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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want to go to USA?

191 replies

DalekStarmer · 08/01/2026 09:05

DH and I used to go to the states every year on holiday. Different places each time - we loved it. This stopped during Covid when our holiday to Montana was cancelled. After Covid we planned to go back but ended up cancelling due to various things. Anyway, DH is keen to get back to our US trips and wanted to go last year. I said I didn’t fancy it due to Trump and the new hostile attitude towards foreigners. I said I’d consider it this year … now I’m even less in favour of it. It just doesn’t feel safe at all. DH is disappointed. AIBU?

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babylamb4 · 08/01/2026 23:23

I can’t wait to visit Las Vegas this year and have no worries at all. But then again I don’t need to be, I don’t froth at the mouth and spew bile over the internet about trump. And as safety goes, I’m from the uk and we are hardly a safe country so not sure why mn thinks we’re any better.

CarelessWimper · 08/01/2026 23:04

There are so many countries that I would rather give my money to than Trumps MAGA. I travel a lot and I am avoiding the USA for now. It’s hardly a selfless act as I have been going to lots of other lovely places.

There are more options than Italy or the USA.

Forgotmyshades · 08/01/2026 22:58

@WhatIsTheCharge- Thanks for sharing the Links. I've been at work but I'm going to take some time this evening to read them. Of course it's no ok. The only reports I've seen of this happening is as I said earlier is attention seeking " influencers' who's stories turn out to be utter bullshit which in light of the reports you've posted make those people even worse for making up these stories which cause scepticism when hearing actual real cases.

DeepBlueDeer · 08/01/2026 22:49

In addition to the myriad of other reasons I wouldn't want to go to the US, it seems quite possible that the new rules will require an extremely invasive amount of data, including biometrics (fingerprints, iris scans and DNA).

No thanks.

jeaux90 · 08/01/2026 22:38

FGS I’ve been in and out of the US several times the last few years. Been twice last year and going in again a couple of weeks for work. Its fine.

ThreeSixtyTwo · 08/01/2026 22:27

Are you Caucasian? It's sad but it definitely modified the personal risks now in the US.
Yes, the last woman murdered by ICE was white, but statistically a white person not mixing with demonstrations isn't in much bigger risk then before.

That said, Canada is beautiful

MirrorMirror1247 · 08/01/2026 22:27

I visited the US six months ago. I had no problems at all and felt very safe the whole time I was there. I was visiting east coast cities though, maybe it would be different in other parts. I booked it before Trump got re-elected, but even if I'd booked it afterwards, him being President wouldn't put me off.

lissie123 · 08/01/2026 22:23

We have family in the states and they claim “it’s wild here” since Trump became President

estrogone · 08/01/2026 22:19

5MinuteArgument · 08/01/2026 15:25

Italy has a right wing government led by Georgia Meloni's 'Brothers of Italy'. They are clamping down hard on illegal immigration.

Why do so many countries get a free pass while people fixate on the USA?

Erm.. because last I checked masked gunmen (aka ICE Agents) aren't shooting people in the face and forcibly separating families in Italy.

estrogone · 08/01/2026 22:16

I would rather eat snot than spend my money in the United States of Autocracy.

I don't give a flying fuck if people think this is performative. I will perform as loudly as possible, at every opportunity to protest the lunacy, that affects the whole world.

WhatIsTheCharge · 08/01/2026 17:03

Forgotmyshades · 08/01/2026 15:34

@WhatIsTheCharge- Where was this?. I e heard lots of social media's hype about this young women crying on Tick-tock that they almost got abducted in the Micheals parking lot. There is no actual evidence this ever happens and a few of them have actually faced charges for wasting police time because when you dig a little deeper its made up.

This is potentially outing me….but it’s Las Vegas 🤷🏻‍♀️
I promise you there’s an abundance of news articles from the local news about police stings where they’ve caught traffickers and rescued victims.
Most recent was in November during the F1 race week, over 100 arrests were made during that operation. Big events like that bring more tourists, tourists bring money for pimps…..buts it’s ok because it’s Las Vegas right? 🫠

LovesLabradors · 08/01/2026 16:30

I'd feel perfectly safe as a tourist.
My DS went to New York for 5 days just before Christmas, and my sister spent Xmas in California - no problems at all.
Trump is an idiot but it wouldn't stop me visiting.

dottiehens · 08/01/2026 16:30

I have got friends said to me they won’t come to the U.K. as worried about all the dangerous people that now live here. Being described as a time bomb. I tell you what I told them if you feel unsafe there is not point. Also, people need to be aware of cultural differences and local laws when travelling to other countries. The only countries I wouldn’t travel are in the Middle East.

Enjoy Sicily! Pretty sure the mafia is pretty much dismantled today. Isn’t it?

Friendlygingercat · 08/01/2026 16:20

I have to go over once a year but my employer arranges everything and flies me out business class. As I am disabled I have special assistance at the airport and a car and driver available for my visit. So no long queues for immigration. I take a different mobile and laptop which are only used for business so there are no personal calls or texts which might express risky opinions of the current government. I dont use the kind of social media which is likely to embarass me if strangers got hold of it.

TreeDudette · 08/01/2026 16:01

We were planning a New York trip for this year but won't now, I don't want to support Trump's mad regime. I'd do Canada though.

EstoyRobandoSuCasa · 08/01/2026 15:59

Sweetiedarling7 · 08/01/2026 11:48

100% agree. Everyone needs to cut off any source of income to the US they can be that large or small amounts.

Sadly, I think you're right. I feel sorry for the ordinary, decent Americans caught up in this, but until Trump's second term, I never imagined that the US would become a threat to Europe's long-term security.

