Do you know anyone who came around to liking Dubai despite being VERY reluctant at first?

“Investing in people” - you must be joking!!!

The people who make Dubai work - all the foreign workers - pay with blood, sweat and tears. Literally.

Can he go and you stay in England??

Funny enough I follow Jamelia (singer) who moved to Dubai, she cant sing Dubai's praises enough. Yesterday I heard her say its the best decision she ever made and would never come back, obviously she's famous so her experiences may be a lot different.

Random question but what are ages? I only ask as I knew of a pilot who moved to Dubai and do the long haul for the 5years, save and run idea. The difference was he was in his 50s, kids had grown and left home so it was go out for 5years, work hard, save harder, then come back to UK and retire early.
possibly your dh has heard the same as we may work for the same airline. I wouldn’t personally go, it doesn’t even appeal for a holiday. I get the money is good, but a pilots salary is hardly living on the breadline anyway

There is no amount of money in the world that would make me move to Dubai, especially if I was comfortable and didn’t need the extra money. For all the reasons you mentioned.

Five years is a very long time especially for your children. And if you break up while you are there you will be forced to either stay there or leave without your children. Stick to your guns and say no. Money isn't everything.

Does it have to be Dubai?

I have a friend in Abu Dhabi (long term, has brought up kuds there, is into outdoorsy life and camping). She likes Abu Dhabi but would be reluctant to live in Dubai.

You'd also have to contend with the, I've chosen to move here and cannot ever even comprehend that the place I used to live is remotely ok anymore and all I do is endlessly praise this country, expats. It gets old.

Could he go on his own and you guys go out there in the holidays?

No. Especially as a woman.

I'm not a huge Dubai fan, but I do have some thoughts on life as an expat, and the main one is that 5 years is a long stint. Two years, I might consider, but the truth is that every year you're away is a year you become more rooted in the new place and less so in the old. People at home move house, move towns, life changes, parents age, all without you there. You miss events and life markers with friends and famil yand it becomes less like the home you left. All these things happen regardless, of course, but when you're there, it's incremental and you adjust after each increment. When you're gone, it hits you all at once. Sometimes a relocation is worth that tradeoff, but sometimes it's not.

Also, if he's a pilot, how much is he going to be away? I think there's a difference between a whole family adventure and a move where he's going to be gone and you're going to be the one doing most of the adjusting.

We lived out there for nearly 6 years (initially planned to be out for 2 and then extended it). We had our two girls out there although returned to UK when they were 18 months and 3.5. It’s very family friendly and there’s plenty to do outside malls and brunches etc. Plenty of great museums, beaches obviously and lots of classes and activities for the kids.

We never really fell into the Dubai glam hype. You can still have a lovely cultured childhood for your kids out there and the expat community is very friendly as everyone has been in the same boat re moving over and making friends etc. We saved aggressively while there and this hugely helped with buying a large house when we returned. The first year out there is expensive setting up home and you’ll need to look at school fees carefully. We also set money aside for repatriation as that was very costly.

We adopted our dog out there also and brought her back with us. There are lots of dog friendly places and air conditioned daycares for pets (you’ll need these for when you travel - I’d recommend Dogwalk Dubai).

There were plenty of Dubai types I would roll my eyes at while out there, and lots of people just go for instagram pics etc but just to reassure you, not everyone is like that. If it wasn’t for family here I would definitely consider moving out there again. It’s really well placed if you want to travel as well but you’re probably well connected with that given your DHs job. Good luck with your decision.

I wouldn’t do it. Not because of any (personal) dislike towards Dubai. But the risk of you getting stuck there is just too high. Especially when you already dislike it!

I lived there for three years and never again! Everything is about consumerism, the heat is dreadful and means you tend to stay indoors in air con. When we were there everything was hideously expensive and simple groceries especially fruit and veg.
We were lucky that my children went to the same school that I taught in so we had a good discount on fees. There were some good times and we did meet some genuine people but it definately was not the life I wanted to lead.

But they don't care about the huge amount of migrant workers who are treated near enough like slaves?

I have a lot of experience of the gulf states and I wouldn’t take golden retriever dogs there. kids ok but not the dogs.

also men (and it’s still mainly men) put time limits on things and it goes one of 2 ways. They don’t settle and come back home within 18 months or the reverse happens and they start to enjoy life there and become increasingly detached from the UK.

I’m not in the hate Dubai camp - have just come back from holiday there and have friends who live there. Although I’m not sure I could live there.

We knew a family who were there as the DH was a pilot. She lasted a few years there with the children and then moved back to the UK for school. They went back for holidays etc and the DH came over to UK often too.

He packed it all in. They work the pilots quite hard from what I understand. Obviously within safety limits but he got to the stage he just couldn’t do it anymore and quit very suddenly. Obviously missing his family was part of it. But I think your DH should really research the work culture.

In my experience, the UAE is what you make it. I’ve been in the region for nearly 20 years. I don’t brunch, I am rarely in a mall, and I spend a lot of time in nature (the desert is different to the UK’s greenery but beautiful in its own right). My friend circle is the same. There is a huge amount to learn and explore about the UAE and wider GCC/MENA - you just need to take the time to look beyond the malls.

But if you strongly feel you dislike the idea, I’d say don’t move. The first year abroad in any country is the hardest and worse if you don’t want to be there already. It’s a huge adjustment.

It’s clean, free from crime, tax effective and built itself from a small fishing port over the last 40years. It should be applauded. Investing in growth and people.

ok, it doesn’t have the culture of the UK but I’d embrace the opportunity

I do also know someone who managed to stay out there for 5 years with two small kids aged 4 and 1 when they left Uk. Mum is Eastern European, dad is Thai so an interesting family to start with!

She never said much about it but she did say the lifestyle and heat suited her. She was happy to be back in Uk (came back so oldest dc could be in place to swot for 11+). I asked her once if she would ever consider returning and she laughed merrily, “No!!!!”

I think I would hate my kids to grow up somewhere like that. The loss of access to nature and connection with their home would be horrible, just at the age when childhood is so magical. I’d rather they remember walks with the dogs and going to primary school and ordinary society rather than some kind of climate-controlled fake shopping mall life.

Oman?

Never in a month of Sundays! Wouldn't entertain the idea for more than 2 seconds.