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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

On the edge of quitting my job today.

63 replies

Sonolanona · 08/01/2026 07:57

I've worked in special ed for over 20 years.
Change of management means that we are thrown into different classes constantly (as never enough staff), which apart from being really bad for the children who need stability, means you never know where you will be, and as an older experienced TA I often get sent to the 'difficult' classes.
Thanks to years of managing challenging behaviour I now have a bad back.. lateral cervical stenosis to be accurate. I've adapted how I do things with my usual (early years) class.. I squat not bend to change pads, we hoist non mobile cildren etc..it's fine. BUT if my head is yanked back to the floor by a hair puller or I have to help with a large child who is attacking, I can't any more..and this is the class I keep being sent to.
In the holidays I emailed and politely requested that I wasn't put in a particular class where the risk of very challenging behaviour is very high.(and I did get a reply 'thanks for letting us know' Guess where they have put me today and tomorrow?
I'm already job hunting, but I think when I arrive in half an hour and they haven't changed it... I'm going home. It would be a sad end to a long career and I really don't want to be jobless (I can only work part time due to other caring duties) but I feel like they really do not give a toss as long as the numbers are covered :(
AIBU?

OP posts:
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Nantescalling · 18/04/2026 16:27

All the very best to you. Sounds like the very best thing to do. Life's too short as they say !

PurpleVine · 31/01/2026 15:36

good for you - very best of luck i hope all goes well.

Sonolanona · 31/01/2026 15:29

Just to update (as it bugs me when others don't :D ) I have decided to leave...and I finish next week.
I am at peace with my decision because I can clearly see that the place I have worked and loved for 20 years is simply no longer a place I want to be. I'll miss the kids and my colleagues but not the new management!
I am hoping to become self employed and am giving myself a year to try and get things off the ground, and if that fails I'll find something somehow.
I'd like to tell the Academy Trust exactly why I'm going but I might need a reference one day😆
I'm going to take a few weeks to rest and reset myself and then, onwards!

OP posts:
Autumnleaffall · 30/01/2026 20:00

Use your expertise to set up as a one to one private tutor either face to face or online

NotThisShitAgain121 · 11/01/2026 21:19

You needto speak with the person. In charge and ask them why they are ignoring your request.

Skybluepinky · 09/01/2026 16:07

Sounds like the management team are useless. Good luck.

welshmercury · 09/01/2026 14:01

Don’t resign. Utilise your sick pay first to recover and get your back looked at properly as they may say it’s an industrial injury which could mean that you can retire with ill health and get your pension early. But you need to get proper advice on this.

Wiseplumant · 09/01/2026 09:46

Horserider5678 · 08/01/2026 12:12

Absolutely the wrong answer! There are 4 million unemployed and 750,000 vacancies! It’s an employers market and walking out on a job would not be looked on favourably! An OH referral is the first step!

It's certainly not an employers market in the NHS! To be fair I don't know if education is the same.

herbalteabag · 09/01/2026 08:55

Bluedenimdoglover · 08/01/2026 17:11

A friend had the same problem. She left, went as a supply assistant. Seems to feel more valued by the agency who employ her.

Edited

I am a supply TA. I get a lot of work and can afford to be a bit picky, in that if I really don't like going somewhere I just decline it and get offered something else instead. If a certain amount of money isn't a major issue, it's less stressful, knowing that you're not committed to a contract and are basically in control. As a supply, they usually do not want you to do the most challenging jobs but I generally feel valued and get to know people still as I am asked back to the same schools a lot.

busymomtoone · 09/01/2026 08:34

This 100% rings bells from a special school I worked in years ago, and I’m sorry things have not improved. As others have said definitely do NOT give up your job. Knowing what I know now : 1. Email ( rather than verbal) trail explaining the difficulty/ potential worsening/ serious injury to your health 2. Go home if they put you in there today - they cannot prove you aren’t sick and you as a TA are not responsible for sorting out their staff shortages( even though no doubt you worry about the children) 3. Job hunt - TAs with your expertise are worth gold dust and agencies/ other schools will snap you up ( and yes you can still be part time). 4. If things don’t change get a union or governors involved plus a doctors note and use the ( all schools) free helpline for some legal advice as this treatment is tantamount to constructive dismissal, and they are breaking health and safety laws. Good luck.

Springtimehere · 09/01/2026 04:46

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Makingadecision · 09/01/2026 04:41

Second the OH referral. They have a duty of care to both you and the children. Ask for a risk assessment (see HSE website for more information). This is possibly an occupational injury which entitles you to more support. Don’t just leave.

canuckup · 09/01/2026 03:07

Could you do private contracts? Not sure it's an option

Nantescalling · 09/01/2026 03:00

Sonolanona · 08/01/2026 16:12

Well they did a fast about face and changed the cover... and stitched up another member of staff (whose unsuitability to be in that class is very well documented...) I felt awful about it, but I stuck to my guns and when she tried to do the same, got told 'tough there is no one else' so she felt obliged :(

That makes us sound like bunch of old wrecks... but what we are ,are staff who have been there such a long time and dealt with SO much over the years that we do now have damaged spines and necks. It's difficult to explain to people who don't work in schools that cater for severely challenging behaviour, but you are expected to suck up stuff that I don't think would be tolerated in most jobs (for example in my 'easy' class today I have still acquired one long scratch down my face and two more on my arms from a disregulated pupil). 20 years of it does a fair amount of damage, we are always short staffed and they won't put agency staff in those classes, even if they have been working at school a year, as they haven't had individual training.

