Page 3 | To be fed up of bossy two year old

beingbossedabout · 2026-01-07T18:15:11+00:00

Will probably regret starting this thread as toddler threads here often go mental but my two year olds bossy behaviour is really getting on my nerves. It started with just being ordered to ‘sit there mummy’ and it’s evolved to dragging me around, taking a finger and pulling me, trying to shove me down on the sofa if I need to get up, and getting very irate when I don’t do as I am told, it’s tedious as hell. When does it end?

Screamingabdabz · 07/01/2026 21:22

Garroty · 07/01/2026 20:45

What you describe here - respectfully saying no - is not a 'telling off'. Perhaps you misspoke in your first post.

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No. I didn’t ‘misspeak’.

‘Respectfully saying no’ can be modulated according to age, context and misdemeanour from serious face sing-songy when they’re two, stern words and tone when they’re older to full bollocking when they come in unexpectedly drunk at 16 on cheap cider and puke on the carpet.

It’s all ‘telling off’ to your child. It lets them know you’re in charge and you’ll not put up with nonsense.

There is no magical ‘developmental’ milestone when you can start. It’s all about setting expectations and communicating disapproval in the most effective age-appropriate way along the road.

nomas · 07/01/2026 21:21

CandlelitKitchen · 07/01/2026 21:19

The apple hasn't fallen far from the tree.

Exactly what I was thinking.

nomas · 07/01/2026 21:20

beingbossedabout · 07/01/2026 20:15

It ends when she comes out of this stage. It makes no difference how much I pompously inform her ‘dd I decline to sit there at the moment as your matriarch is a fellow human with needs also’, or (as I have been doing) cheerily say I need the toilet, have a drink or whatever, and in today’s shocking news sometimes I will sit there because why not?

Choices has never worked here; it’s good for others though 👍🏻

She is not an only child; she is the only girl though which may or may not be relevant. don’t remember my others being this bossy.

At least I have been proved right that toddler threads on MN are bananas.

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What is even the point of this thread? You clearly are not interested in other people’s views.

CandlelitKitchen · 07/01/2026 21:19

The apple hasn't fallen far from the tree.

Maraudingmarauders · 07/01/2026 21:15

My two old is an absolute dictator. Sometimes we step in and redirect/refuse if it’s getting too much, and we don’t obey if it’s not convenient but despite a lot of people in here who say following is teaching them to be rude and demanding, I see it as a positive. He’s learning that his words have impact, and that he can affect the world around him: why would I want to quash that? I want him to be bold and confident. Yes I am teaching him to be polite and as he grows we will teach him how to shape and mold those demands/requests. But for now I’m happy to follow some of his demands to show he has a place in the world and can directly affect it.

CandlelitKitchen · 07/01/2026 21:15

beingbossedabout · 07/01/2026 21:12

It isn’t my book - I haven’t even read it. I only mentioned it in passing

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I meant the book you mentioned not one you've written.

Good luck with it all.

80smonster · 07/01/2026 21:12

I think they go off you about age 13, so then. Our DD, now 8, was just like this and still is tbh. One of life’s narrators, could honestly host a talk time radio show. Exhausting.

Original poster

beingbossedabout · 07/01/2026 21:12

CandlelitKitchen · 07/01/2026 21:09

OP's didn't want help or any input or suggestions from people with other ideas, she wanted confirmation that her book 'Toddlers are arseholes' was correct and to repeatedly point out that 'Toddler threads on here go weird".

