in and involved in potentially violent situations with (correctly or incorrectly) vexatious parents out of school grounds who have historically complained about her? Why would a teacher be hanging around in this situation with your "friend"? Why would they even be friends?

why are you labelling the truth as highly convenient? What is it so far beyond your realm of reality that we actually have shitty people like this in our schools doing shitty things and getting away with it because people like you think they deserve protecting!

OP posts:

PennyLaneisinmyheartandmysoul · 09/01/2026 10:08

What conclusion?

Original poster

Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 10:05

PennyLaneisinmyheartandmysoul · 09/01/2026 10:05

Witness who don’t have your agenda?

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yes it was a public place!

OP posts:

Original poster

Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 10:05

PennyLaneisinmyheartandmysoul · 09/01/2026 10:03

So yes you do have a vendetta against her?
you and your friends are aware that making false statements to the police is also a crime?
Also is it slander or defamation of character is all of this is being embellished in order to get her sacked?

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So nice of you to come to this conclusion 🙄

OP posts:

PennyLaneisinmyheartandmysoul · 09/01/2026 10:05

Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 10:03

Well no of course they dont, that goes eithout saying! Do you put everyone off who’s been assaulted to not go to the police because they “might investigate everyone?” Really? Spitter may well deny, witnesses are available.

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Witness who don’t have your agenda?

PennyLaneisinmyheartandmysoul · 09/01/2026 10:03

Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 09:49

Yes and yes (not gossip, seeing her effects on others and the way she reacts) “they wont do anything with me, I'm a teacher, they need me in that school” that kind of attitude makes me sick to my stomach meanwhile others are suffering to scared to day or do anything and im so so disappointed to see it here.

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So yes you do have a vendetta against her?
you and your friends are aware that making false statements to the police is also a crime?
Also is it slander or defamation of character is all of this is being embellished in order to get her sacked?

Original poster

Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 10:03

FrightfulNightfull · 09/01/2026 09:58

I don’t care whether your friend- the spitter - has something to worry about. You should on the other hand be aware that the police don’t just take a report and not also interrogate the report - they won’t be racing round to the school to interview the head.. they’ll arrange a time to interview you first. I hope thats not something you worry about.
of course- like most people- spitter is likely to deny it happened. Be prepared for what happens after that too…

Well no of course they dont, that goes eithout saying! Do you put everyone off who’s been assaulted to not go to the police because they “might investigate everyone?” Really? Spitter may well deny, witnesses are available.

OP posts:

DeftWasp · 09/01/2026 10:02

Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 09:54

Of course and “friend” along with “witnesses” has absolutely nothing to worry about.

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Well they do if the story is fabricated, they could get done for wasting police time.

DeftWasp · 09/01/2026 10:00

Momoftwo25 · 09/01/2026 09:54

It really is up to your friend to deal with it as she sees fit. If this were to be reported to the police, school would be informed and likely take some sort of action. Expected behaviour inside and outside of school is set out in the gov Teaching Standards. So whilst it’s not on school property/time it can still be looked in to. I wouldn’t be making a report if I were you as I can’t see in the OP that you were witness to this incident, therefore only hearing one side. (I don’t randomly keep pictures of teachers standards 😂 school governor )

One caveat, we are assuming its a state school, the Teachers Standards in that form don't apply in private schools, there is a significantly different document for them.

TeaRoseTallulah · 09/01/2026 10:00

Jellybunny56 · 08/01/2026 16:37

Teachers are also humans, they do lots of things in their personal lives that they don’t do in school. Unless she did this on school grounds or infront of her class I don’t see how this is relevant info.

I wouldn't want anyone who thinks it's ok to spit at people anywhere near my kids. If course behavior is relevant outside school!

BlackCat14 · 09/01/2026 09:59

Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 09:56

Dhe has calmed down and can now see she has plenty of support and does not need to be scared of the fact that this woman is a teacher.

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Makes sense! Is there an answer to my first question?

FrightfulNightfull · 09/01/2026 09:58

I don’t care whether your friend- the spitter - has something to worry about. You should on the other hand be aware that the police don’t just take a report and not also interrogate the report - they won’t be racing round to the school to interview the head.. they’ll arrange a time to interview you first. I hope thats not something you worry about.
of course- like most people- spitter is likely to deny it happened. Be prepared for what happens after that too…

PersephonePomegranate · 09/01/2026 09:58

It's for your friend to report if she wants to - she doesnt, so nose out!