Have I ruined everything

Block him anyway

There is nothing loveable about him

He is vile and brings nothing worthwhile to your life @theheckisgoingon28

Do you want to be with this pig, living this life, when you're 40?

How old is your child and is she ever around him?

One more post begging you to dump this abusive, misogynistic loser and get on with your life.

I've never met you and I never will, but I know for an absolute fact you can do better than this. Although tbh, being alone forever sounds like bliss compared to one more day with this vile cunt.

Does he bring any real happiness to your life? Any at all? If not, why on earth are you still with him? There aren't going to be medals for long service or prizes for endurance or anything.

The best time to dump him was ages ago. The second best time is today. Give yourself a new year gift of a fresh start.💐

Leave him, he’s disgusting.

But also, please don’t enter ANY other relationship, including casual dating, before doing some very deep thinking (preferably therapy) about your own self worth and boundaries.

There are many many terrible men out there. You need to have the self esteem to say no and dump at the first sign.

I've just read your posts Op.

He also does drugs!

On the plus side you have your own place and a dog!

Hopefully that means you can just walk away.

Fuck sake, stop trying to excuse this disgusting man and end it. Why are you continuing to make it your problem? You don’t need him for anything.
This is bizarre!

Ugh. What a repulsive man. He sends you videos of himself with his dick out? You are worth better than this awful specimen of manhood. He's absolutely revolting! Please leave. You need to for your own self-esteem. Let him watch his porn and wank himself stupid - on his own. If he sends you any more videos, block him. Sending you love and strength.

Sad?

Disgusted and outraged

Dump him

Now.

Everyone here is telling you to LEAVE THE BASTARD, but from what I can see, you haven’t responded to anyone’s message addressing that. Don’t you think you deserve better? Please, for your own wellbeing, listen to what we’re saying. x

It may be him, it may be you (it really isn't but let's go with your narrative). If it's you , you should set him free to find someone he can finish with quickly ( like a blowup doll )
Either ways you are not suited to be together so please break up.

Dump, block, cry into your ice-cream and then when you feel a little better gets lots and lots of therapy (edit to add - for your self esteem not any phobias). He has done a huge number on you for you to even entertain the thought that it may be you. It is 100% him.

When we had sex it would go on for hours with no end . After the first time I remember him saying ‘ I hope you ain’t one of them girls who thinks it’s because of them’ i said no but I did feel that way.

I didn't read past that.

That was the time to leave!

I did.

Once.

In slow motion 🤢🤮

Obviously, that was the end.

Yes, OP, I dumped him.

OP, you are not the problem here. You've got your own home, a job, a lovely dog and family to share your home with.

Your boyfriend lies about using porn, lies about taking drugs, gaslights you, sends you disgusting images (no one wants to receive a video of their OH wanking surely?!), the sex sounds totally grim, and he has a dog that is completely out of control and is wrecking his home and threatening the safety of your dog (and probably you).

You can't fix him. You need to save yourself. Leave him and enjoy your life without him.

You do not need therapy for a "phobia" of wanking or drugs,

You do need therapy for your appallingly low self-esteem and vulnerability to abusive relationships.

GP might be a good place to start.
Anyone else here know how to find a therapist?

You are incompatible and have very different views on pornography.
He has no respect for your boundaries or feelings if he's sending you sexually explicit videos that you don't want to receive.
Leave this dysfunctional relationship for your own wellbeing and sanity.
If you want to be kind to him advise him to seek therapy to deal with his insecurities,sexual inadequacies so that it doesnt destroy any future relationships.
You deserve better than this repulsive man.

Why is he in bed wanking while your at work..

Anyway - dump him - he sounds gross!

Fanny fully clamped. blurgh

Please just block him on everything, do not see him again, don't be thinking what he's thinking or doing or even utter his name, that chapter of your life with that creep is over. Live your life, you have a nice home family and dog and a job. You deserve to be happy. Make plans for the future, things that bring you joy, take care of you

I've never had a bloke send me a video of him wanking. Not ever.

OP why are you caring? Your deal breaker is porn. You haven't enforced that and told him to fuck off. Why?

It doesn't sound as though you live together? Just end it. Your mental health is more important than this sex creep.

But that’s a HUGE underlying issue for someone who consider porn = cheating.

He was never going to stop watching porn if he was spending do much time watching it when you met.

He isn’t a nice person with one small flaw - a crap sex life.
He is lying
He is shifting blame onto you
He is goading you knowing the impact it has on you.
None of this are the hallmarks of a nice person

Ok, I want to reiterate to you
YOU ARE NOT THE PROBLEM.

Actually, you approached things like an adult and put boundaries rigut from the start - you consider porn = cheating and will not accept it in your relationship.

HE could have come clean and say he has a porn addiction (theres a reason why he can’t come)
HE could have said the relationship isn’t for him and stepped back
Instead he choose to lie. That was HIS choice. Nothing, absolutely nothing, to do with you.

Then he started to use porn when having sex with you?!? That was HIS choice again. Nothing to do with you.

If you really want to say ‘this is where I could have dine better’ its when you stayed after learning he is using porn and is a porn addict.
But even then, the way he is goading you (because That’s goading) about ‘having a wank’ (or not) p, Which is basically a code for watching porn, tells me he is also abusive. And that’s what abuse does. Makes you think,you’re tye one at fault and it makes it hard/harder to leave.

Please, just go back to your house. To your dog. To your friends.
Blick him. He is never going to give you any respect or love. And you deserve so much better than that.
Let him enjoy his days watching porn on his own.
And ho back to enjoy your life, your way. Wo an unnecessary weight aroubd your ankles.

He’s a revolting lying addict. You deserve so much better.

Oh please lovely , you deserve to be loved and treated like a princess not have some gross idiot messing with your head. It really is all him and not you at all - this is not normal and you dont have to put up with it - honestly

But that's the point, it wasn't happening when he was with you, only after when the pressure is off. Sounds like it could be drug related to me.

YABU to be wasting your time on this prick. Get rid.

Leave, block and enjoy your life. It’s that simple. You have NO ties to him, thank god. All the stress and fog is from him - you will feel so much better once you walk away. Try the Freedom Programme for support in living your life free from this odious scrote.

Read your own words back as if you are an outsider. You'll soon make the right decision.