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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want to go to USA?

191 replies

DalekStarmer · 08/01/2026 09:05

DH and I used to go to the states every year on holiday. Different places each time - we loved it. This stopped during Covid when our holiday to Montana was cancelled. After Covid we planned to go back but ended up cancelling due to various things. Anyway, DH is keen to get back to our US trips and wanted to go last year. I said I didn’t fancy it due to Trump and the new hostile attitude towards foreigners. I said I’d consider it this year … now I’m even less in favour of it. It just doesn’t feel safe at all. DH is disappointed. AIBU?

OP posts:
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HRTQueen · 08/01/2026 11:18

I can understand why people want to avoid the US at the moment, there are many places in the world that are often best avoided just they do not tent to be western countries

my family there are concerned but life for them is carrying on as normal as it will be for the majority of people living there

Greenfinch7 · 08/01/2026 11:15

Ialwaysthoughtitwasadojo · 08/01/2026 10:09

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/apr/05/i-was-a-british-tourist-trying-to-leave-america-then-i-was-detained-shackled-and-sent-to-an-immigration-detention-centre

Another one here... what scares me about this, is you get something wrong in their bureaucratic system and end up detained, shackled, no trial, No legal advice.

And this one, a journalist, who had a valid visa...

https://edition.cnn.com/2025/11/13/uk/sami-hamdi-uk-us-ice-trump-intl-hnk

I could go on...

The US government at the moment is evil; I have complete sympathy with anyone who chooses not to come here because they are horrified by Trump and co.

But the people who have problems at the border or have their visas revoked are very unusual and also have either messed up their visas or are doing something more than liking posts on social media to declare their opposition to US government.

The Welsh girl who keeps being mentioned was actually stopped by the Canadian authorities as she tried to enter Canada, and this journalist was travelling to give talks at public events: "Hamdi is known for his appearances on British TV, his analyses on Middle East developments, for his support of the Palestinian cause – and his criticism of Israel’s war in Gaza."

Just to be clear, I think both of these stories are terrible and completely unjustifiable, but both these people were doing things that were quite clearly risky and not within the current rules.

British tourists can come to the US without any problems, just don't work here or give public rallies in support of Gaza.

ScaredOfFlying · 08/01/2026 11:13

Dollyfloss · 08/01/2026 10:41

Cool. The OP said she doesn’t want to go bc she doesn’t think it’s safe and I was responding to her with my opinion.

No, you quoted another post that said people who refused to go there because they did not like Trump were “performative” and you said “This”.

HopSpringsEternal · 08/01/2026 11:12

Crikeyalmighty · 08/01/2026 10:44

My H totally refuses to go to Turkey or Hungary based on that too and at the moment the US .

They are in my current no go countries too. Sadly the list seems to be growing. That said, there's loads of nice places left!

rememberingthem · 08/01/2026 11:11

I travel there all the time for work and nothing is changed…its exactly how its always been!

Ialwaysthoughtitwasadojo · 08/01/2026 11:09

WhatIsTheCharge · 08/01/2026 10:28

The one that alarmed me the most recently was the British woman detained at her Green Card interview.

Her circumstances were so similar to mine. She was in a long term relationship with an American, doing the long distance thing at first. She went to the US for one of their regular visits and found out she was pregnant while she was there. They decided to get married, filed all the relevant legal paperwork for her change of immigration status (application for a spouse sponsored Green Card). All paperwork filed and accepted, then they showed up for the interview, took her baby from her, gave the baby to her husband and detained her.
They’d done everything right. Filed all the relevant paperwork and went through an immigration lawyer.

THIS! I don't think the USA is particularly 'dangerous', but I just don't fancy 10 days of detention if I get some paper work wrong, or mae a social media post about Trump. Having my baby taken away, no legal access, shackled like a criminal!

Soonenough · 08/01/2026 11:05

I could possibly be in jail for my anti Trump sentiments on social media . Probably scare mongering tales but why bother. There is the whole world to explore .

Zebedee999 · 08/01/2026 11:04

DalekStarmer · 08/01/2026 09:05

DH and I used to go to the states every year on holiday. Different places each time - we loved it. This stopped during Covid when our holiday to Montana was cancelled. After Covid we planned to go back but ended up cancelling due to various things. Anyway, DH is keen to get back to our US trips and wanted to go last year. I said I didn’t fancy it due to Trump and the new hostile attitude towards foreigners. I said I’d consider it this year … now I’m even less in favour of it. It just doesn’t feel safe at all. DH is disappointed. AIBU?

People from the UK travel to places like Pakistan, UAE, Turkey etc where there are zero women's rights without batting an eyelid but then get uppity about the USA.

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 08/01/2026 10:59

FerrisWheelsandLilacs · 08/01/2026 09:18

We went to Texas last year (but we are white and I’m not sure if think the same if I wasn’t) and everyone was very welcoming to us as foreigners. I think because it’s not a typical place for foreign tourists (although we visited all the big cities), it was novel to them. All of the police, government, healthcare and hospitality workers that we interacted with were great and welcoming.

We’re going back to Chicago this year.

But I think it’s understandable why you’re reticent.

I personally wouldn’t worry about my own safety.

but we are white and I’m not sure if think the same if I wasn’t)

This is (one of the main) issues for me. I know that this isn’t exclusive to the US. But it just doesn’t inspire holiday feelings in me…

CactusSwoonedEnding · 08/01/2026 10:57

YANBU - I won't be going to the USA while the Wotsit it in charge

MorrisZapp · 08/01/2026 10:55

Try being a Scot with a football obsessed DP and teenage son 😭

I really don't want to go to America in June for the fkn World Cup, there are so many reasons why it's a truly crap idea, not least the 9om kick offs when jet lag will be against us.

