Friend annoyed with me over NYE plans

You really should just have been honest. You should have said 'I'm really sorry but we've been invited by some friends to spend NYE with them this year and we said yes.' Something like that. Lack of communication leads to misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Why can't people just communicate anymore? It's really not that difficult just to say you've been invited somewhere else, ffs.

How would you have felt if it was reversed? It sounds like you were happy to have this arrangement while you had no other options but the minute you had choice you ditched the friend and didn't even warn them you were planning that. Doesn't sound like friendship to be honest more convenience. Probably the end of friendship now they've worked it out.

Or you could even have softened it by saying you'd been invited to a NYE party with friends round your way and that you couldnt invite them because it was also involving a meal first round someone's house and so you couldnt impose extra guests on them. But that you'd love to aww rhwm anirher weekend . A white lie doesnt hurt an would have been better than your clumsy d

In light of this… YABU. If you’ve had a ‘tradition’ of it for a number of years, it had been mentioned by them and you didn’t say no, I think they could reasonably have thought you were agreeable to it as you had been all the times before.

YWVVVU to not actually have the balls to tell them. I’d have been very hurt if i was them and it would have a big impact on the friendship.

I’m sorry your friends didn’t conveniently and cheerfully read your mind and disappear from your life when you didn’t want them there, and actually brought it up and forced you to awkwardly sidestep. The good news is they will never ever expect anything from you or want to see you on nye or possibly ever again, so you won’t have to go through that again.

Op ghosted us too! Think this pattern of behaviour is the usual!

Yup.

You should have made it clear early on you wanted to change things up.

Sounds pretty unkind to leave them hanging so you can be with your cooler friends

Glad you're not my friend, you sound horrible.

You basically avoided telling them you had plans and they assumed everything was fine because they did mention it. That is really rude of you and they have every right to be upset because you did ditch them. I think most would be mad and those on here who aren't don't sound like they would be good friends to have either.

You were really unkind OP and a pretty awful friend. You owe them a very sincere apology and should hope they don't just ditch you the way you ditched them.

This, OP has not heard what she wants to hear, so like her cowardly, spineless action with her friends, she has done the same here.
The OP is very immature, and needs to grow up and see the value of good friends. I detest people like her, and I dislike shallow people.

OP seems to have bailed on this thread like she bailed on her friends.

You sound like a fairweather friend. For years you hosted each other, and when your new friends, came along you ditched the other couple.

You were too gutless to even tell them, you knew they would assume you were spending it together. Please let this couple go, they deserve better than you. To be honest you sound a lousy friend.

I agree things move on, but loyalty, friendship and caring for each other matter too. You really sound a user and you were just waiting for something better to come along.

You were in the wrong. Not surprised they were annoyed. You could have simply said, ‘’We don’t know what to do for the best because some other friends of ours will be alone on New Year’s Eve and we were thinking of inviting them, how would you feel about them joining us?’’

The ball is in your friends’ court then to agree or not and then you can make the call after, but at least they would have known the score. It’s not difficult.

It was shitty of you.

You should have been really transparent. Told
your old friends you’d been invited to a gathering and wanted to go but would love to arrange another special evening with them - etc.

this. not unreasonable to not commit yourself to alternating for the rest of your lives - unreasonable to not just tell them like adults "sorry we've already been invited somewhere else and feel we have to go there (insert reason even if it's a white lie) - but let's meet up in the new year." Yes it might have been a slightly awkward conversation to avoid suggesting you only see them if you don't get any better offers but better than no conversation at all!

Exactly. It wouldn't have taken much to behave in a courteous way.

You should have questioned yourself before now. It was an established pattern to spend NYE together so of course they feel let down - surely you can understand this?

You are not a good friend.

I disagree. The OP does owe these friends courtesy.

Perhaps OP is worried the old friends will be liked a little too much by this new friendship group, putting OPs nose out of joint. I can't think why else you would want to gatekeep your new friends. Perhaps OP lacks confidence as well as manners and compassion

Presumably you’re an adult?

What childish, shitty behaviour.
You should’ve told them as soon as you knew.
Grow up.

So you don't think being upfront and telling this long standing, loyal friend who clearly is very fond of OP that she won't be seeing them this NY? Next year this shiny new friendship group might decide to kick op to the kerb and she will be the one spending NYE alone, but hey no one owes anyone anything right?

Can’t believe you don’t think there is anything wrong with how you acted. I’d never treat my friends like this. Selfish and thoughtless…

Bollocks. Why couldn’t it have worked? Presumably you’re all adults although your behaviour doesn’t seem like it. You just didn’t want your old friends there as you think you’ve gone up a notch. I’m not surprised they’re hurt, your behaviour was shitty.