Sadly I do believe it's real. it's a depressingly common story unfortunately. Women who have grown up with poor relationship role models and low self esteem will tolerate and accept any old shit rather than be alone.
They just don't believe that better men exist and are worth waiting for, because all the men they've ever known are pretty much the same. They'll often trade in one dud only to end up with another, no better than the last. Even though all the signs of a dud are there from the beginning, they set the bar so depressingly low for men to get into their beds, their homes and their lives that history just keeps repeating itself. And they wonder why?
It's perfectly normal to them (and often their mothers, their sisters and many of their friends) to expect a relationship to come in the form of drama, trauma, lies, betrayal, confrontation and constant disappointment. It's just one long, drawn out battle where she's determined to 'break in' and conquer some sorry excuse for a man who simply refuses to be 'broken in' and quite likes himself as the selfish, uncivilised pig that he is, thank you very much.
To these women, 'loving someone' is an endurance event of strength, determination and sheer will. It's an emotional Iron Man. It's a state of mentally exhausting firefighting, day in, day out for years on end. It never occurs to these women that at any point they are allowed to just stop, give up and walk away. That would seem like failure to them. They'd rather continue this futile battle they can't ever win, than actually allow themselves some peace and dignity and some actual bloody happiness by throwing in the towel and moving on.
This is what they think love is. No pain, no gain. It's tragic. It sickens, bewilders and enrages me that so many women think that being 'in love' means grabbing the nearest, clearly unsuitable, unworthy and pretty fucking unappealing man and then wasting years trying to metaphorically hammer him into the shape of the man she wishes he was, but he clearly doesn't want to be. It's utter madness.
Surely in order to love with someone you have to actually like them? The OP doesn't like anything about this man. What she likes is the idea of being with a better, nicer man. But for some reason, instead of waiting for him, refusing to compromise and learning to enjoy life on her own until he comes along, she puts all her energies into this pointless, masochistic shit show.