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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you inform the school?

465 replies

Winterstorms2 · 08/01/2026 16:34

My friend recently got into an argument with her friend. The argument started off as a conversation which quickly turned into an argument, (my friends friend accusing her of things, name calling her etc) in the end my friend was spat at. She was horrified but does not want to do anything about it. My friend’s “friend” is a teacher. AIBU to think my friend should inform the school of this behaviour? Im tempted to do so myself! Our children both attend the school she teaches at. What would you feelings be?

OP posts:
Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 16:07

BlackCat14 · 09/01/2026 16:06

And you say the teacher is the only nasty piece of work in this scenario?

Mwahahahaaaa your all wild in mumsnet world truly 😂 what a place!

OP posts:
BlackCat14 · 09/01/2026 16:06

Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 16:04

Let the witch hunt commence mwahaha 🧙‍♀️🧙‍♀️🙈😂😂

And you say the teacher is the only nasty piece of work in this scenario?

PennyLaneisinmyheartandmysoul · 09/01/2026 16:05

Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 16:04

Let the witch hunt commence mwahaha 🧙‍♀️🧙‍♀️🙈😂😂

right…

Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 16:04

PennyLaneisinmyheartandmysoul · 09/01/2026 15:57

Am thinking there may be a little bit of history with this teacher and op?
The level of vitriol is quite scary!

Let the witch hunt commence mwahaha 🧙‍♀️🧙‍♀️🙈😂😂

OP posts:
FrightfulNightfull · 09/01/2026 15:57

Are you going in person to the police OP?

PennyLaneisinmyheartandmysoul · 09/01/2026 15:57

Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 15:51

Yup let her finally see

Am thinking there may be a little bit of history with this teacher and op?
The level of vitriol is quite scary!

AutumnAllTheWay · 09/01/2026 15:57

Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 14:16

Well no, its a shitty person doing shitty things and getting away with them in a goading manner simply because she thinks she is untouchable. The motive is to not allow such a shitty person teach our children to be shitty people by showing her she cannot get away with things

You sound increasingly deranged about this lady.

If you have concerns about her as a teacher you should have raised them before this.

And then left it there.

Agreed this is a witch hunt.

Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 15:54

Agonyaunt2026 · 09/01/2026 15:51

It looks that way.

Since being asked if she’s the friend, OP has gone very, very quiet. 🤔

Have I? Im still here 😂

OP posts:
Agonyaunt2026 · 09/01/2026 15:51

GeorgeClooneyshouldhavemarriedme · 09/01/2026 15:17

Well, well, well...the recent updates show the OP is just out for revenge against someone she doesn't like.

All the "holding teachers to higher standards" rubbish is utter tosh.

It looks that way.

Since being asked if she’s the friend, OP has gone very, very quiet. 🤔

Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 15:51

GeorgeClooneyshouldhavemarriedme · 09/01/2026 15:17

Well, well, well...the recent updates show the OP is just out for revenge against someone she doesn't like.

All the "holding teachers to higher standards" rubbish is utter tosh.

Yup let her finally see

OP posts:
GeorgeClooneyshouldhavemarriedme · 09/01/2026 15:17

Well, well, well...the recent updates show the OP is just out for revenge against someone she doesn't like.

All the "holding teachers to higher standards" rubbish is utter tosh.

Bushmillsbabe · 09/01/2026 14:41

Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 14:16

Well no, its a shitty person doing shitty things and getting away with them in a goading manner simply because she thinks she is untouchable. The motive is to not allow such a shitty person teach our children to be shitty people by showing her she cannot get away with things

So your motive is to get her sacked, that has become very clear.

Have you escalated your concerns to the head, the board of governors, the LA and Ofsted.

If you don't want her teaching your children, then you could always move your child to a different school, or as a minimum ask for your child to be moved out of their class.

The vast majority of children's behaviour is influenced by their parents, with increasing influence from peers as they grow older. A 'shitty teacher' will not cause your child to be a 'shitty person'.
Children who have been raised with good values will recognise poor behaviour a mile off and wont try to emulate it. My oldest has had some brilliant teachers some ok ones and 1 absolutely awful bully. Parents escalated it up through appropriate channels, 2 experienced and trusted TA's were placed in that class to 'support' (monitor), reliable evidenve gathered and she was gone by the end of the year. Teachers are most definitely not untouchable.

FrightfulNightfull · 09/01/2026 14:37

OP - are you going to tell the police the truth? Are you going to tell them that YOU and this teacher had an altercation and she spat at you?
Is she “bullying” your child?
I don’t know why you bothered writing this post/thread in the first place as you can’t even be honest about what happened.
What are you hoping for - everyone will say yes report her to the head …
And what then?
Why do you need people egging you on..?
Nobody above the age of 18 and out of school is afraid of teachers ffs. Stop being ridiculous!!
Police I’d believe. Doctors yes they carry clout with Joe Public, teachers….? Unless you are 14 I would find it impossible to think she presents any kind of threat such that you and your gang of witnesses would be “afraid” of her.