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It isn’t my book - I haven’t even read it. I only mentioned it in passing

OP posts:

sprigatito · 07/01/2026 21:12

Oh OP, you’ve upset the MN Aunties now 😳 you are supposed to lap up their pearls of wisdom with humility and gratitude, not push back on patronising and pointless advice.

gamerchick · 07/01/2026 21:11

Heh my grandbaby does this. Leads me by a finger and if I don't obey I get half a helicopter strop on the floor. I'm aiming for a whole helicopter

What I will say having had 3 ND kids who were very challenging when young. Spending time with an obvious NT toddler is the best experience. Watching the blossom into their own person. Amazing.

petiteoeuf · 07/01/2026 21:11

petiteoeuf · 07/01/2026 21:03

my 25 month old has just started displaying my these tendencies and I’m terrified 😂😂😂

lol I meant 15 months but can’t edit 🥲

petiteoeuf · 07/01/2026 21:09

beingbossedabout · 07/01/2026 21:04

She’s mostly delightful. Two is a tricky age though, even if MN toddlers are quelled by a stern look and a ‘no.’

A lot of it is just wanting to be with you.

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yes and that is so far keeping it quite cute! Although today “wanting to be with me” involved insisting on trying to put my trainers on me while I was trying to pee and getting frustrated when he couldn’t work it out 😂. The novelty of seeing him become more and more aware of things is still adorable to me, but the thought of this being the beginning of years is funny and scary at the same time!

CandlelitKitchen · 07/01/2026 21:09

Moonnstarz · 07/01/2026 20:32

But it is also confusing that you posted saying my two year olds bossy behaviour is really getting on my nerves and when people have said about ways to manage it, you have then said you don't mind doing it and even answered your own question of when will it end in another post by saying it will end when this stage ends, so maybe this wasn't an AIBU post and maybe just a chat instead looking for empathy/any one that can relate.

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OP's didn't want help or any input or suggestions from people with other ideas, she wanted confirmation that her book 'Toddlers are arseholes' was correct and to repeatedly point out that 'Toddler threads on here go weird".

MsCactus · 07/01/2026 21:08

beingbossedabout · 07/01/2026 21:02

You can just say "no" if you don't want to do something she wants.

Revolutionary.

Well, this "it’s evolved to dragging me around, taking a finger and pulling me, trying to shove me down on the sofa" implies that you haven't firmly told her no and are just going along with her demands. So you need the obvious advice.

Original poster

beingbossedabout · 07/01/2026 21:04

petiteoeuf · 07/01/2026 21:03

my 25 month old has just started displaying my these tendencies and I’m terrified 😂😂😂

She’s mostly delightful. Two is a tricky age though, even if MN toddlers are quelled by a stern look and a ‘no.’

A lot of it is just wanting to be with you.

OP posts:

petiteoeuf · 07/01/2026 21:03

my 25 month old has just started displaying my these tendencies and I’m terrified 😂😂😂

Original poster

beingbossedabout · 07/01/2026 21:02

You can just say "no" if you don't want to do something she wants.

Revolutionary.

OP posts:

Original poster

beingbossedabout · 07/01/2026 21:02

AngelinaFibres · 07/01/2026 20:47

So why are you posting if its a normal phase and she'll come out of it. There are plenty of people on here telling you it is not necessary. You clearly know best so crack on.

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Why do people post anything? A bit of humour, solidarity, fun.

I wonder what would happen now if the cutted up pear was posted,

OP posts:

MsCactus · 07/01/2026 21:00

beingbossedabout · 07/01/2026 19:50

I don’t think you understand toddlers very well, and this is what I mean about MN threads about toddlers going weird.

If you have a six month old baby, and carry them everywhere or use a pushchair / carrier, will they ‘never learn to walk because you’re enabling them?’ That would be really stupid, right? They start walking when they developmentally can.

Obviously we need to encourage good manners and good behaviour but the dictator stage is very normal, as tedious as it is to be living in Franco’s Spain just at the moment.

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My DD was a bossy thing at two too.

I just said "no I'm not doing that" whenever I didn't fancy it. She soon learnt her dad is a lot more weak willed and reserved her bossiest requests for him.

Anyway, she's a delightful three year old now. Super sweet and friendly and caring.

You can just say "no" if you don't want to do something she wants.

suburburban · 07/01/2026 20:47

Screamingabdabz · 07/01/2026 20:41

If she’s got enough language ability to assert herself and boss her mother about, she’s got the capacity hear some stern words in low level age-appropriate way. “No Maisie, mummy has to do something else now, you’ll have to play with teddy now instead….” (Said with serious face and ignore wingeing or foot stomping).

