The final straw…

He doesn’t sound happy though
and because he’s not happy, he’s not caring, which is what you’re craving.
So really… this is just going to limp on and your younger sons will pick up on your unhappiness as your eldest did.

OP it is time to accept that your relationship has run its course.

Your husband is showing you he has no interest in being supportive of you and he does not care if your son is upset.

Remove that waste of space from your life and you and your son will be much happier.

Are you an independent equal in the marriage? Do you have a career / job and friends you can be honest and open with? If not try to build these things into your life slowly and you will feel more secure and empowered. It's going to be important for your son that you are a strong role model for him so that he will understand how to be independent and how to cope with adversity. It's great that you are seeking support through therapy if you can go solo after the first session I think you will start to feel stronger and less dependant. Your husband may be more respectful if he sees you as an equal rather than a dependent.

Good idea

Although sadly I suspect your husband will be overjoyed he’s dodged this.

Oh come on OP, this poster is completely correct. You can't have your DH listening in to a therapy session, especially when he's the main reason you're there. That would be absolutely bonkers and no therapist would allow it.

He's dismissive of your feelings and thinks you're just being a silly, emotional woman. Not sure why you're suddenly defending him...

When we got back home, I phoned my husband, only for him to claim that this issue is something I've caused myself and that he is 'not trying to hear it.'

Not the most involved father is he!

OP several people have pointed out that it is not ideal to have a 3rd person sitting in on one-to-one therapy.

In agreeing to come along to your individual therapy whilst refusing to attend couples therapy, it is possible that your husband is trying to support you.

But it could also be that he considers the problem to be YOU and that he wants the therapist to fix YOU. It sounds defensive and I think that is what people are picking up on here.

My point is that your husband's position requires further examination.

He appears to be saying "There's nothing wrong with me - it's her"

My son would have picked up on this at the same as well, very emotionally in tune with people and kids just know !

I think it is strange to take someone in to therapy that they aren't involved with. I think it will inhibit the exploration process.

How has your son been recently?

You need to update the therapist.

Very likely she will not be happy with him just as a silence presence listening in

@inthecornersofmymind There’s absolutely no need to be rude to @Rhaidimiddim - their post is actually quite supportive (and insightful) so you really shouldn’t be so snarky in return. There’s no point asking for advice if you bite the head off people for taking a view you find unpalatable.

I am very surprised the therapist is willing to go ahead with this, and I suspect that the white first session will be about why he’s there

In the future, I believe you should consider your words before typing, as you come across as quite …..
Look in the mirror OP. You have come across as very prickly and closed to everything even though people are trying to help.

Agree with pp, the gap between your two sentences is absolutely massive and in reality only a damn good therapist can unravel.
This relationship is taking a toll on me, and I just can't handle it anymore.
At no point did I say that I am unhappy in my relationship.

Please don't take your husband to therapy. There is no benefit to him coming and it could prevent you from saying things you might not want him to hear.

You have to give it more than one session.

And your husband definitely coming with? Does the therapist know that he intends to sit in the background just listening?

That poster was supporting you and you have got very cross and jumped on her.