Agonyaunt2026 · 09/01/2026 14:31

TwoTuesday · 09/01/2026 14:26

Why is your friend friends with this person if they are so horrible? Why were they arguing? I feel there is a lot more to this tale than you've shared. If there have been bullying issues previously, why haven't they been tackled? Parents are not reticent to complain about teachers from what I've seen. It seems like you've got a bit of a vendetta going on.
If you wade in you may get your own friend in trouble too, as well as the teacher. If she's already gone to the police that should suffice.

I think it’s one of those ‘she’s asking for a friend’ situation.

@Winterstorms2 what work is it that you do? Just wanting to get a picture of this tale as you’re keeping so much from us?

TwoTuesday · 09/01/2026 14:26

Why is your friend friends with this person if they are so horrible? Why were they arguing? I feel there is a lot more to this tale than you've shared. If there have been bullying issues previously, why haven't they been tackled? Parents are not reticent to complain about teachers from what I've seen. It seems like you've got a bit of a vendetta going on.
If you wade in you may get your own friend in trouble too, as well as the teacher. If she's already gone to the police that should suffice.

VickyEadieofThigh · 09/01/2026 14:24

Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 13:36

Yes I would say her behaviour could be described as bullying, if not intentional intimidation

If this is the case, why haven't you reported THAT behaviour to the headteacher?

Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 14:16

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 09/01/2026 14:12

Ye there's absolutely no alternate motive here at all...

Well no, its a shitty person doing shitty things and getting away with them in a goading manner simply because she thinks she is untouchable. The motive is to not allow such a shitty person teach our children to be shitty people by showing her she cannot get away with things

OP posts:
BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 09/01/2026 14:12

Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 12:23

really no need to feel sorry for such a person believe me shes an awful awful human being

Ye there's absolutely no alternate motive here at all...

Agonyaunt2026 · 09/01/2026 14:06

Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 13:32

Well i can assure you that is not the case here and I resent the implication.

Are you the friend? Did the teacher spit in your face? What did you say to her?

howshouldibehave · 09/01/2026 14:01

shes an awful awful human being

Yet your friend is friends with her?!

howshouldibehave · 09/01/2026 14:00

I doubt a teacher would lose their job over spitting

If she was charged with assault and received a caution/other consequence, then that would have to be declared to the school and may affect the DBS or conditions of employment.

Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 13:36

CrispySquid · 09/01/2026 13:06

What has this teacher allegedly done to put multiple parents/children "through hell"? What warrants her being a "truly awful awful human being" as you put it that would warrant a confrontation of said teacher in public that would lead to such an altercation? Safeguarding issue? Abuse? Extreme Bullying?

Yes I would say her behaviour could be described as bullying, if not intentional intimidation

OP posts:
Winterstorms2 · 09/01/2026 13:32

Bushmillsbabe · 09/01/2026 13:03

Ah, so you know her very well personally then? To know what type of person she is.

Sounds like this is absolutely nothing to do with concerns regarding your child and nothing at all to do with this ladies teaching abilities or anything connected to school, as that would addressed in the school and not in a random 'public place'.

So yes I also feel sorry for her, it sounds like there is a group of parents who have focused a bit too much of their (negative) energies on her.

Despite being asked many times you haven't revealed the specific topic of this conversation, which is quite telling in itself. Maybe your friend didn't tell you, or maybe once revealed you feel people would side more with the teacher.

As a governor having seen what some parents put teachers through, I would love to hear her side of the story. There have definitely been times when parents have embarked on what can only be described as a witch hunt against teachers, often as a response to a child doing something they shouldn't have and parents refusing to believe their child is anything but perfect. A couple have had to be banned from the site due to aggressive behaviour.

Edited

Well i can assure you that is not the case here and I resent the implication.

OP posts:
CrispySquid · 09/01/2026 13:06

What has this teacher allegedly done to put multiple parents/children "through hell"? What warrants her being a "truly awful awful human being" as you put it that would warrant a confrontation of said teacher in public that would lead to such an altercation? Safeguarding issue? Abuse? Extreme Bullying?

Bushmillsbabe · 09/01/2026 13:03

Ah, so you know her very well personally then? To know what type of person she is.

Sounds like this is absolutely nothing to do with concerns regarding your child and nothing at all to do with this ladies teaching abilities or anything connected to school, as that would addressed in the school and not in a random 'public place'.

So yes I also feel sorry for her, it sounds like there is a group of parents who have focused a bit too much of their (negative) energies on her.

Despite being asked many times you haven't revealed the specific topic of this conversation, which is quite telling in itself. Maybe your friend didn't tell you, or maybe once revealed you feel people would side more with the teacher.

As a governor having seen what some parents put teachers through, I would love to hear her side of the story. There have definitely been times when parents have embarked on what can only be described as a witch hunt against teachers, often as a response to a child doing something they shouldn't have and parents refusing to believe their child is anything but perfect. A couple have had to be banned from the site due to aggressive behaviour.