EstoyRobandoSuCasa · 08/01/2026 15:49

YANBU. There are so many amazing places to visit in the world - why go to the same country year after year? I wouldn't want to give the Trump administration any of my tourist dollars, either.

Forgotmyshades · 08/01/2026 15:34

@WhatIsTheCharge- Where was this?. I e heard lots of social media's hype about this young women crying on Tick-tock that they almost got abducted in the Micheals parking lot. There is no actual evidence this ever happens and a few of them have actually faced charges for wasting police time because when you dig a little deeper its made up.

Beekman · 08/01/2026 15:31

YANBU- it’s your choice and I understand why you’re making it but the reality of going on holiday in the US is different to how you’re imagining it might be. I live in the US and as far as I know, nothing has changed. Yes, people who hold extreme views have been emboldened but you’re unlikely to encounter many of those on vacation. Americans love tourists.

Paperwhite209 · 08/01/2026 15:27

Because the USA is run by a crazy, orange megalomaniac who courts publicity, is contravening international law and human rights and invading other countries...and because their global position makes his antics much more
likely to affect the rest of the world?

5MinuteArgument · 08/01/2026 15:25

Paperwhite209 · 08/01/2026 11:25

Not UR at all.

I was planning to go in 2028 (Andy Warhol's centenary year!) but there is no way in hell I'd go with an election going on.

That aside I wouldn't visit at all with the current administration or anything related to them in power. It's not performative, I just wouldn't want to support their economy and can think of plenty of other places I'd like to visit.

@DalekStarmer Sicily is absolutely beautiful, I can highly recommend Taormina.

Italy has a right wing government led by Georgia Meloni's 'Brothers of Italy'. They are clamping down hard on illegal immigration.

Why do so many countries get a free pass while people fixate on the USA?

limegreenheart · 08/01/2026 15:18

Do you (1) WANT to go on this hypothetic future trip to the USA but you're afraid of being turned away on arrival, being detained for longer than is reasonable and/or in harsh conditions, or you or your husband being shot or otherwise intentionally injured or killed? Or (2) DEFINITELY NOT want to go to the USA this year, but feel bad about disappointing your husband who expected to go and still wants to go?

If it's 1, I'd be clear about both the real risks/downsides and your own fears (what is DIFFERENT this year?) so that you can evaluate whether they're sufficient to say you shouldn't go (what's the point of a holiday where you're worried/on edge all the time?) AND explain clearly to your husband if you decide it's a no. My sense (I'm in the USA) is that most of the things you might be worried about specifically now are statistically unlikely to impact you (and some you can eliminate altogether) but the real or perceived risk MAY still be too great for you, and that's OK. There's also the question of whether it's ethical to go; that's a personal decision but if it's important to you it's fine to act on it - believe me, there are many US citizens living in the USA who are actively trying to reduce overall participation in the US economy and/or minimise financial support of the federal government and its projects.

If it's 2 (or if it's 1 and you ultimately decide you can't go) I'd try to qualify/quantify what you both loved about your previous USA trips (keep in mind, there have been other changes since the start of COVID which are independent of and preceded the current administration) and brainstorm other possible trips.

If, say, it's the combo of diverse wild/adventurous places + local culture + big diverse cities + ease of getting around then you might try to replicate parts of the experience with someplace like Canada, Australia, New Zealand (more "familiar" feeling) but Chile and/or Argentina/Uruguay could also be a good bet, or Japan, or South Africa. (Obv some of these don't work if you want a really summery trip and need to go in northern hemisphere summer, but would still be very workable in their own right - and maybe nicer and more relaxed due to be less crowded and less expensive than high season). If the "big trip"/medium-to-long haul aspect isn't important, maybe Spain/Portugal, France, Norway (and beyond, if you want), or the Adriatic coast or Baltic coast (and nearby cities, if you want an urban element)?

If the USA is out for this year, find another place to focus on so you're planning a great, new, exciting trio, rather than trying to justify saying no to a trip that probably wouldn't be exactly what your husband (and you) hope for and remember.

Forgotmyshades · 08/01/2026 15:17

Some ways to stay safe in America. Don't enter illegally and don't put yourself in dangerous situations. I live in a very mixed community. No one is scared someone's coming to get them.

5MinuteArgument · 08/01/2026 15:09

DalekStarmer · 08/01/2026 09:12

We’ve been to various places in Italy since the USA trips stopped. I quite fancy trying Sicily this year

Italy has a right wing government led by Georgia Meloni's 'Brothers of Italy'. They have clamped down hard on illegal immigration.

By all means, don't go to the USA if you want to demonstrate your disdain for Trump. Just be aware that plenty of other countries are swinging hard right at the moment.

WhatIsTheCharge · 08/01/2026 14:59

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 08/01/2026 11:42

@WhatIsTheCharge

Where I lived is also a hot-bed for human trafficking (mostly for sex trade), and supermarket/store parking lots are a very popular hunting ground for traffickers. There’s a whole system/checklist that lone women of a certain age and mothers with children go through, particularly when returning to our cars with a shopping trolley full of stuff because that’s when traffickers are known to strike in that area

That’s horrific. Who is doing it?

It must be on the previous page where I explained this.

The short answer: Pimps.

Prostitution is legal in licensed establishments in my state, but illegal within the city limits of the city I was living in. Pimps still cater to tourists (and locals I suppose 🤷🏻‍♀️) who aren’t going to drive miles and miles out to the legal establishments, and they do that through having a steady stream of trafficked labour readily available to them.