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AIBU?

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To think DH shouldn't have rearranged nursery furniture

33 replies

dodomin · 08/01/2026 07:22

I would love everyone to tell me I'm overthinking this.
I have an almost 3 year old DD and am scheduled in for a C section later today for our second baby. All the advice I have received is to keep things as consistent and ordinary as possible for our toddler. DD is staying with my parents as of last night while I will be in hospital. DH wanted to do something nice and has decided to rearrange the nursery furniture in the middle of the night. This room is DD's - her wardrobe and toys are in there. She co-sleeps with us in our main bedroom but she does have a toddler bed in the nursery which she doesn't use. Going forward when baby arrives, the plan was for me and baby to initially sleep in the nursery (next to me is in there as well as a daybed) while DH is with DD in main bedroom. I won't be able to co-sleep for a while because of the C-section.

Anyway, now DH has rearranged all the furniture in the room - do you think it will be a massive shock to her system when she comes home from grandparents? My DM is saying perhaps they should come to the house with DD before baby arrives to show her that it's all been made pretty for her?

Part of my stress comes from how DD has recently developed a stammer. It coincides with the birth of her cousin 3 months ago and also having recently started nursery - I've been a SAHM and so she is particularly attached to me and it seems like all the changes have made her a bit anxious. She is very close to her grandparents and was the only grandchild up until now and for lack of a better way to say it, has very much been everyone's PFB... And so I feel like.change is hitting her hard.

Is the reorganising of a few bits of furniture (just existing furniture has been moved around rather than taking any of her things out) going to be very terrible?

TY in advance. I have to leave the house in literally an hour for the section and so will get DH to put it back if he can before that.

Edit to add: we don't have a huge house. It is a 3 bed and the third room is a box room being used as storage so almost feels like a 2 bed really.

OP posts:
Bitzee · 08/01/2026 07:30

But haven’t you guys already agreed that it won’t be DD’s room any more and that it will be you and the baby in there from now on?? I don’t she’ll be bothered at all if she never sleeps in there but if she was going to get upset surely it would be because her room has been given to the new baby, not at a small furniture rearrange. DH probably should have checked with you that the new arrangements works for you, since you’ll be the one using the room, but that’s a minor thing really and sounds like he was just trying to be practical. I don’t think he’s done anything massively wrong, certainly not towards your 3YO.

ohidoliketobe · 08/01/2026 07:30

I dont like the rearrangement will be an issue. The stammer is very normal in language development, they go through a massive language explosion around this age and lots of children develop a temporary one as their head is going faster than they can keep up with. Monitor it and speak to health visitor if you are worried, but don't make a fuss about it, or talk over her, or correct her, and give her time to say what she is trying to a d it will likely taper out.

Boredoflunch1 · 08/01/2026 07:27

FanofLeaves · 08/01/2026 07:27

You need to focus on your c section, you’re worrying far too much. It will be fine. It’s furniture.

A stammer can be a very normal developmental stage as they have more words in their head than they’re able to get out into their speech. DS’s lasted a few months but at four there’s zero trace of it.

I think you need to trust that your first child is probably far more resilient than you might think. And they’re about to be a big sister! Try and focus on yourself today- you’re about to meet your new baby! DD is looked after. She’s fine. It’s furniture. You’re over-worrying.

Edited

This!

FanofLeaves · 08/01/2026 07:27

You need to focus on your c section, you’re worrying far too much. It will be fine. It’s furniture.

A stammer can be a very normal developmental stage as they have more words in their head than they’re able to get out into their speech. DS’s lasted a few months but at four there’s zero trace of it.

I think you need to trust that your first child is probably far more resilient than you might think. And they’re about to be a big sister! Try and focus on yourself today- you’re about to meet your new baby! DD is looked after. She’s fine. It’s furniture. You’re over-worrying.

Slothey · 08/01/2026 07:26

Honestly, chill. It seems a slightly strange thing to have done but I really doubt your 3yo will particularly care.

The big change will be the fact that the baby (!) will be in the room, not where the furniture is.

Every older sibling has a shock when the little one arrives. It’s totally natural to worry about it, but you’re over thinking the furniture thing.

monkeysox · 08/01/2026 07:26

What a waste of time this close to baby.
Toddler doesn't sleep in there anyway

ShesTheAlbatross · 08/01/2026 07:26

No I don’t think this will be a problem.

LimeSnail · 08/01/2026 07:24

Good luck with the section. Furniture will be the least of the changes. It will be disruptive for your daughter but she’s getting a new sibling to love hopefully.