Would you inform the school?

Winterstorms2 · 2026-01-08T16:34:46+00:00

My friend recently got into an argument with her friend. The argument started off as a conversation which quickly turned into an argument, (my friends friend accusing her of things, name calling her etc) in the end my friend was spat at. She was horrified but does not want to do anything about it. My friend’s “friend” is a teacher. AIBU to think my friend should inform the school of this behaviour? Im tempted to do so myself! Our children both attend the school she teaches at. What would you feelings be?

Lightuptheroom · 14/01/2026 12:53

@Auroraloves OP friend has decided to report the incident to the police. The school doesn't need to be informed other than if the police decide to inform them. The other posts are mainly reiterating that it isn't for the OP or the friend making the allegation to inform the school as it's a criminal allegation which didn't occur in the person's work place or involve a child.

Original poster

Winterstorms2 · 14/01/2026 12:37

AutumnAllTheWay · 14/01/2026 12:35

😂

The more you keep talking, the more you keep proving us all correct!

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O….k… Im still not sure why you are still here … but thank you for investing so much of your time and energy into this

OP posts:

AutumnAllTheWay · 14/01/2026 12:35

Winterstorms2 · 14/01/2026 09:56

Well thats on you. I am in no way inclined to go around making false allegations or allegations that hold no water with little to no evidence. Thank you.

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😂

The more you keep talking, the more you keep proving us all correct!

Auroraloves · 14/01/2026 10:43

@Winterstorms2 have the school or police been informed about this, sorry I know I could read through past posts but there are a lot!

BlackCat14 · 14/01/2026 10:13

Any update on how the police report has gone?

Lightuptheroom · 14/01/2026 10:04

@ClawsandEffect It's very easy to make an allegation. If you look up common assault its quite literally that someone feels under the threat of violence. Hence why reporting an incident doesn't actually mean it will be on record for any individual outside of the police computer system where the majority of this type of incident is given a number with NFA next to it. I'm not commenting on this particular incident by the way, only what normally happens on the administration side

Original poster

Winterstorms2 · 14/01/2026 09:56

ClawsandEffect · 13/01/2026 22:21

With this level of vindictiveness I can see how easily allegations can be made.

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Well thats on you. I am in no way inclined to go around making false allegations or allegations that hold no water with little to no evidence. Thank you.

OP posts:

ClawsandEffect · 13/01/2026 22:21

Winterstorms2 · 12/01/2026 14:02

I am in no ways at all deluded as to what it could be used for. Of course it literally records that an incident has been reported. i am well aware of this. Even if it amounts to nothing this time, it will be useful if the teacher in future continues with her behaviour to look back on say “this is not the first time someone has been concerned enough about your behaviour to report it”

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With this level of vindictiveness I can see how easily allegations can be made.

Original poster

Winterstorms2 · 12/01/2026 17:55

AutumnAllTheWay · 12/01/2026 17:51

The op could have a bustup with someone in an isolation booth 😂

And is very vendetter-y as a person

With the whole of mumsnet in many posts

😉😉😉 here you go again. How old woukd you say i am? Age? Sex? Sexuality? Nationality? Seeing as you know oh so much

OP posts:

Original poster

Winterstorms2 · 12/01/2026 17:54

Bushmillsbabe · 12/01/2026 17:44

Well I presume she is no longer your friends friend now? Why was she friends with her if she has a long history of unpleasant behaviour. Clearly she has poor taste in friends!

You did describe her as a bully. Even if someone hasn't bullied me I generally try to have as little as I can to do with those who have caused harm to my friends or relatives.

No no she is not. and yes yes i do have as little to do with her as possible??

OP posts:

AutumnAllTheWay · 12/01/2026 17:51

The op could have a bustup with someone in an isolation booth 😂

And is very vendetter-y as a person

With the whole of mumsnet in many posts

Bushmillsbabe · 12/01/2026 17:44

Well I presume she is no longer your friends friend now? Why was she friends with her if she has a long history of unpleasant behaviour. Clearly she has poor taste in friends!

You did describe her as a bully. Even if someone hasn't bullied me I generally try to have as little as I can to do with those who have caused harm to my friends or relatives.

Original poster

Winterstorms2 · 12/01/2026 17:11

Periperi2025 · 12/01/2026 17:09

I find it amazing as a busy adult with kids, work, family, hobbies etc, that you see so much of this person you so strongly dislike and who allegedly bullies you, i barely find the time to see the people i like and want to be around.

Just grow up and stop engaging with this person.

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Where on earth have i said that she bullies me??? Or indeed spend that much time with her? Shes my friend’s friend not mine. She is a teacher at the school my child attends and a well known community figure shall we say. Stop bloody misinterpreting things

OP posts:

Periperi2025 · 12/01/2026 17:09

Winterstorms2 · 12/01/2026 16:57

of course but if you come to mumsnet they would tell you without concert evidence there is no point its just hearsay etc etc etc its just you being spiteful, its a witch hunt, its a vendetta , you do realise she will loose her job? Shes only human. You will be laughed out of the office, the headteacher will protect her. Its pretty obvious by now that on mumsnet you are damned if you do and damned if you don’t like you have just proven

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I find it amazing as a busy adult with kids, work, family, hobbies etc, that you see so much of this person you so strongly dislike and who allegedly bullies you, i barely find the time to see the people i like and want to be around.

Just grow up and stop engaging with this person.

Original poster

Winterstorms2 · 12/01/2026 16:57

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 12/01/2026 16:51

Accusations of long standing bullying (by an apparent friend no less...) are worth reporting to the head too...

