Page 5 | To be fed up of bossy two year old

beingbossedabout · 2026-01-07T18:15:11+00:00

Will probably regret starting this thread as toddler threads here often go mental but my two year olds bossy behaviour is really getting on my nerves. It started with just being ordered to ‘sit there mummy’ and it’s evolved to dragging me around, taking a finger and pulling me, trying to shove me down on the sofa if I need to get up, and getting very irate when I don’t do as I am told, it’s tedious as hell. When does it end?

tripleginandtonic · 07/01/2026 19:59

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takealettermsjones · 07/01/2026 19:57

But yes, you are right, they are bossy tyrants!

takealettermsjones · 07/01/2026 19:57

My answer would depend on whether I wanted to do the thing or not.

If I wanted to do it: "oops, I can't hear you, try again with your manners and see if I can hear then!" (Or similar)

If I didn't want to do it: "no thank you!" or "please stop, I don't like that." (I try to model polite ways of saying no/get off me, useful for them at nursery/school!)

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 07/01/2026 19:56

user1496146479 · 07/01/2026 19:41

Can’t relate to this! You just need to set boundaries. I’ve seen the other end & it’s not as cute etc when they are older.

Hilarious! I also thought I was a perfect parent when DD1 was 2. I just instilled boundaries and it worked! [insert smug face]

DD2 was gifted to me to humble me. She still tries to be a tiny dictator and she’s 5. She’s never allowed to boss us about and we are firm and consistent with boundaries but she is a very different child to DD1! Far less compliant but she is getting better as she matures and understands more! Much more likely to be CEO one day than my beautiful inside and out but somewhat passive DD1!

LoreleiLamb · 07/01/2026 19:54

Keepgettingolder81 · 07/01/2026 19:54

Wait till she is a teenager, you will essentially be a slave

Exactly - well said

WirelessInternet · 07/01/2026 19:54

Honestly, it ends when you stop enabling it. It sounds harsh but it’s not and you’re probably not doing it on purpose. Children need boundaries and parents are the ones who need to take charge and set them.

Keepgettingolder81 · 07/01/2026 19:54

Wait till she is a teenager, you will essentially be a slave

LoreleiLamb · 07/01/2026 19:53

beingbossedabout · 07/01/2026 19:51

She’s still a darned sight nicer than you are.

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You think ?

Original poster

beingbossedabout · 07/01/2026 19:52

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 07/01/2026 19:51

I would also go the 'I'll do that in a minute, I'm just doing/sitting here/eating this/watching this first' route. Just a quick plea not to tell her that she's being bossy. It used to be my mum's favourite phrase to say to me 'don't be so bossy'. It would enrage me completely because I WASN'T being bossy - not in my head anyway!

I doubt she’d fully understand anyway. She does have to be told, although I am saying not now so much I keep wanting to add ‘Bernard’ after it, for those who know the book.

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Original poster

beingbossedabout · 07/01/2026 19:51

LoreleiLamb · 07/01/2026 19:49

lol. Spoiled little madams your fault

She’s still a darned sight nicer than you are.

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Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 07/01/2026 19:51

I would also go the 'I'll do that in a minute, I'm just doing/sitting here/eating this/watching this first' route. Just a quick plea not to tell her that she's being bossy. It used to be my mum's favourite phrase to say to me 'don't be so bossy'. It would enrage me completely because I WASN'T being bossy - not in my head anyway!

Original poster

beingbossedabout · 07/01/2026 19:50

CandlelitKitchen · 07/01/2026 19:45

Perhaps. She will learn not to command you around though won't she?

I don’t think you understand toddlers very well, and this is what I mean about MN threads about toddlers going weird.

If you have a six month old baby, and carry them everywhere or use a pushchair / carrier, will they ‘never learn to walk because you’re enabling them?’ That would be really stupid, right? They start walking when they developmentally can.

Obviously we need to encourage good manners and good behaviour but the dictator stage is very normal, as tedious as it is to be living in Franco’s Spain just at the moment.

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LoreleiLamb · 07/01/2026 19:49

lol. Spoiled little madams your fault

CandlelitKitchen · 07/01/2026 19:48

beingbossedabout · 07/01/2026 19:44

It really doesn’t work like that. Think about the most caring, loving and selfless person you know; you think they got like that because their mother refused to sit where she was told when they were two?

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Sorry, I should have been more specific. I didn't mean that it would turn her into "the most caring, loving and selfless person", I meant it would teach her to care that you have your own needs and desires and cannot be commanded or dragged around all the time, against your will.

Cathmawr · 07/01/2026 19:47

My DD2 is a future dictator also. I find it incredibly funny and draining in equal measure. I like to compromise like you said, mammy will do that in 2 minutes, when you've put your shoes on I will do X etc.

It seems to be improving slightly over the past couple of months! 🤞 Except now sometimes when I ask her to do something she says 'I'll do that in 2 minutes mama' and carries on with her thing 🤣

Cadenza12 · 07/01/2026 19:47

Do you actually do as you are told?

CandlelitKitchen · 07/01/2026 19:45

Perhaps. She will learn not to command you around though won't she?

Original poster

beingbossedabout · 07/01/2026 19:44

CandlelitKitchen · 07/01/2026 19:42

If you push back consistently this is how she will learn to care.

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It really doesn’t work like that. Think about the most caring, loving and selfless person you know; you think they got like that because their mother refused to sit where she was told when they were two?

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Original poster

beingbossedabout · 07/01/2026 19:43

MapleOakPine · 07/01/2026 19:38

This is really normal toddler behaviour but also really annoying!

Really annoying 😂

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CandlelitKitchen · 07/01/2026 19:42

beingbossedabout · 07/01/2026 19:37

I’m sure she will and she is told to wait, no, mummy doesn’t want to do that and so on, but ultimately at the moment she doesn’t care what I want.

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If you push back consistently this is how she will learn to care.

user1496146479 · 07/01/2026 19:41

Can’t relate to this! You just need to set boundaries. I’ve seen the other end & it’s not as cute etc when they are older.

Garroty · 07/01/2026 19:39

Antaes · 07/01/2026 19:22

Just tell her off then! She needs to understand she can't keep ordering you around

There's no good telling off a two year old for developmentally normal behaviour. Of course OP can set limits and say no (and nowhere in her post does it suggest she doesn't) but telling her off is wrongheaded.

MapleOakPine · 07/01/2026 19:38

This is really normal toddler behaviour but also really annoying!

Original poster

beingbossedabout · 07/01/2026 19:37

Antaes · 07/01/2026 19:22

Just tell her off then! She needs to understand she can't keep ordering you around

I’m sure she will and she is told to wait, no, mummy doesn’t want to do that and so on, but ultimately at the moment she doesn’t care what I want.

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YourZippyHare · 07/01/2026 19:37

Haha, I feel this. My youngest daughter is 2 and a half. She's a little tyrant. Gorgeous, but a tyrant. As I write this, I can hear her bossing my husband around.