Have I ruined everything

Please please get your ducks in a row and get away from this horrible specimen.
This is no life for you, hes a sexually obsessed disgusting f*king pervert

Please end this.

From your updates, it looks as if you’re not living together, so have no property or financial ties which could make things more difficult.

The sex / porn issue is bad enough, but adding in the manipulation, emotional abuse, drug use and general awful behaviour are not anything that you have to put up with.

You deserve so much more - he doesn’t give you even the most basic respect. It does not seem as if he brings anything to this relationship and does not display any love or affection to you.

Hopefully seeing what you have written here and other people’s replies will help you to understand that this is not acceptable and you don’t have to live with any of this.

You will be so much happier without this waste of space

Why the fuck does he think you want to see a video of him wanking 🤮🤮🤮

Hooray that you don't live with him! There is absolutely nothing to stop you ditching this pathetic scumbag and the minute you do, you'll start to recover the fun person you once were.

To say that you can do better than this is the understatement of the century OP!

Weirdo.

From the sounds of it, your partner may have many self inflicted health issues that could be unknowingly affecting him sexually, but there is no need to take them out on you. Many drug users suffer from delayed ejaculation and feel deficient when they are with their partner which makes it worse. Whilst they still have this problem when they enjoy themselves, they may not have to wait for the main event as long as they don't have to live up to your perceived expectations. It sounds to me like he is taking this out on you and not connecting the dots.

He has brainwashed you into thinking you need to stay in his horrible abusive world. but You don't live with him. You just need to stop yourself from going anywhere near him.

You need help to leave him and his dog which could attack you next time or even your poor dog again.

You cannot fix him. You can only fix yourself and find out why you feel you have to support him and put up with his disgusting abusive behaviour.

What you mention here is likely just the tip of the iceberg and you may not even realise the extent of his manipulation. It would not be surprising to hear that you are financially supporting him. He is damaging your mental health, future happiness, and future security.

I'm sure people on here can recommend some advice organisations like women's aid who will help you get some real life support to break ties, leave him for good, recover from the pain he's inflicted and help you move on with your life to a better place.

I hope that you manage to do this, but it does sound like you need some Real life support. Find a safe way to leave him. You can just walk. You owe him nothing, not even an explanation. He already knows what he's done. But he is an abusive man so please get advice on the safest way to leave.

Ah no, no! Find yourself a decent, kind man. There are plenty out there.

Why are you with him? He's treating you awfully and lying constantly. He's not making you happy. Why would you keep going back to be abused time and time again?
You have your own place. Good! Tell him you're done and literally don't contact him.
This is a really sad read and I'm shocked that people would tolerate being treated this way, especially when they have their own home and money.
He's told you you're not an easy person to be with you try and trap you. You are absolutely wayyyyyyyyy more of a catch than he will ever be.

Let's be real, OP.
Yes, he's watching porn.
Yes, he's doing drugs.
Yes, he's taking pleasure in upsetting you by sending these offensive videos.

He is, quite literally, a wanker. He's shattering your self-esteem and enjoying doing so. Dump him TODAY and don't look back.

He is absolutely disgusting and what he is doing is sexual abuse. I will add however, that you may need some therapy after this to get over your issues around masturbation, it is totally understandable given what he has been doing to you but if you want to have a healthy relationship with someone in the future you can’t be telling your partner he can’t wank.

@theheckisgoingon28 You deserve better than this! Listen to that sentence and say it repeatedly to yourself.

Sometimes we hit a problem with our partner and its something we can work through together. The problem you have is that he doesn't see it as his problem, he sees your reaction as the problem and I also think he gets a kick out of sending you porn.

When you RIGHTFULLY take issue with his activities, he deflects from your point and makes it about your reaction and makes out you are the one with the issue. He is winding you up over whether he is or isn't doing drugs and he is taunting you with his porn.

That aside, this relationship isn't going anywhere, he lives in a house with a destroyer dog that wrecks his home and is happy for that to be the reason you can't move in. If he wanted you there, he would be making moves to resolve this and he is not. He likes the control.

You sound like you have low self worth. He is dragging you down and destroying who you are and trying to make out you are the issue. Let me be quite clear, his behaviour is vile and unacceptable and it sounds like he enjoys provoking you. I have no hesitation in telling you to walk away. Sever all contact with him. Block him on every media source and change your locks. Leave no space for him getting back in your life. Start working on your self worth and build your confidence up, maybe see a counsellor to help.

If you stay in this relationship, you will continue to become a former shadow of yourself and you deserve to be happy. Be brave OP, value yourself as he clearly doesn't.

In the long term, there are men out there that will treasure and love the real you, if you give them a chance. Don't settle for this excuse of a man.

You don't live with him, you don't have kids together.
This is easy. Just tell him it's over and block him everywhere. You don't even need a reason or justification because he will try to logic you out of it. Just tell him you are done.

Does your daughter know how he is affecting you (not necessarily the details)?

Will she be able to support you in sticking to your guns once you've dumped him?

He is your choice. Your choice makes you sad. Correct your mistake. Learn. Leave him NOW. And make better choices in the future. Men will have to meet criteria YOU set. If you want to be happy, tell him to go TODAY!! Take control.

Then sorry but you are old enough to leave this awful specimen of a man.
You don’t have to stay with him as you are all set up for an independent life
Just walk away with your dignity intact.

Just leave this mega twat. He's disgusting and you deserve infinitely better.

Yes, I thought you must be talking about a very young man.

Mate, come on. You’ve lived a life, you’ve got a daughter who’s old enough to be working.

Dump this idiot and never look back, please.

Same. To put it bluntly Op sounds very young. Her writing style is very young too. Lots and lots of explaining.

A partner should make you feel happy and safe and good about yourself...

He does absolutely none of this - he does not love you. He lies to your face endlessly.

Repeat this to yourself - he is NOT going to change. He does not want to. He enjoys hurting you, lying to you, upsetting you.

Get rid and have a happy life!

My god why the hell are you with this total abusive soul destroying bastard?

Please, please walk away from this relationship NOW.

He makes you sad, and riddled with anxiety and he gaslights you constantly. For your own sake please end this relationship, block him, and never see him again.

YOU are worth SO much more than this. You are better than this and you deserve better. Please believe that, and want that for yourself.

He sounds absolutely vile. I am sickened and sad on your behalf at hus behaviour.
There is a happier healthier life waiting for you without him.
Tell him it's over.
You can do it.

Come on love, this is not a relationship to continue. Just walk away, you have a home- so go home and block this revolting specimen!