Dh has a drink every night. I don’t think it’s ok. AIBU?

It’s not great for him, but it is around the advised limit so could be much worse. Any alcohol is damaging but I wouldn’t say it’s alcohol problem levels. More worrying is that he will drink anything that’s in rather than choosing for enjoyment.

But if he limits it to one then I’d probably let it fly if he’s having a hard time.

And I’m a teetotaler.

It sounds like the issue is his work.
Its probably why he is having a glass of wine each evening- to wind down and is probably also the source of his poor sleep.
Does he need to look for a new job maybe?

Troll hunters, keep your opinions to yourselves. You're the boring ones.

You understand it’s just one drink not a bottle right?

This.

I’m finding responses on this thread very strange. I think drinking every day (even one glass) is not normal at all and not at all healthy. And the person above saying drinking every day is good for you- absolute nonsense, alcohol is a poison that causes so many issues for health!!

I would be questioning my partner for a nightly drink. I don’t know of anyone who drinks daily.

Well, there's a lot wrong there, you are right, but I'm not sure that focussing on the one drink per evening is the right strategy.

It would be good to try and get him on a better life balance all round but I know it's not always easy.

Whilst it isn't an excessive amount, the pattern and his dependence on having it would concern me.

You’re really judgey and controlling over him, I’d back right off. He’s a person in his own right, he doesn’t need to live according to your rules. My marriage would be over if my husband was judging me as you do him, his sleep, exercise, phone use, drinking, it’s just not ok; fo you even like him?

wnd yes one drink a night is fine, apologise.

Jesus thank god i don't live with you. Poor husband.

But do you not think it’s part of being a family/couple to look after ourselves and not dig ourselves an early grave?

My DH would easily have 2 beers each night, but I ask him to try and keep it to 3 nights a week max. Yes, it may sound controlling. He is early 50s too and has high blood pressure and possibly kidney issues.

He also wouldn’t eat any fruit or veg unless I fed it to him.

All I want is for us to grow old together and me to not loose him early.

Is that really unreasonable?

I would have thought stress would be the most likely issue behind his sleep issues.

The evidence actually shows little and often (a la the whole of Southern Europe) is far healthier than more, less often.

I don’t think it’s normal. I bet he can’t go a week without drink.

I think when people start to rely on alcohol to relieve stress, it gets risky.

My DSD's mum started on one a night... it slipped to two, then half a bottle of wine, a whole bottle, then a whole bottle plus extra secret drinking. She's dead now, from the alcohol.

An extreme story perhaps, but just... be cautious. If it starts to increase, it could be worrying.

I don't think it's normal to drink every night at all.

I mean it's his life it's only one a night

I don't think one drink a day is an issue.

You seem to find several other things about him quite annoying, do you think he's picking up on your general disapproval of him and that's why he's defensive?

If you find his lifestyle incompatible with your own you can choose to leave the relationship, you might both be happier. I'm not saying his single daily drink is LTB territory but you don't seem to like him.

It's not your body, though. It's his.

Can he take a night or two off? If not, I think you’re right to be concerned.

My partner must have a drink every day. He has had to have something every day as long as I’ve known him, which in itself is a problem as he simply cannot go without. It is an addition, no doubt. And the amounts have crept up from initially low nightly amounts over the years. Twenty years on and it’s still nightly, but quite a bit more. I cannot remember the last day he didn’t have a drink - he can have flu but it doesn’t affect the drink.

All this started with half a glass of wine a night.

Not arguing with someone dont mean you cant be controlling.

I wouldn't be ok with it, especially as it seems he is using alcohol to cope with stress or relieve it. An occasional drink for leisure is very different to drinking everyday, especially since the impact of regular consumption are well evidenced in science.

Partly depends on the size of the glass. But more than that it depends on whether he can do without it. It’s generally seen as being a good idea to have a minimum of a day or two alcohol free.
If he is drinking a small glass of something as he enjoys it then I wouldnt worry too much. But if he’s relying on it as a crutch then that’s a problem.

One a night - fine. It's when one creeps up to four or five that it becomes rather more of a problem. The other things sound altogether more of a concern tbh. Is the work stress due to something time-limited (project or similar)?