Dh has a drink every night. I don’t think it’s ok. AIBU?

The problem is that it is a harmful pattern of drinking. Recommendations are some days of not drinking each week. And he is close to the limits, although the WHO states that there is no safe level of alcohol use - the guidelines are about minimizing harm.

However, there is also a question of psychological dependence. Which is equally damaging, but in different ways.

Easy to spot those who are in denial about their own problems with alcohol.

I’m surprised at the responses tbh, I don’t think drinking alcohol everyday is okay and I wouldn’t be okay with it.

It sounds like he’s self medicating 🤷‍♀️

Sure, like the person who has a bar of chocolate every night, how long till they have more.

id bet good money some of these posters have unhealthy habits themselves, maybe a weight problem, sitting there eating crisps or chocolate whilst hyper ventilating about this bloke and his one drink

Same here

1 drink every night , well when it is just one with dinner , I can’t see a problem.
Where the worry lies is , if this is something he hasn’t always done , how long before it leads to having more than one 🤷🏻‍♀️

About 30% of the population of France is classified as problem drinkers. I would say that is pretty significant. Alcohol culture is also changing massively, with rising awareness of the risks.

i couldn’t get concerned about that unless it’s more than one drink a night.‘I could and at times have had one drink a night.:::absolutely no desire to continue. Give me one chocolate bar a night and that’s a different matter, I’d eat them ALL.

I’d say he should have a night or 2 off a week, say Monday and Tuesday. But 5 drinks a week isn’t excessive- especially with a meal.

A G and T can be several drinks though. And some people have large glasses of Vino.

Not sure it’s a massive issue tbh OP if it genuinely is just the one drink.

Lol. Do you think that the entirety of the French population are teetering on alcoholism? It’s eminently possible to have a drink with food and it never to become a problem.

If he carries on and this becomes a long-term habit, it’s only a matter of time before 1 drink a night becomes 2, and eventually 3, and so on. It’s highly addictive. I mentioned my dad and uncle in my post above, but I have other relatives who obviously have issues with alcohol. It only takes one especially stressful day at work, or other stressful event, and he will decide to have another drink. That then lowers his inhibition even more and he will then be even more likely to think what’s the harm in just one more etc.

YABU. You shouldn't nag him about such a moderate amount. I would understand if he was knocking back three pints a night, or a bottle, but a glass of wine a night is not too bad, although I do agree that alcohol is not an ideal coping mechanism. However, I would say nothing unless he is drinking more and more. How is he in other ways?

How does he stick to just one beer or glass of wine ? Seems very under control.

It's not even remotely normal to drink alcohol daily, and it's quite scary that some people think it is. They won't have it though. Will NOT accept that they're wrong. Wasting your breath. 🙄

BINGO!

As is what YOU said.

HTH.

.

Thank you everyone - I don’t drink so never know if I’m being unreasonable when it comes this. I think when you have never done something, and/or your family never did either, it's hard to be relaxed about it. I find the idea of DH hurling himself down a snowy slope whilst balanced on a board irresponsible and short sighted, but he see's it as enjoyable so I let him crack on.
In the real world NO-ONE thinks drinking alcohol every night is normal In my real world it is totally normal, and no issue. My Granny has a g&t every night in summer and a sherry daily in the winter. She is 97 and still going strong.
It probably is a habit but so is a cuppa when you wake up, or a shower before bed.
It sounds like your DH does have some concerning issues but 1 drink isn't one of them...

We have such a weird relationship with alcohol. I don’t think it’s normal to drink alcohol daily but clearly lots of others do. Hopefully he’ll see it’s a problem soon.

If it’s one a night, every single night then that is habit inducing. Your body starts to anticipate that one drink each night. Then eventually what happens when he has an especially hard day at work? That one glass a night becomes 2 glasses of wine/ 2 beers a night. Alcoholism slowly creeps up on you over time.

Your husband is drinking to relief stress. But that alcohol is causing him to be more stressed and anxious after it wears off. And he’s developed a craving for it each evening, which is why he’s having a drink every single night. He should focus on other ways to relieve stress and to unwind at the end of the day.

Im speaking from experience. I’m currently watching my dad slowly himself to death. It’s been going on since I was 17/18. Nearly 30 years. My uncle died of alcoholism. He was so desperate for money to drink in the end, he used to steel to fund his habit - the family had to rallie round to give my auntie money to fund basic essentials. My cousins were washing their hair with washing up liquid at one point because they couldn’t even afford to buy shampoo, and then he ended up dying a horrible death.

You are right to be concerned OP. Don’t listen to the people on here who are giving you a hard time. He needs to nip it in the bud before it becomes a real problem. If his job is driving him to drink every night then maybe he needs to look for another job.

Lol. Fantasyland.

I’ve been drinking too much for a year - pretty much every day, certainly one middle sized pub glass, often more like a large one. It’s crept up. I never used to do it. It absolutely has become a habit, and perhaps a crutch. BUT I am doing dry January and I’ve not missed it at all.

i think the health evidence is clear - even a glass of wine a day is a BAD THING. This year, it’s felt the right compromise - we do bad things sometimes to compensate for even worse stuff. But I (and perhaps your DP too) need to stop… but, nobody but me could have made me stop, that’s what’s tough for those watching…

Thats your opinion. It's nothing more than that.

Yep. The way some posters normalize drinking so much/every night, like it's fine/normal/OK is really worrying. No wonder the NHS is on its knees. And these same posters will be the ones who bash and berate people who are overweight, for being the ones who cost the NHS money. 🙄

I think one can or one glass of wine* with dinner is ok.

It is when it is a glass before, during and after that it’s creeping up to be too much.

• Not one if those giant glasses with half a bottle of wine in them.

Vast numbers of people think it's not too.

And it really isn't.