Here's to new beginnings!

55 replies

Oricolt · 08/01/2026 07:24

6 weeks before Christmas, my husband dropped the bombshell that he was having an affair, had drained our savings over the past 4 years, and was leaving us. 'Us' is me and our three kids. We had been together for 30 years.

I just found the Christmas card MiL sent me this year wishing me a "Merry Christmas and all the best for 2026: Here's to new beginnings!!"

What new beginnings? I can see how my fuckfaced husband is having a lovely new beginning with his new flat and his girlfriend. I am still here in our family home (which I can no longer afford), still feeding the cat, still booking orthodontist appointments, still putting the bins out on Mondays, still reminding the kids to take a break from Minecraft and do their homework, and put their clothes in the basket. Only now, I have no help at all and much less money available because of that arsewipe's financial deception. Maybe by "new beginnings" she meant my exciting new journey into having no one to ask when my check engine light comes on? Fun!

Of all the shit that has happened recently, I don't know why I'm fixating on a well-intentioned Christmas card, but it pissed me right off and I'm writing this to get it out of my system.

OP posts:

Original poster

Oricolt · 08/01/2026 19:04

Yes, I think she meant to be supportive. And I suspect she doesn't actually know the facts. It's so frustrating and unfinished. These people were my family for decades. They were a part of the birth of my children. They celebrated my successes with me. They were family. And now ex-h gets to unilaterally decide I'm not in the family anymore, gets to tell them "his version" of his selfish lies, and I never even get to give my version. I get it, that's how it works. I just feel sad that I've lost them too, and they probably even think badly of me. I genuinely did nothing wrong. My crime was to put up with a slightly dull marriage for the sake of the kids. I thought that's what he was doing too, but no - he was having an exciting affair and siphoning off all the family funds to start a new life in which he puts himself first, and muggins here is left to limp on, broken and bruised, putting on a cheerful face for the kids. It will get better, I know. But "new beginnings!!" really punched me in the gut.

OP posts:

Observed · 08/01/2026 14:45

What a lovely kind post @Catza

Catza · 08/01/2026 10:14

Maybe by "new beginnings" she meant my exciting new journey into having no one to ask when my check engine light comes on?

This is the first trouble I ran into after my ex buggered off with a younger woman in summer. May I suggest a RAC membership? My engine warning sign came on and I was about three minutes away from my ex's house. I had a cry, decided I'd rather chop my hand off than ring him for help. Rang RAC, a lovely man on the other end of the line gave me the best therapy session of my life! Told me not to worry and that everything is going to be OK, looked up the nearest garage for me, talked to me with so much kindness that I wanted to marry him there and then.

And ignore your MIL. She was probably trying to be supportive in the most awkward way.

Alittlefrustrated · 08/01/2026 07:39

Yes, it was thoughtless of her. However, might she turn out to be a source of support with the children? I hope so.
So sorry you and the children are going through this. Be honest with people about his deception - he doesn't deserve being shielded.
Don't be too proud to accept any positive sources of support.
You can do this.

shouldofgotamortage · 08/01/2026 07:29

I wouldn’t have anything more to do with her. Kids can see her in your exs time.

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