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AIBU?

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Original poster

Dh has a drink every night. I don’t think it’s ok. AIBU?

169 replies

Toomuchboooze · 07/01/2026 17:42

DH is having a tough time at work at the moment. And, every day, he either has a can of beer or a glass of wine with dinner. He would have a gin and tonic but he drank it all. He will literally drink whatever we have.

He gets very defensive if I talk about it, and I think minimises it.

But it’s every night now and one can or one glass of wine.

I’m not talking to him about it again as it just makes us argue or he gets defensive and I hate arguing.

But AIBU that it’s too much? Or is that fine? He’s in his early 50s.

OP posts:
Original poster
Toomuchboooze · 07/01/2026 18:02

Redwinedaze · 07/01/2026 18:00

What’s sleep hygiene?

One glass doesn’t seem a problem.

Staring at his phone until his eyes close in bed and then picking it up when his eyes open in the morning and through the night! Not getting exercise etc etc.

OP posts:
MrsDoubtingMyself · 07/01/2026 18:01

Minjou · 07/01/2026 17:53

Is it defensiveness? Or is it that he's pissed off at OP for banging on about a single glass of wine a night, which is perfectly reasonable and normal?

Show quote history

I dont think a small glass of wine every night is normal. I don't think zero exercise is normal.

Redwinedaze · 07/01/2026 18:00

What’s sleep hygiene?

One glass doesn’t seem a problem.

Minjou · 07/01/2026 17:53

MrsDoubtingMyself · 07/01/2026 17:51

125 ml of wine a night is within the limits. But is that what he's having? His defensiveness is very telling. And his lifestyle sounds incredibly unhealthy.

Is it defensiveness? Or is it that he's pissed off at OP for banging on about a single glass of wine a night, which is perfectly reasonable and normal?

ShawnaMacallister · 07/01/2026 17:53

One drink?? It's fine. Stop being so controlling.

Growlybear83 · 07/01/2026 17:53

I assumed you were going to say he was drinking a lot, but one glass of wine or can of beer is not inf to worry about! I think you’re being very unreasonable.

itsthetea · 07/01/2026 17:51

One a night isn’t a huge amount although ideally one or two days without would be better

the poor sleeping is more likely a result of work stress and lack of exercise

rather than focus on the alcohol - what needs to change to help him live a better life? Can he afford to change jobs? Do you work - can you fund bills from your wage? What other help can you give him ?

MrsDoubtingMyself · 07/01/2026 17:51

125 ml of wine a night is within the limits. But is that what he's having? His defensiveness is very telling. And his lifestyle sounds incredibly unhealthy.

worrisomeasset · 07/01/2026 17:50

Toomuchboooze · 07/01/2026 17:48

He also complains about his disturbed and poor sleep endlessly and I’m sure this contributes! But i don’t say that because he’ll get defensive.

He has terrible sleep hygiene, doesn’t exercise, has no real social life outside of our family, and is stressed at work. It all just seems so unhealthy.

In that case, I’d say his one drink a night is the very least of his problems.

IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour · 07/01/2026 17:49

One drink a night isn’t much of a problem.

TheCurious0range · 07/01/2026 17:49

One beer or glass of wine with dinner is not a problem!

InterestedDad37 · 07/01/2026 17:49

If he can't do without it, it's a psychological issue (with the possibility of escalation). If he can take it or leave it, it's not a problem, but (even though it's a small amount) he should have some alc-free days.
Are you certain he's not sneaking some more on the side?

ConnieHeart · 07/01/2026 17:49

If he has to have a drink every single night then yes it is a problem

havingoneofthosedays · 07/01/2026 17:48

Very very controlling

Original poster
Toomuchboooze · 07/01/2026 17:48

He also complains about his disturbed and poor sleep endlessly and I’m sure this contributes! But i don’t say that because he’ll get defensive.

He has terrible sleep hygiene, doesn’t exercise, has no real social life outside of our family, and is stressed at work. It all just seems so unhealthy.

OP posts:
worrisomeasset · 07/01/2026 17:48

One glass of beer or one glass of wine each night is next to nothing. He’s within the weekly recommended limits, unless he’s drinking from a massive wine glass.

PunnyUmberViewer · 07/01/2026 17:46

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Nincompoo · 07/01/2026 17:45

ONE glass or ONE beer, it’s his body and his life, let him get on with it. I might not be optimum health wise but it’s hardly the end of the world.

Mollydoggerson · 07/01/2026 17:44

One a night, seems fine.