I visited New York (state) for work last year. It was in a gentrified part of Long Island and at no point did I feel safe or relaxed. As for the cost of living, fuhgeddaboutit.

Hard no from me, and I used to love our holidays there.

Nearly50omg · 08/01/2026 10:55

Ialwaysthoughtitwasadojo · 08/01/2026 09:19

This girl from Wales was detained for 10 days in a prison! I wouldn't go near the US right now... https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c80y3yx1jdyo

You can find plenty of other stories like this out there.

Of course she did - she broke her visa conditions!!! Even in uk and Australia she’d have had her visa cancelled and be held until they could arrange to deport her!! Working on a non working tourist visa why did she expect?!?🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ this is nothing new! Before trump it was going on too!

MrsSkylerWhite · 08/01/2026 10:53

Passaggressfedup · 08/01/2026 09:35

I hate it when a country and its citizen are defined solely by its political leaders. Its such nonsense! Not 100% of Americans are partisans of the trump campaign. I believe if we take into consideration headcount, he wouldn't have been elected and that's not considering the percentage of non voters.

I have many American friends, some of them who have never been out of the country who hates trump with a passion. They still live, work, offer services to others. They are kind, considerate and welcoming. I've been to the States 4 times since Covid and I've been amazed how welcoming I've felt each time. Then again, this is MN !

Nice sentiment but irrelevant when he and his henchmen are in charge.

EuclidianGeometryFan · 08/01/2026 10:52

DalekStarmer · 08/01/2026 09:12

We’ve been to various places in Italy since the USA trips stopped. I quite fancy trying Sicily this year

Perhaps DH likes being somewhere that they speak a form of English?
Why not suggest Australia or NZ to him? Fantastic scenery.
Find out what he likes about the US and look for that elsewhere.

MrsSkylerWhite · 08/01/2026 10:50

Hotandbothered222 · 08/01/2026 09:18

Not safe? Genuinely, what do you think is going to happen to you, as a tourist?

I think that very much depends on the colour of your skin, your name or your accent.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 08/01/2026 10:49

ScaredOfFlying · 08/01/2026 10:38

Well, some people’s perspective is that there are many other countries more deserving of their tourism. That’s it. They don’t think anything bad will happen if they do go to the USA.

Exactly- probably nothing bad will happen but I think it’s well worth showing the US that many of us will just not go there if they behave in this way.

Yorkshirelass04 · 08/01/2026 10:48

To those saying 'there is always shit going on in the world'

That's true.

But this isn't normal shit and it is highly highly immoral and dangerous. History is being made.

MrsSkylerWhite · 08/01/2026 10:47

MinnieCauldwell · 08/01/2026 09:08

I wouldn't want to give the trump regime my money. I have a friend there in a red state but I will never visit again now.

I would love to go to Canada though. I think they would be more welcoming also.

This. Wouldn’t go to the states until that lunatic is out.
Always wanted to see Canada, that would be my choice.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 08/01/2026 10:46

YANBU

I’d go to Canada instead as others have suggested. More tourism to Canada at the expense of the US would send a very good message too if lots of people did it, and supports Canada.

Lobelia123 · 08/01/2026 10:45

My personal feeling is that Trump's administration wont last forever. Its important to keep travelling, keep engaging, keep contributing to the massive extended network of people who believe in democracy. We might not have a vote to make a difference, but we can remind Americans that they're part of the greater world and that there is a different way. This may sound extremely fanciful but I think its important to stay part of the world and keep the links, even if its as tenuous as the interaction of a tourist with a shop vendor.

Crikeyalmighty · 08/01/2026 10:44

HopSpringsEternal · 08/01/2026 10:18

Unless of course you are on the evergrowing list of countries.Trump has decided to ban from entering the US.
I have travelled to over 50 countries. And i've actively tried to avoid those with terrible regimes to prevent propping up those governments.

My H totally refuses to go to Turkey or Hungary based on that too and at the moment the US .

Dollyfloss · 08/01/2026 10:41

ScaredOfFlying · 08/01/2026 10:38

Well, some people’s perspective is that there are many other countries more deserving of their tourism. That’s it. They don’t think anything bad will happen if they do go to the USA.

Cool. The OP said she doesn’t want to go bc she doesn’t think it’s safe and I was responding to her with my opinion.

MNLurker1345 · 08/01/2026 10:39

WhatIsTheCharge · 08/01/2026 09:15

It’s safe if you’re white and have an American accent.

Its categorically not safe in major cities for people who are even slightly brown and/or have a foreign accent with the Gestapo marching around.

I am black British and have been to America a
couple of times and felt safe and came to no harm. Some of my black friends and family go every year.

There are some European countries that I would feel less comfortable to visit than America.

PermanentTemporary · 08/01/2026 10:39

We’ve decided to go elsewhere for a really big trip we’d planned for 2026 (a month).

Im not particularly concerned about safety, though I also wouldn’t look forward to the immigration process. But the reason I love the USA is because of its political history and culture, good and bad, which Trump and even more his cohorts are merrily trashing. I just don’t want to be there.

ScaredOfFlying · 08/01/2026 10:38

Dollyfloss · 08/01/2026 10:24

This. I’m going this year.

There’s always shit going on in the world. What exactly do you think is going to happen?

Put things in perspective.

Well, some people’s perspective is that there are many other countries more deserving of their tourism. That’s it. They don’t think anything bad will happen if they do go to the USA.