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of course but if you come to mumsnet they would tell you without concert evidence there is no point its just hearsay etc etc etc its just you being spiteful, its a witch hunt, its a vendetta , you do realise she will loose her job? Shes only human. You will be laughed out of the office, the headteacher will protect her. Its pretty obvious by now that on mumsnet you are damned if you do and damned if you don’t like you have just proven

OP posts:

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 12/01/2026 16:51

Winterstorms2 · 12/01/2026 15:18

An act of assault that can be proven is very very different.

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Accusations of long standing bullying (by an apparent friend no less...) are worth reporting to the head too...

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 12/01/2026 16:51

FunCrab · 12/01/2026 15:10

I understand there is a section on DBS which states 'Other relevant information disclosed at the Chief Police Officer(s) discretion'
A teacher would require an enhanced DBS.
And if this was reported to the police, my understanding is it would be at their discretion.

I commented before on what might happen to a student who displayed these behaviours and it was suggested they could be excluded from school which would appear a severe sanction but if this was the rules indeed they should be followed.

On the other hand a teacher who is deemed to be the role model could go back to a classroom with no sanction if a complaint was raised or the school became aware (?via police) regardless where the transgression occurred makes a clear mockery of the system in my view.

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An accusation which goes nowhere won't show up on a DBS check because nothing came from it. And even if it did, the teacher would just be asked about what it was about and would say it was an accusation made that the police found no evidence to support

A student would also have to have more than just hearsay to be suspended

A school cannot just fire a teacher because of an accusation which the police decide there's no evidence to pursue. Can you imagine if they did? Parents who had an issue with a teacher could report them for anything and get them fired on no basis at all

Periperi2025 · 12/01/2026 16:35

Winterstorms2 · 12/01/2026 16:33

You invested a lot of time into that, thank you

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About 1 minute to Google and copy and paste. Not hard.

Original poster

Winterstorms2 · 12/01/2026 16:33

Periperi2025 · 12/01/2026 15:44

"Before panicking (or celebrating in OP case) about this it is always important to look at the numbers. The latest numbers I have been able to obtain refer to the year 2022 and were obtained by accused.me.uk via a freedom of information request. They show that in that in 2022 4,446,635 enhanced DBS checks were carried out. Of these 1,466,420 of the applications were flagged for local police forces holding “intelligence”. However, only 4,751 applications included any of that further information held by local police forces. This means only 0.32% of the checks where there was further information did it make it on to the check for disclosure."

I'm assuming the 1 in 300 disclosures weren't for people working with kids who've had an argument with another adult get out of hand!!

Edited

You invested a lot of time into that, thank you

OP posts:

Periperi2025 · 12/01/2026 15:44

"Before panicking (or celebrating in OP case) about this it is always important to look at the numbers. The latest numbers I have been able to obtain refer to the year 2022 and were obtained by accused.me.uk via a freedom of information request. They show that in that in 2022 4,446,635 enhanced DBS checks were carried out. Of these 1,466,420 of the applications were flagged for local police forces holding “intelligence”. However, only 4,751 applications included any of that further information held by local police forces. This means only 0.32% of the checks where there was further information did it make it on to the check for disclosure."

I'm assuming the 1 in 300 disclosures weren't for people working with kids who've had an argument with another adult get out of hand!!

Original poster

Winterstorms2 · 12/01/2026 15:26

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 12/01/2026 15:06

Anyway as you definitely remind me of another poster, I await the suspiciously quick turn around reply where:
The police announce they were horrified a teacher of all people did such a heinous crime and put all their effort into proving it happened
The accused is fired immediately by the school, before any police decision is made, and struck off from ever teaching again
The accused gets arrested, everyone is horrified a teacher did this and she goes to prison for life

Either way it will be reported

OP posts:

Original poster

Winterstorms2 · 12/01/2026 15:25

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 12/01/2026 15:06

Anyway as you definitely remind me of another poster, I await the suspiciously quick turn around reply where:
The police announce they were horrified a teacher of all people did such a heinous crime and put all their effort into proving it happened
The accused is fired immediately by the school, before any police decision is made, and struck off from ever teaching again
The accused gets arrested, everyone is horrified a teacher did this and she goes to prison for life

Im glad you can keep yourself entertained in life by creating and imagining various scenarios

OP posts:

Original poster

Winterstorms2 · 12/01/2026 15:18

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 12/01/2026 15:04

But you haven't even tried going to the head about the apparently very long standing issues with this teacher...

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An act of assault that can be proven is very very different.

OP posts:

FunCrab · 12/01/2026 15:10

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 12/01/2026 11:52

Assuming anything could even be proved
If she's let off because of no proof then there's nothing to show on a DBS check and nothing for her to be fired over

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I understand there is a section on DBS which states 'Other relevant information disclosed at the Chief Police Officer(s) discretion'
A teacher would require an enhanced DBS.
And if this was reported to the police, my understanding is it would be at their discretion.

I commented before on what might happen to a student who displayed these behaviours and it was suggested they could be excluded from school which would appear a severe sanction but if this was the rules indeed they should be followed.

On the other hand a teacher who is deemed to be the role model could go back to a classroom with no sanction if a complaint was raised or the school became aware (?via police) regardless where the transgression occurred makes a clear mockery of the system in my view.

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 12/01/2026 15:06

Anyway as you definitely remind me of another poster, I await the suspiciously quick turn around reply where:
The police announce they were horrified a teacher of all people did such a heinous crime and put all their effort into proving it happened
The accused is fired immediately by the school, before any police decision is made, and struck off from ever teaching again
The accused gets arrested, everyone is horrified a teacher did this and she goes to prison for life