Friend annoyed with me over NYE plans

You’re unreasonable as you didn’t say anything to them. The right thing to do would have been to tell them you had plans this NYE. Not just avoid the conversation altogether. I can understand why they are hurt with the way it was handled.

Failing to see how you don’t understand their gripe really. You didn’t outright tell them you had other plans, you presumably just failed to turn up on the night and went somewhere else?? Your follow up suggests this happens, like they were expecting you because it’s tradition and you hadn’t cancelled but you didn’t show?

Well that was very rude and inconsiderate.

Perfectly fine to not do New Years with them but as you had a long standing commitment / tradition you should have told them as early as possible so that they knew what was happening and could make alternative plans.

I agree that you handled this terribly.

You didnt want to say no so you didnt say anything and allowed them to assume that the traditional get together was still happening.

Really shitty thing to do.

I don’t see why it wouldn’t have worked. It’s possible to have a gathering where you invite a group who know each other and one other couple who don’t (yet) know the other people. That’s one of the ways people make new friends isn’t it? Obviously if someone else was hosting, it’s different.

But as PPs have said- it sounds like you didn’t communicate your plans to them in good time which has left them feeling understandably hurt.

I disagree, if you’re hosting it’s not unusual to have a mix of people. You chose not to invite them- for whatever reason you didn’t want them mixing with your new friends. Fine, but you were v unreasonable to not clarify your plans with them the minute you knew you weren’t spending with them. You left them hanging.

They have every right to feel upset with you.
You have basically ditched them for new friends.
And, you felt too awkward (apparently) to even bother to be honest with them.
You aren’t required to spend New Year with anyone, obviously, but as it’s something you do every year that’s become tradition, and it was expected, and you didn’t even tell them, of course YATA.
i hope your new friends are amazing and you never treat them the way you have your previous friends, as you may end up being rather lonely.

Unfair, rude and juvenile not to tell them MONTHS in advance when you clearly had decided to make other plans.

Let’s hope you keep these new friends OP

So they assumed you would be coming and you knew several months ago that you would not be and didn't say so. That's horrible behaviour.

I think they are reasonable to be hurt. They asked, you did not make a decision and then ducked out of saying you intended going somewhere else. So you left them high and dry for your new friends. You should have said that you were not doing the usual thing this year, maybe planned something else with your old friends.

Oh awful behaviour on your part. You know it was and now want strangers to help you justify your appalling, spineless behaviour. Karma will prevail.

Could you have handled any worse? Rude and dismissive of old friends. Awful behaviour. I think you need to apologise if you want to see them again.

New friends will probably ditch you for someone new next NYE.

Do you mean they were expecting you (because you hadn't let them know anything different) so they just sat there on NYE waiting for you and you didn't turn up? Wow.

You should have communicated your plans to them, I understand why they are hurt.

I'd be really hurt if I was treated this way - especially as you were celebrating with a group of people and so could easily have included your original friends.

Don't be surprised if they ditch you for treating them this way. You don't sound particularly nice or kind.

I dont understand why

Unequivocally rude, and bad friends. I hope they have realised now what poor regard you clearly hold them in that you couldn’t even be bothered to tell them you’d made other plans months ago, and move on to find a better circle than you two cowards

Really? Why not? Seems horrible to dump them to me.

I'm surprised ppl on here are saying you were cheeky to ditch them. I think you can spend NYE with who you like. But if you got them to believe the date was on and then just dumped them, that's a slightly different matter. Why couldnt you have included them though. In my experience, once everybody has had a few drinks it' s a case of the more the merrier. When I was younger, house parties at NY were great precisely because a whole bunch of different people turned up and the dynamuc usually was a laugh.

It was awful to dodge the question. Of course you hurt them. This was an established thing and if you wanted to change it, (which is fair enough) the decent thing to do would be to say so.

That’s sort of cowardly and not nice behaviour tbh. You’re free to do as you please but you could have been more mature about it and just told them you had already been asked to attend a different event this year so they had proper confirmation from you and perhaps could have organised something else.

Just tell them you have found better friends.