I have never left a job without having another to go to, but I'm done. The changes in management have not benefitted the children at all, just created more paperwork , policies and pretty logos, and I think I am sad, burned out and just done.

I have been talking it over with dh (before today) and have decided to leave at half term. If I find something soon, great, if not we can manage without. I'm still caring for two grandchildren, one adult son with ASD and an increasingly dodgy mother... I won't get bored!

Please don't throw in the sponge after 20 years. This new team haven't a clue but that is good for your case. If you can - and you can - get professionals to vouch for you about your condition - right up to labelling it 'disability' then I really think you should give it a shot. Just walking away makes them the winners and if they get away with it with you, they'll carry on with someone else. You owe it to yourself to soldier on and I really hope you will???

madaboutpurple · 08/01/2026 23:15

I wonder have you considered private tutoring as you could I imagine work the hours that suit you. I see one person suggested being a supply TA. I would think supply TA's are much needed due to stress leave. To me it sounds like you need to change schools. I wish you all the best.

Jamesblonde2 · 08/01/2026 22:36

I wouldn’t do that job with a GOOD back. Surprised so many people are prepared to do it at all. Sounds like just being a punch bag. How much education are some of these children actually capable of?

FunCrab · 08/01/2026 20:45

Are you in a union? If so reach out to them.
Put a time line together of your issues.
Keep all documentation relating to your issues with the employer and make sure you have it safe as Union will want to see all communication and a timeline of events.

Have you had consultations with your GP re your health issues because it sounds like you have long term conditions that will come under the Equality Act.
If you have not then make an appointment so it is documented with them.

Ask for a referral to OH so you get a report from them on your health issues relevant to your job and they will request your manager does a risk assessment and from that put reasonable adjustments in place.
Your employer cannot refuse you a referral to OH.

It also seems to me there is a lack of safe systems of working.

If you are in a Union seek advice immediately from them.

Totallybannanas · 08/01/2026 20:41

Go sick and contact your union. Your health and mental wellbeing are more important. They need to do assessment. You have the stronger hand, they will not won't you to leave as they will lose an experienced staff member. Also I just want to say having worked in a special school for a year, I am awe of you all and the work you do. Honestly, I have the utmost respect it's one of the hardest jobs I have ever done.

OneBoldOchreCrow · 08/01/2026 20:10

Right my wonderful SEN warriors are we members of a union? Because Unison was researching its SEN staff members on their feeling and experiences around safety. Are there any Unison members on here?

Jetandianto · 08/01/2026 19:51

Talk to your trade union and to HR in the local authority or academy chain or whatever the managing organisation is.

Omgblueskys · 08/01/2026 19:05

Op you need to re send email but cc OH, team lead, supervisor, and manager, add this episode too,
They have a duty of care op to you,
Risk assessment,
OH meeting,

I am a retired TA, for nhs, we had all above and one followed the other, can only stress you need a paper trail with all above cc in,
And if needs be get signed off sick until someone starts acting on your behalf,

Remember, duty of care , to you op,

Justontherightsideofnormal · 08/01/2026 18:28

@Sonolanona do you have a risk assessment? I work in SEN school and many staff have risk assessments for many reasons and cannot work in certain classes due to their risk assessments. If you don’t is this something your employer offers

Daygloboo · 08/01/2026 18:26

Sonolanona · 08/01/2026 07:57

I've worked in special ed for over 20 years.
Change of management means that we are thrown into different classes constantly (as never enough staff), which apart from being really bad for the children who need stability, means you never know where you will be, and as an older experienced TA I often get sent to the 'difficult' classes.
Thanks to years of managing challenging behaviour I now have a bad back.. lateral cervical stenosis to be accurate. I've adapted how I do things with my usual (early years) class.. I squat not bend to change pads, we hoist non mobile cildren etc..it's fine. BUT if my head is yanked back to the floor by a hair puller or I have to help with a large child who is attacking, I can't any more..and this is the class I keep being sent to.
In the holidays I emailed and politely requested that I wasn't put in a particular class where the risk of very challenging behaviour is very high.(and I did get a reply 'thanks for letting us know' Guess where they have put me today and tomorrow?
I'm already job hunting, but I think when I arrive in half an hour and they haven't changed it... I'm going home. It would be a sad end to a long career and I really don't want to be jobless (I can only work part time due to other caring duties) but I feel like they really do not give a toss as long as the numbers are covered :(
AIBU?

I thought reasonable adjustments had to be made at work for ppl with physical problems

bangalanguk · 08/01/2026 17:26

You should have a risk assessment in place if you have a medical condition that can be worsened by the physical contact. Are you a member of a union? I wouldn't blame you at all for walking out because the management sounds very poor.

Bluedenimdoglover · 08/01/2026 17:11

A friend had the same problem. She left, went as a supply assistant. Seems to feel more valued by the agency who employ her.

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