Yes, the child is acting within ‘developmentally normal’ behaviour, but all children’s cheeky boundary pushing is. When do you start with discipline? When they’re 5? 10? 15? 25?

This weird hipster advice that children are too young to understand simple parental disapproval is what is actually ‘wrongheaded’ and so harmful when you see the statistics about child mental health. Children need calm loving adults to be in charge, and being in charge means the odd low-stakes telling off when children overstep or become unruly. It’s actually good parenting.

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Yes

AngelinaFibres · 07/01/2026 20:47

beingbossedabout · 07/01/2026 20:15

It ends when she comes out of this stage. It makes no difference how much I pompously inform her ‘dd I decline to sit there at the moment as your matriarch is a fellow human with needs also’, or (as I have been doing) cheerily say I need the toilet, have a drink or whatever, and in today’s shocking news sometimes I will sit there because why not?

Choices has never worked here; it’s good for others though 👍🏻

She is not an only child; she is the only girl though which may or may not be relevant. don’t remember my others being this bossy.

At least I have been proved right that toddler threads on MN are bananas.

Show quote history

So why are you posting if its a normal phase and she'll come out of it. There are plenty of people on here telling you it is not necessary. You clearly know best so crack on.

Garroty · 07/01/2026 20:45

Screamingabdabz · 07/01/2026 20:41

If she’s got enough language ability to assert herself and boss her mother about, she’s got the capacity hear some stern words in low level age-appropriate way. “No Maisie, mummy has to do something else now, you’ll have to play with teddy now instead….” (Said with serious face and ignore wingeing or foot stomping).

Yes, the child is acting within ‘developmentally normal’ behaviour, but all children’s cheeky boundary pushing is. When do you start with discipline? When they’re 5? 10? 15? 25?

This weird hipster advice that children are too young to understand simple parental disapproval is what is actually ‘wrongheaded’ and so harmful when you see the statistics about child mental health. Children need calm loving adults to be in charge, and being in charge means the odd low-stakes telling off when children overstep or become unruly. It’s actually good parenting.

Show quote history

What you describe here - respectfully saying no - is not a 'telling off'. Perhaps you misspoke in your first post.

Original poster

beingbossedabout · 07/01/2026 20:44

Moonnstarz · 07/01/2026 20:32

But it is also confusing that you posted saying my two year olds bossy behaviour is really getting on my nerves and when people have said about ways to manage it, you have then said you don't mind doing it and even answered your own question of when will it end in another post by saying it will end when this stage ends, so maybe this wasn't an AIBU post and maybe just a chat instead looking for empathy/any one that can relate.

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I know how to manage it. I’m not seeking advice and I certainly don’t need MN making inferences about my parenting or about my child.

OP posts:

JemimaTiggywinkles · 07/01/2026 20:44

She is displaying developmentally normal behaviour. Like teenagers who take stupid risks. That’s why you need to parent your children rather than leaving them to develop without guidance.

It really isn’t MN being weird to suggest toddlers are capable of understanding rules and boundaries. They won’t understand everything but she absolutely can learn it isn’t acceptable to harass people into doing what she wants.

ThunderFog · 07/01/2026 20:42

beingbossedabout · 07/01/2026 19:52

I doubt she’d fully understand anyway. She does have to be told, although I am saying not now so much I keep wanting to add ‘Bernard’ after it, for those who know the book.

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Oh bless you! That book made me cry. I don't think Bernard was bossy though, it was about negligent parents.
My kid was bossy as a 2yo and I found other parents exasperating. Luckily DD's childminder confirmed that DD was particularly stubborn.
It took a lot of patience. Phrases I used included "I'm me and you're you"; "We will do that when you have finished your dinner/put your toys away/ changed into dayclothes"; and "I love you is spelt en- o". It was utterly exhausting holding the boundaries and I had to pick my battles.